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    Category: LGBTQ

    We are family: all my brothers, sisters and me. This category is for all our LGBTQ friends who show that love knows no bounds.

    Reading The Situation Wrong

    | Seattle, WA, USA | LGBTQ, Marriage & Partners

    (I am female. My wife can get sort of loopy when she is tired. Many nights, she falls asleep while holding a book, and gets upset when I try to take it away or wake her up. This night, however, she isn’t reading, she just falls asleep early.)

    Me: “Hey, sweetie. Wake up. We need to brush our teeth and stuff.”

    Wife: *as she wakes up* “READING! I’m still reading!”

    Me: “Um… no you weren’t.”

    Wife: “WHERE’S MY BOOK?”

    (She starts patting the bed and frantically searching, so I hand her a book from the shelf.)

    Me: “Um, here, but we need to brush our teeth.”

    Wife: *accusingly* “I. Am. READING!”

    Don’t Let That Butterfly Flutter By

    | Cornelius, OR, USA | Flirting/How We Met, LGBTQ, Top

    (I’m on the phone with my friend, who is a very confident person and is able to get any guy that comes her way. Today is different.)

    Friend: “Hey, [My Name], um… I need your help.”

    (She sounds very nervous about something, so instantly I’m worried.)

    Me: “Okay, hun, what’s wrong?”

    Friend: “So… you know that friend of mine, [Female Friend]? Um… she… kind of confessed her feelings to me. As in… she says she’s in love with me.”

    Me: “Oh…”

    Friend: “What do I do?!”

    Me: “Well, do you like her back?”

    Friend: “I… I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it.”

    Me: “Well, it’s time to think about it now. Think about making out. If you feel sick, then it’s a no. If you feel nothing, it means you might be curious. If you feel butterflies then you might want to say yes to a date.”

    (My friend is silent for a few moments as she thinks about it.)

    Friend: “S***. I think I have to ask her out.”

    (They’ve been together for nearly five years now.)

    Same-Sex Of Humor

    | CA, USA | Dating, LGBTQ

    (I am in a same-sex relationship and have just applied for a teaching job at a private Catholic high school in my area. While I am a confirmed Catholic, I’m researching whether or not I can be open about my sexuality should I work at the school. I find the student handbook and stumble across the dress code.)

    Me: “Huh. I guess that male students have to be clean-shaven. They’re allowed sideburns, but only above the ear.”

    (My girlfriend is out of the room as I announce this, so I just assume she hasn’t heard me until she walks back in.)

    Girlfriend: “So I heard a little bit of what you were saying. That must mean you’d have to be out if you taught there.”

    Me: “Wait, what do you mean I’d have to be out? What are you talking about?”

    Girlfriend: “Well, you can’t have a beard!”

    (I proceeded to put my face in my hands as my girlfriend gleefully cavorted around the apartment, extremely proud of her joke.)

    Roommates Can Be A Drag

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Dating, LGBTQ

    (I am doing laundry at my girlfriend’s house that she shares with her gay male roommate. When I go to use the dryer I need to move a load of laundry from the dryer to a laundry basket nearby. On top of the pile is a really fancy bra and panty set, not the sort of thing she usually wears. I take the basket upstairs for her.)

    Me: “So why haven’t I ever seen you wear that?”

    Girlfriend:“Wear what?”

    (I point to the suspicious undergarments.)

    Girlfriend: “That isn’t my laundry. [Roommate] had a drag show on the weekend.”

    Me: “Oh.”

    Girlfriend: *picks up a really skimpy dress* “Did you really think I would wear something like this?”

    They’re So Dream A Dreamy

    | London, England, UK | Flirting/How We Met, LGBTQ

    (I am in a bar with my friends, and I see a girl that looks really cute, but I am not sure if she is gay. After a few drink, I decide to go up to her. I am in a ‘Les Mis’ mood.)

    Me: *singing* “A heart full of love. A heart full of song. I’m doing everything all wrong! Oh, God, for shame. I do not even know your name. Dear mademoiselle, won’t you say? Won’t you tell?”

    Her: *singing* “A heart full of love. No fear. No regret.”

    Me: *singing* “My name is [My Name].”

    Her: *singing* “And mine’s [Her Name].”

    Me: *singing* “[Her Name], I don’t know what to say.”

    Her: *normal* “Marry me. No one ever gets to that part.”

    (We’ve been dating for a year now.)


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