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    Category: Engaged

    Engagement can be a bit like romantic purgatory for some, but at least you get to test drive a ring.

    A Universal Truth

    | Scotland, UK | Engaged

    (I’m trying to talk to my fiancé while he is squeezing my breasts. I’m getting frustrated.)

    Me: “My boobs aren’t the meaning of life, you know.”

    Fiancé: “No, They are the meaning of the universe!”

    As Long As You Don’t Drag Earth And Wind Into This

    | ON, Canada | Engaged

    (My fiancée and I are having dinner and discussing the fact that I don’t like getting my engagement ring wet.)

    Me: “I just don’t like putting it in water. I take it off to wash my hands and shower and stuff.”

    Fiancée: “Oh, I see how it is. You’re just cheating on me with the water. You love it that much do you?” *fakes offence*

    Me: “Oh, baby, yeah. I just can’t resist how wet it gets me.” *looks him directly in the eye as I take a deliberate sip of water from my glass*

    Fiancée: *gasps* “Now you’re doing it right in front of me!”

    Me: “Oh, like you are one to talk. You cheat on me with fire all the time!”

    Fiancée: “No, I don’t. I just like looking. She’s so hot.”

    Me: “Mm-hmm, is that why I catch you touching her all the time?”

    Fiancée: “I’m just stoking her a little bit. It means nothing, I swear!”

    (There’s a long pause where we stare at each other before bursting out laughing.)

    Me: “The people in this restaurant must think we are nuts!”

    A Plague Of Panties

    | Nashville, TN, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancé and I are only recently engaged and I’m very excitedly contemplating the possibilities for the various wedding details by looking through a bridal magazine.)

    Me: “I think I’d like peonies or lotus for my bouquet.”

    Fiancé: *staring at me in horror* “You want panties and locusts in your bouquet?!”

    (I immediately collapsed in laughter and could not recover for about 10 minutes.)

    The Language Of Lazy Love

    | CA, USA | Engaged

    (I have the day off, and my fiancée is just about to go back to work after her lunch break. As she gets ready, I look at her and move my arms in a silent gesture of ‘hug me, please.’ She rolls her eyes and walks over to hug me.)

    Fiancée: “Use your words, hon.”

    Me: “I don’t have to! You knew exactly what I meant!”

    Fighting Words

    | Kansas City, KS, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancé and I are competitive people and love challenging each other to new games. He suggested ‘words with friends’ recently. English is his second language. I’m an English major.)

    Fiancé: “What the f***! 50 points?!”

    Me: “You forfeited?”

    Fiancé: “All I had were ‘A’s.”

    Me: “Aw, that was a close game. New one?”

    Fiancé: “Yeah.”

    (We play.)

    Fiancé: “Over 100 points in two turns? What?!”

    Me: “I had a blank tile.”

    Fiancé: “Start over.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I play a complex word.)

    Fiancé: “What does that even MEAN?”

    Me: “It’s a parasitic creature.”

    Fiancé: “I’m done.”

    Me: “With words with friends, or…?”

    Fiancé: “Words.”

    Me: “In general?”

    (True to his word, he didn’t speak to me the rest of the day.)


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