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    Category: Advice

    Love advice is best taken lightly, if at all. Thankfully, our friends and families are armed with truckloads of it!

    Explosive New Name

    | USA | Advice, Engaged

    (My friend walks into work crying. She is the only woman in the office and the other guys run away.)

    Friend: “My fiancé, that meanie! He says I have to take his name. I don’t wanna! My initials are TTT. That’s T cubed, Triple T. I have monogrammed towels!”

    Me: “Well, the solution is simple; you hyphenate and he buys you new towels.”

    Friend: *squealing* “Oh, my god, it’s TNT! I gotta make a call!”

    (She comes back 10 minutes later singing “I’m TNT; I’m dynamite!”

    Coworker: “You created a monster…”

    (She sang the song at their wedding reception.)

    Dumped In The Ocean

    | NJ, USA | Advice, Fights/Breakups

    (My fiancée has been acting the part of “sounding board” for a friend of hers who recently was dumped by her boyfriend. At 23, this was the friend’s longest relationship – over four years. My fiancée is at her parents’ house telling the parents about how inconsolable the young woman is.)

    Fiancée’s Mother: *to my fiancée* “You know, when you broke up with your first boyfriend at 23, I told you that “there’s other fish in the sea,” and “you’re better off without him,” and “you didn’t need him anyway.” Oh, and “if he really loved you he wouldn’t have dumped you like that.”

    My Fiancée: “I know, and I wanted to punch you in the throat.”

    (Her father bursts out laughing.)

    Fiancée’s Father: “That’s why I never said anything!”

    From Orange To Red Alert

    | Bristol, England, UK | Advice, Flirting/How We Met

    (My friend and I are arguing about which color I look best in. I’m wearing an orange shirt, which I say is my best, so I ask another friend, who is female.)

    Me: “Hey, would you go out with me if I wore…”

    Friend: “Yes! I thought you’d never ask!”

    Me: *to other friend* “…See, told y— Oh, s***.”

    Fisherman’s Friend

    | England, UK | Advice

    (I am talking to my friend via Skype.)

    Friend: “So, how are things with you and [Crush]?”

    Me: “Non-existent at the moment.”

    Friend: “Really? I guess it is summer vacation…”

    Me: “I haven’t spoken to him in about a week.”

    Friend: “Have you tried texting each other?”

    Me: “No… I want to but he might be busy or he might have gone on holiday.”

    Friend: “Well, you know what they say. ‘You can’t catch fish unless you go fishing.’ I don’t know who they are. But they say it.”

    Me: “I suppose they’re right.”

    Friend: “Yep. So go catch yourself some fish.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Friend: “Got your net and your bait?”

    Me: “Yes, I have my phone and enough credit left.”

    Friend: “You rented a boat?”

    Me: “Yes, I found some courage.”

    Friend: “Good. Go get yourself some fish.”

    Thirty Years Of Good Advice

    | Ireland | Advice, Marriage & Partners

    (I work as a receptionist at a therapy centre. One of our physical therapists has a regular client who is an elderly man from near my hometown, so we hit it off from day one. I got married recently, so was away for two weeks. When I come back…)

    Client: “Well, how are you now?”

    Me: “I’m good, [Client], how are you?”

    Client: “Ah, not too bad now. How’s married life?”

    Me: *tired of this question but unable to get annoyed with him* “You know, it’s no different if I’m honest. Just, everyone asks that.”

    Client: “Ach, well, just remember: The first thirty years are the hardest.”

    (If I’m honest, that was probably the best marriage advice I got from anyone…)

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