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  • Very Soppy Soup
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  • Category: Engaged

    Engagement can be a bit like romantic purgatory for some, but at least you get to test drive a ring.

    Facing The Romance

    | IL, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancé isn’t usually very romantic, although he is quite sentimental. It recently snowed and the light breeze was blowing snow off the taller buildings. He also likes ‘your face’ jokes.)

    Me: “It looks like it’s snowing in the sunshine.”

    Fiancé: “Your face is sunshine! Wait…”

    Me: “Did you… Did you just unintentionally say something romantic?”

    Fiancé: “… yes.”

    Fiancé Approves +5

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancé and I have been in a long distance relationship for five years, and we tend to message or text, especially about work. This text exchange occurs after a particularly bad night at work for her. We are both avid gamers.)

    Fiancé: “I have a question.”

    Me: “Go ahead.”

    Fiancé: “When we live together, and I’m stressed, am I allowed to scream primal war-screams without judgment?”

    Me: “Of course. It gives me a 10% stamina boost.”

    Crafty Methods

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Engaged

    (My fiancée is busy doing craft stuff at her desk.)

    Fiancée: “Why is there a modem on my craft desk?”

    Me: “Because I put it there to make you ask that.”

    Fiancée: “You just wanted me to put rhinestones and glitter on it, didn’t you?”

    Me: “Yes, I wanted you to make it a bedazzlingly broken modem…”

    The Tragic Cut Down Of Cutlery

    | HomeWilliamsport, PA, USA | Engaged

    (It’s national novel writing month, and I’m participating. This means that my already bizarre imagination is working overtime. It should also be noted that I keep plastic spoons by my bedside to snack on low fat peanut butter from time to time.)

    Me: *taking the last spoon out of the box* “This is my last spoon.”

    Fiancée: “I’ll get you more tomorrow when I go shopping.”

    Me: “You don’t understand. This reminds me of my uncle. He was a spoon, too… but he was killed during the last Great Utensil War.”

    Fiancée: “The what?!”

    Me: “He was… He was…” *sniff* …standing guard, when he was ambushed by a group of butter knives hiding in a salad. Their reflective surfaces helped them to blend in with their surroundings.”

    Fiancée: “I’m going back to playing my video game.”

    Me: “Uncle Spoony never stood a chance.”

    Fiancée: “You need help.”

    Me: “They forked him up pretty bad.”

    Fiancée: “It’s a good thing I love you, or one of us would be packing right now, and I don’t think it would be me.”

    An Unreasonable Assumption

    | Kent, England, UK | Advice, Engaged

    (I am chatting with two of my co-workers about nothing in particular. My male coworker is getting married next year. I am female.)

    Female Coworker: *to male coworker* “You can be quite feminine at times, you know.”

    Me: *laughing* “You know, I thought that earlier when you were saying about how good the Bridget Jones films were!”

    Male Coworker: *indignantly* “I thought that women liked it when men are in touch with their feminine side?”

    (My female coworker and I share a knowing look.)

    Me: “Yeah… When a woman says she likes a man who is in touch with his feminine side, she actually means ‘I like a man who will sympathise with me even when I’m being completely unreasonable.’”

    Male Coworker: “Ah…”

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