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    Category: Engaged

    Engagement can be a bit like romantic purgatory for some, but at least you get to test drive a ring.

    The Love Cycle

    | Berkeley, CA, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancé and I are cuddling in bed. I am cold because I’ve just jumped under the covers. I cling to her tightly.)

    Me: “Brrrrrr. And burr. And burrow. I burrow into you and cling like a burr because brrrrrr. Maybe I could be the burr in our relationship, because then I would cling to you and never let you go. But I wouldn’t want to be a burr because then I would poke you and hurt you and you’d toss me off and put your clothes in the laundry after hiking. Besides, then all that would sprout from our relationship would be ugly burr bushes.”

    Fiancé: “There are some soft burrs, like in prairie grass. And they have pretty flowers that you could sprout.”

    Me: “Ooooh, yes! I could be a soft cuddly burr. But no, I don’t want to be a burr because then I would be a passive participant in our relationship, just clinging along for the ride, and you would have to cast me away from you for anything to sprout from our relationship.” *pause* “I love that we are talking about our relationship in terms of prairie ecology.”

    Fiancé: “Does that mean that therapy is controlled burns?”

    Me: “Yes! We could be those prairie grasses with deep entwined roots that survive fire. We would create a stable and enduring ecology and hold a lot of nutrients and trap water so it cycles into the ecosystem slowly and gently instead of flooding. And drama can be the grazing herbivores that munch on the leaves and trample the grasses, but ends up leaving fertilizer in the soil, and more room for sun, and aerating the earth!”

    Fiancé: “I love you.”

    The Odds Are Ever In Their Favor

    | IL, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancé is making lots of cookies for Christmas with his parents. He hands me one to taste test. Note, I’m a huge ‘The Hunger Games’ fan.)

    Fiancé: “Here. Let me know if this is good.”

    Me: *takes a bite and moans* “You are my Peeta Mellark.”

    Fiancé: “Huh?”

    Me: “You make me delicious baked goods, so you are my Peeta Mellark and I am your Katniss Everdeen.”

    Fiancé: “But you’ve never killed an animal and given it to me. You can’t be my Katniss.”

    (A few days later, he gets me a fake bow and arrow and a stuffed squirrel so I can ‘shoot him some dinner’!)

    Making A Date With Disaster

    | CO, USA | Engaged, Fights/Breakups

    (My fiancée and I are putting up our new 2014 calendar. He has a marker and is doodling little icons in the corner of important dates, so that he can remember them.)

    Fiancée: “Babe, when is our anniversary again? February?”

    Me: “March 4th!”

    (I watch as he draws a little smiley face on that day. When he gets to my birthday in May, he draws a little birthday cake with my initials on it. Finally, in July, he gets to our wedding date. He draws a skull and crossbones.)

    Me: “What the… You a**! This is going on the internet!”

    Alive And Breathing

    | Northern Ireland, UK | Engaged

    Alive And Breathing

    Home

    Northern Ireland, UK

    (My fiancé and I are talking randomly. It should be noted that according to my fiancé I ‘snore like a walrus.’)

    Fiancé: “Sometimes when you’re sleeping and not snoring, I check to see if you’re still alive.”

    Me: *hysterically laughing* “I don’t know whether that’s a sweet or a dicky thing to say.”

    Fiancé: “At least it shows I care!”

    Don’t Be Too Dreamy In Your Dream

    | CA, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancée has returned from a backpacking trip, so we both wake up rather late in the morning. It should be noted that I have a rather large, yet allegedly magnificent, posterior.)

    Me: “Had a weird dream, hon.”

    Fiancée: “Oh?”

    Me: “Yeah. I dreamed that I was becoming friends with this other woman, and you said I couldn’t see her anymore because I looked ‘too dreamy’ around her.”

    Fiancée: “Well, as long as you look dreamier around me, it’s okay.”

    Me: “Oh, but it gets better! The woman in my dream said I was beautiful but she couldn’t, and I quote, ‘stand my a**!’”

    (My fiancée, who has started to pour herself coffee, freezes.)

    Fiancée: “Oh. Well, if that’s the case, now she has to die.”


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