• Time To Step Up
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  • November Theme Of The Month: Crushes!

    Category: Family/Kids

    Family and/or kids always adds spice to any relationship. Specifically, the kind of spice that gets in your eyes and makes you cry.

    Something Missing In Their Relationship

    | MI, USA | Family/Kids, Marriage & Partners

    (I had gone out of state with my eight-month-old daughter for a week to go to a wedding. My husband couldn’t go because he had to work. We get home, unpack our things, and I’m in the kitchen making a bottle for our daughter, when I overhear him kiss her on the head and mutter:)

    Husband: “I missed you so much more than I missed Mommy!”

    A Perfect Motherly Storm

    | Southampton, NY, USA | Family/Kids, Flirting/How We Met

    (I work at a popular home decor shop. An older woman comes in, and I make my way to greet her. It’s a sweltering day outside.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, welcome!”

    Customer: “It’s hardly good out. It’s boiling outside!”

    Me: “I know; it’s miserable. I hate the hot weather.”

    (The woman looks shocked and thrilled. She starts eyeing me up and down, appraisingly.)

    Customer: “You do?”

    Me: “Yup. I’m more of a winter girl. I love the snow.”

    (At this point, the woman’s eyes grow huge and round, and she starts to bounce up and down a little.)

    Customer: “Are you married?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Are. You. Married?”

    Me: “Um, no, but I do live with my boyfriend.”

    Customer: “Perfect! You should meet my son!”

    Me: “I’m flattered, but like I said, I live with my boy—”

    Customer: “He lives in Michigan! It snows there!”

    Me: “That’s great for him, but I don’t plan on moving. And like I said, I have a—”

    Customer: “He’s coming over for dinner tonight! You should come over!”

    (At this point, I make up an excuse and hand her off to another customer. She leaves without buying anything. A few hours later, she comes back in. I’m the only free salesperson at this point, and as it’s corporate policy, I have no choice but to greet her.)

    Me: “Hello again, ma’am. Is there anything I can help you—”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    (She pulls out her wallet, and grabs a photo of her son from it.)

    Customer: “He’s famous! He’s a weatherman!”

    Me: “Again, ma’am, that’s great, but like I said, I have a boyfriend, and I don’t know your son.”

    Customer: “But he lives in Michigan!”

    Me: “Ma’am, is there anything I can help you shop for?”

    Customer: “Dinner is at seven! You should come by! He’d love you! You look so nice!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid I can’t come to dinner. I live with my boyfriend, and I don’t think he’d like that.”

    Customer: “…but you said you like snow!”

    (She finally gave up, but she kept moping around the store and shooting me morose looks. I felt so terrible for her son!)

    A Relative Misunderstanding

    | Shingle Springs, CA, USA | Family/Kids

    (I am a junior in high school. I have never had any interest in dating and many of my fellow teenage male students never can fathom this. Sometimes classmates would irritatingly imply a relationship every time they saw me talking to a girl.)

    Classmate: *suggestively* “Hey, [My Name], who’s that cute girl I’ve been seeing you drive to school with every morning?”

    Me: “That would be my SISTER.”

    Classmate: “You’re dating your sister?!”

    Re-Peet Until You Get It Right

    | AB, Canada | Dating, Family/Kids

    (WARNING: This submission contain spoilers for the ending of The Hunger Games. My Mom, sister, and I are at the theatre and see a poster for the new Hunger Games movie, Catching Fire. It reminds me of a conversation I had.)

    Me: “Oh, [Sister], did I tell you what [Friend] told me?”

    Sister: “No, what?”

    Me: “Well, I was telling her how [Boyfriend] is off hunting right now, right? She said ‘Didn’t the kids at camp call you Katniss?’, which I said yes, so then she said ‘So that makes [Boyfriend] Gale.’ Which is awesome! I totally agreed!”

    Sister: “Um, you remember how the books end, right?”

    Me: “Uh, wait.”

    Sister: “She ends up with Peeta.”

    Me: “But, I’m an archer, and, he’s hunting! Katniss and Gale! We’re Katniss and Gale!”

    Sister: “She ends up with Peeta, sorry.”

    Me: “I knew the books ended wrong! We’re Katniss and Gale!”

    Happy She’s Not The Jealous Type

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Dating, Family/Kids

    (When my brother-in-law joins a fraternity, some of his frat-brothers organize a trip to a strip club. They take a limo there for the full experience, but are relying on friends to drive them home after. Only two of them, my future brother-in-law and another, have girlfriends at the time.)

    Frat Boy #1: “Okay, just so everyone knows, I told my girlfriend we’re going to [Other Bar]. Everyone remember that if you happen to run into her.”

    Frat Boy #2: “Got it. What about you, [Brother-In-Law]?”

    Brother-In-Law: “What about me what?”

    Frat Boy #2: “What did you tell your girlfriend? We need to get our stories straight.”

    Brother-In-Law: *looks at them blankly for a moment* “Umm, you do remember that she’s one of our designated drivers, don’t you?”

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