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    Category: Family/Kids

    Family and/or kids always adds spice to any relationship. Specifically, the kind of spice that gets in your eyes and makes you cry.

    Ask Why At The Risk Of Taking A Hike

    | Cleveland, OH, USA | Dating, Family/Kids

    (My older sister and her boyfriend have come out hiking with the rest of us in an area with winding, poorly marked trails, leading to some confusion as to which way to go. They have been dating for over a year, so I’m comfortable teasing him. He has just wandered away from the group to explore a side path.)

    Sister: “Hey, where’d [Boyfriend] go?”

    Me: “He just went over there exploring.”

    Sister: “I should probably go find him before he gets lost.” *follows path*

    Boyfriend: *leaving a different path* “Hey, that trail loops around back here! Wait, where’s [Sister]?”

    Me: “She just went looking for you.”

    Boyfriend: *grinning* “Why?”

    Me: “Because you’re her boyfriend.”

    Boyfriend: *pause* “I’m not going to ask ‘Why’ on that one.”

    Me: “Yeah, I’m not sure either.”

    Racketeering Is Just A Game To Them

    | SC, USA | Family/Kids, Marriage & Partners

    (My sister and my brother-in-law have been playing a certain game on the Nintendo 3DS recently. My brother-in-law is the mayor of a little town, and my sister is a resident. Today, the following exchange took place.)

    Brother-In-Law: “Such scandal!”

    Me: “What?”

    Sister: ” We have a racket going. He sells items for a ridiculously high price, and I convince characters to buy.”

    Brother-In-Law: “If word ever got out connecting [Sister] to the mayor, there’d be a terrible scandal!”

    Sister: *nods* ” We are very scandalous.”

    Me: “…Y’all are weird.”

    The Patter Of Tiny Smelly Feet

    | NY, USA | Dating, Family/Kids

    (I am at my boyfriend’s house, talking to his mom about his new niece.)

    Boyfriend’s Mom: “You know what’s weird about babies? Their feet smell like feet, right after they’re born! Everything else about them is cute and baby-like, but their feet smell like adult feet.”

    (I think this is a weird thing to think about with babies, and I have never heard it before. I have almost forgotten about it until later, when I am talking to her husband about the same new niece.)

    Boyfriend’s Dad: “I always thought the most unusual thing about babies is that their feet smell like feet. Reminds me that they’re little adults! Everything else about them smells like a baby except for their feet.”

    (I guess some people are just made for each other!)

    A Battery Of Questions

    | UK | Dating, Family/Kids

    (My boyfriend and I are having lunch with my parents and our family friend. I still live at home. My and my boyfriend’s vibrator has run out of batteries and I opened it up to discover they were a really obscure type of battery. My dad is a really tech savvy guy, so I asked him if he has any of this type of battery over dinner.)

    Me: “Dad, do we have any of [battery type].”

    Dad: “No, I’ve never even heard of those batteries before. What is it for?”

    Me: “Oh, nothing really. It’s okay. I’ll find them online. It’s okay.”

    Dad: “No, tell me what it’s for.”

    Me: *blushes* “It’s nothing!”

    Dad: “Tell me!”

    Mum: *jokingly* “I bet it’s for a vibrator or something.”

    (I look down, blush, and don’t reply.)

    Mum: “IT IS, ISN’T IT?!”

    Me: “[Boyfriend] bought it for me.”

    Dad: “I’m going to drill his eyes.”

    (He didn’t drill his eyes, but it’s taught my dad to be less nosy. He doesn’t ask what I need batteries or clean sheets for now.)

    Enough To Give Pregnant Pause, Part 6

    | USA | Dating, Family/Kids

    (I am just getting to know my boyfriend. We are in his room playing the Sims (a game where you create simulated people in simulated lives where they go to school, get jobs, fall in love, etc.) My boyfriend has made sims of himself and me and has been playing them for a while. His mother comes upstairs and peeks in the room to check on us.)

    Boyfriend’s Mother: “So, how is everyone?”

    (My boyfriend turns to her and announces:)

    Boyfriend: “She’s pregnant!”

    (After a second of utter mortification I hastily assured his mother that he meant in the game, and in the game only!)

    Enough To Give Pregnant Pause, Part 5
    Enough To Give Pregnant Pause, Part 4
    Enough To Give Pregnant Pause, Part 3

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