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    Category: Engaged

    Engagement can be a bit like romantic purgatory for some, but at least you get to test drive a ring.

    Love Punch

    | NY, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancé recently came home for two weeks on leave from basic training. It is one of his first nights home. I am up early and running around getting ready work. I go to kiss my fiancé goodbye (like I always do) but as soon as I bend down to kiss him the dog barks and startles him so badly that he punches me in the face.)

    Me: “Did you just punch me in the face?!”

    Fiancé: “Oh, my god! You scared me!”

    (I leave for work and on my way he calls me.)

    Me: *answers phone while holding in laughter* “Good morning, slugger!”

    No Need To Panic!

    | CA, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancée and I have just finished grocery shopping and are driving home. We are listening to a ‘Panic! at the Disco’ CD as we pull into the driveway.)

    Me: “Huh. I kind of liked what they did with some of the lyrics in that song.”

    Fiancée: “Yeah, they’re pretty cool.”

    Me: “But I couldn’t understand all of them. What exactly was one line? Take the something off the sheets?”

    Fiancée: “I actually don’t know.”

    Me: *fake pouty* “God, [Fiancée]! Why do I even keep you around if you can’t remember Panic! at the Disco lyrics?”

    Fiancée: “Sex?”

    Me: “…Right.”

    Dessert Dishes And Just Deserts

    | IL, USA | Engaged

    (I have anxiety and having a messy home sets it off. This means that I’m usually the one who does the cleaning around the house, because my fiancé has ADD and forgets to do it. We’re currently in a sort of standoff over the dishes in the sink.)

    Me: *sitting on the couch eating ice cream for breakfast with a plastic spoon*

    Fiancé: “Really?”

    Me: “What?”

    Fiancé: “The plastic spoon?”

    Me: “Well, you haven’t done the dishes.”

    Fiancé: “So this is your plan, to just use plastic spoons until I do them?”

    Me: *takes another bite* “Yes.”

    Fiancé: “Okay, then.” *gets up and goes in the kitchen, coming back with his own ice cream and a FORK*

    Me: “Really? You’re making fun of me for using a plastic spoon, but you have a fork?”

    Fiancé: “A fork works!”

    Me: “So does a plastic spoon!”

    (We pause while we eat our ice cream.)

    Me: “This is such an adult breakfast. Ice cream. I was gonna make eggs, but there are no dishes.”

    Fiancé: “Yeah, me too. I didn’t want to wash the pan.”

    Me: “Are you ever going to do them, because I’m not this time.”

    Fiancé: “In a bit.”

    Me: “What’s a bit, twenty minutes or twenty days?”

    Fiancé: “I haven’t decided yet.”

    (If he doesn’t do them soon, I’m probably going to cave. I’m worried they’ll grow legs and walk off.)

    Living In The Post-Luigi Period

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancé and I were discussing games – specially ‘Luigi’s Mansion’ for the GameCube. She was born in 1990, while I was born in 1981. Also, I’ve been previously married.)

    Fiancé: “Oh, my god, Luigi’s Mansion came out in 2001! I swear I was older then that when it came out!”

    Me: *pause* “Wait, when did you start your period?”

    Fiancé: “About that same time, 11 or 12. Why?”

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “So, you were hiring puberty while I was getting divorced.”

    That Will Put Hairs On Your Chest

    | GA, USA | Engaged

    (We are cuddling in bed. I am a woman, though we often joke he’s the woman in the relationship because he’s more particular about his grooming before going out places, whereas I just quickly brush my hair, tie it back, and am ready to go.)

    Me: *rubbing my fiancé’s belly, and suddenly noticing something* “Did… did you shave your belly hair?!”

    Fiancé: “Yup.”

    Me: *looks at him more closely* “…and your chest hair?!”

    Fiancé: “Yes. I shaved all my hair below my neck.”

    Me: “Why?”

    Fiancé: “I just felt like it.”

    Me: “Fair enough, I suppose. Why didn’t you mention it before?”

    Fiancé: “I wanted to see how long it’d take for you to notice.”

    Me: “…did you just pull a woman on me?”

    Fiancé: “I totally just pulled a woman on you.”


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