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    A Shellfish Boyfriend

    | QLD, Australia | Dating, Top

    (I can’t eat seafood, and my boyfriend of two months knows this. It is a few days before my birthday.)

    Boyfriend: “Babe, I’ve booked a restaurant for lunch on your birthday.”

    Me: “That’s nice of you, but I just wanted to have a quiet day at home. And I wish you wouldn’t call me babe.”

    Boyfriend: “But I want to go out for lunch.”

    Me: “Alright, where are we going?”

    Boyfriend: “[Cheap seafood restaurant].”

    Me: “But that’s a seafood restaurant. I can’t eat seafood.”

    Boyfriend: “I wanted seafood.”

    (On the day of my birthday, I have to drive to his place, and then he drives to the restaurant. We arrive, and I open the menu.)

    Me: “Well, at least they have vegetarian options as well. I don’t think I could just eat plain chicken and salad.”

    Boyfriend: “Specials are in the back.”

    Me: “Can I read the whole menu?”

    Boyfriend: “I’d rather you didn’t. Can you just order a special?”

    (I give in, and order the chicken and salad $10 special. He gets the same thing. During the meal he tells me he has picked out our kids’ names. I never mentioned wanting kids. The check comes; he looked at it, turns it to me.)

    Boyfriend: “That’s $28.”

    Me: “I am not paying that. Besides, I don’t have any cash.”

    Boyfriend: “They accept card.”

    Me: “They don’t split bills.”

    Boyfriend: “So, do I need to pay for it?”

    Me: “Yes!”

    (I broke up with him a couple of days later.)