(My boyfriend and I are lying in bed.)

Boyfriend: “I’m going to love you forever. Even when we get old.”

Me: “Even when my boobs sag and touch the floor?”

Boyfriend: “We’ll get duct tape!”

(An elderly couple walks up to the window where I am cashiering for a tourist attraction.)

Husband: “I would like two senior tickets, please.”

Wife: “You don’t need to tell him you’re a senior. He can see you!”

(Due to some family issues, we never really got the wedding we wanted. It’s been bothering me, so I bring it up to my husband of three years.)

Me: “I was thinking we could renew our vows on our fifth anniversary.”

Husband: “After only five years? I was thinking fifty.”

Me: “Well, with divorce rates the way they are, five years is kind of a big deal… wait.
Fifty?!”

Husband: “Yeah. I figure you’ll be so old by then, that I can tell you there’s a minister and huge party, and you won’t know any better.”

(I’m an employee working in the bakery of a grocery store. An older man comes up to me and asks me where we keep a certain product. I show him the direction to it.)

Me: “Let me know if you need anything else.”

Customer: “Could you tell my wife I’m over here, please?”

Me: “Sure thing.”

(I go over to his wife and point out where he is.)

Customer’s Wife: “I’ll be over in a minute, buttercup!”

(The customer slowly walks over to her, kisses her on the forehead.)

Customer: “I hate when you call me that, but I will always love you.”

Me: *to customer’s wife* “That’s so sweet!”

Customer’s Wife: “I’ve been making him say that once a day for the last 53 years, ever since he said it in our vows.”

(An elderly couple comes into the store. While the husband is finishing up his shopping, the wife looks at him across the store.)

Wife: *to me* “I have to look after him as he is getting old, but it’s something I will never complain about.”

Me: “That is very sweet. How long have you been married?”

Wife: “It should have been 52 years. He was my childhood sweetheart, but it’s only 30 years. My parents wouldn’t allow the marriage, so we parted and eventually found each other again.”

(She looks at her husband very lovingly as he slowly walks up to the counter.)

Husband: “I know what that look means, and no, I’m too old. The only thing that’s going up is the bill because I just bought you more stuff!”

(They were the most amazing and hilarious couple I have ever met.)