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    Category: Golden Years

    Romance isn’t only the domain of the young. This category finds love tempered with honesty. Lots, and lots, and lots of honesty.

    Divorced From The Idea Of Marriage

    | London, England, UK | Divorce, Golden Years, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I am looking at old family photographs, especially those taken at my parents’ wedding. I can’t find any from my grandparents’ wedding, however, and I ask my grandparents where I can find some.)

    Grandmother: “Oh, you won’t find any pictures of our wedding, dear.”

    Me: “How come? Did you not have a camera back then?”

    Grandmother: “No, but your grandfather and I never actually got married.”

    Me: “What!”

    Grandfather: “We just never got around to it.”

    Me: “But Grandma! You have Grandpa’s name and everything!”

    Grandmother: “I know. It was just easier that way. Less gossip.”

    Me: “But didn’t you want to get married!”

    Grandfather: “What’s the point? I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me that I have been lucky enough to spend my life with the love of my life.”

    Me: “So you don’t believe in marriage?”

    Grandmother: “Of course we do, but marriage isn’t a requirement of love, dear.”

    Grandfather: “Exactly! Look at that ‘Brittany Clears’ fellow. Didn’t he get married for like an hour?”

    Me: “You mean Britney Spears?”

    Grandmother: “See! I told you that was his name! You never think I’m right about these things!”

    Me: “Actually, Britney Spears is a woman.”

    Grandmother: “Oh. I guess we were both wrong.”

    Grandfather: *in a sing song voice* “Ha! You were wrong! You were wrong!”

    Grandmother: “Is it possible to divorce someone you never married?”

    January Themed Story Giveaway: The Golden Years

    | Not Always Romantic | Announcements, Golden Years, Theme Of The Month
    Want to win A Not Always Romantic t-shirt?
    Enter January’s Themed Story Giveaway: The Golden Years!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about romance in the golden years! (PS: Here’s a definition of golden years)
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Romantic shop!

    PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning December’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about the holidays, Christmas, the New Year. The winning submission: Be Careful What You Christmas Wish For (319 thumbs up).

    PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, February 5!

    All I Want For Christmas…

    | Denver, CO, USA | Golden Years, Marriage & Partners, Top

    (It’s Christmas season, and I’m shopping in a department store. An elderly couple is also shopping nearby. The woman goes off to look at something in a different section. The gentleman sneezes.)

    Me: “Bless you.”

    Elderly Gentleman: *looks at his wife* “It’s already been done.”

    A Twisted Marriage

    | PA, USA | Golden Years, Marriage & Partners

    (The family is gathered around the table for Thanksgiving dinner. My mom is having an argument with my dad.)

    Mom: “And you! After thirty years, you’ve got some kind of switch that lets you shut out everything I say!”

    Dad: “Of course. Haven’t you ever seen me twist my wedding ring?”

    Loved You Since The Day I Met You

    | USA | Flirting/How We Met, Golden Years, Marriage & Partners, Top

    (My grandmother has Alzheimer’s. She often thinks she is unmarried and only in her 20s. When told otherwise, she usually responds in very humorous or sweet fashions.)

    Grandma: “He was the handsomest man!”

    Aunt: “[Grandpa] was?”

    Grandma: “Oh, yes! All the girls wanted to dance with him when he was home on leave.”

    Aunt: “You too, huh?”

    Grandma: “Me, especially!”

    Aunt: “[Grandpa], did you hear that?”

    Grandma: “Who’re you talking to?”

    Aunt: “Your husband!”

    Grandma: “[Grandpa]?”

    Aunt: “Yeah! Your husband!”

    Grandma: *scoffing* “I wish!”

    Aunt: “Well, go in the next room and see, if you don’t believe me. He’s watching the ball game.”

    Grandma: “[Grandpa]?”

    Grandpa: “Yeah? Whad’ya want?”

    (Grandma then rushes into the other room and throws herself into his lap for a kiss. She was so happy she couldn’t stop laughing and neither could the rest of us.)


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