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    Category: Engaged

    Engagement can be a bit like romantic purgatory for some, but at least you get to test drive a ring.

    Pudding Up With Him

    | PA, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancé is going to have his wisdom teeth removed, so I take him grocery shopping to buy soft foods he likes. He is not happy about it.)

    Me: “How about some pudding? You like pudding.”

    Fiancé: “Oh, yeah! Okay, pudding. What kind of pudding don’t you like?”

    Me: “DON’T I like? Well, I like most kinds. Banana is pretty awful, though.”

    (He grabs three boxes of banana pudding.)

    Fiancé: “Okay, then I want banana. I don’t want you eating any of my pudding!”

    (A girl behind us starts laughing.)

    Me: *to her* “Yes, this is the man I’m marrying. Isn’t he sweet?”

    The Appliance Of Fast Science

    | CA, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancée and I do not eat at the big chain fast food restaurants, such as McDonald’s or Burger King. One evening, she is eating a burrito, which reminds me of a strange interest I’ve had for a while.)

    Me: “So, you know how I haven’t eaten at Taco Bell for almost five years?”

    Fiancée: “Yeah?”

    Me: “I know this sounds stupid, but hear me out. Ever since the breakfast menu’s come out…I’ve really, really wanted to try what’s on there.”

    Fiancée: “You know, I have been interested in trying the Dorito Locos Taco…”

    Me: “Yeah, but I’m talking about the breakfast menu. Like, they have sweet stuff.”

    Fiancée: “They do?!”

    (I nod. She pauses only for a moment before…)

    Fiancée: “If we write it all down, it’s science!”

    Itching With Respect

    | MI, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancé and I are at our shop. During a slow moment, I lightly scratch his head as he works.)

    Fiancé: “You itched me.”

    (I start laughing.)

    Fiancé: “I’m gonna have to punish you, aren’t I? I’m gonna spank you. You’d enjoy that, wouldn’t you?”

    Me: *laughing* “Not really.”

    Fiancé: *laughing* “I’m trying to talk dirty! You know how unnatural it is for me to talk dirty!”

    Me: “Yet you can do it all day to the phone.”

    Fiancé: “I don’t respect the phone!”

    The Booking Of No Return

    | CA, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancée and I have signed a contract and submitted a deposit for our wedding venue. It should be noted that I’m slightly hard of hearing, and I will occasionally mix up important consonants as a result.)

    Fiancée: “So I wanted to let you know that our deposit check went through, so we are officially booked.”

    (Having misheard her, I start to laugh.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry… I heard ‘f***ed.’ What did you actually say?”

    Fiancée: “…booked. I said booked.”

    Me: “Okay. Because I heard ‘We are officially f***ed.'”

    Fiancée: “Nice.”

    Me: “It kind of works, though! We are sort of officially f***ed, aren’t we?”

    Fiancée: “Oh, dear…”

    One Is Tardier Than The Other

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Engaged

    (I’m boarding a plane tomorrow that will take me a thousand miles away from my fiancé for four months for an internship. We don’t know if we’ll get to see each other until the end of it. We’re both absurdly emotional today and know it’ll just be worse tomorrow. Today’s our last full day together, so we’re spending it just the two of us.)

    Fiancé: “My brain keeps going through crazy scenarios.”

    Me: “Like what?”

    Fiancé: “Like if we stay home today, this day won’t happen and we can spend the day together tomorrow and then the next day you’ll be on the plane.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, time doesn’t work that way, honey.”

    Fiancé: “I know… darn it, where’s my TARDIS or my DeLorean?”

    Me: *laughs*

    Fiancé: “Or better yet, I’ll build a TARDeLorean!”


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