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  • Very Soppy Soup
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  • Category: LGBTQ

    We are family: all my brothers, sisters and me. This category is for all our LGBTQ friends who show that love knows no bounds.

    Very Four-ward

    | AB, Canada | Flirting/How We Met, LGBTQ

    (I am at a house party where the attendees are mostly from my school, which is a very accepting school with a large LGBT+ population. A male stranger from a different school is present, and my classmate and I decide to make friendly conversation with him. Two of our other female classmates, who are dating each other, have just arrived.)

    Me: “Hey, there’s [Couple's Names].”

    Stranger: “Who are they?”

    Friend: “They go to school with us. They’re dating.”

    Stranger: “They’re DATING? That’s awesome.”

    (A few minutes later, we are discussing sexual orientation.)

    Stranger: “So you’re gay?”

    Me: “Not totally gay, but gay enough. I’m bisexual.”

    Stranger: “That’s cool! Have you ever talked to [Couple's Names] about having a threesome?”

    (I am shocked at how rude and presumptuous this question is, but I attempt to keep my cool.)

    Me: “Um, no. I actually have a girlfriend.”

    Stranger: “Oh, cool. So, like a foursome, then?”

    (I stand in silence for a few moments.)

    Me: “All right, I need a drink.”

    A Whole New State Of Panic

    | Dubuque, IA, USA | Dating, LGBTQ

    (I am in a polyamorous relationship. My boyfriend loves driving and going new places. Earlier this day, I took a Benadryl for allergies and ended up falling asleep immediately after a late dinner. When I wake up six hours later, it’s two in the morning, and neither of my partners are home. Concerned, I check my texts.)

    Girlfriend: *sent an hour earlier* “We drove to Minnesota.”

    Me: “Holy f***, seriously?”

    (When they got home soon after, it turned out they’d just started driving and then kept going when they realized they’d ended up five minutes from Minnesota.)

    Till Undeath(s) Do Us Part

    | Dubuque, IA, USA | Dating, LGBTQ

    (I’m in a polyamorous relationship. I ask both my boyfriend and my girlfriend what they would do if I was bitten by a zombie.)

    Boyfriend: *without hesitation* “I would shoot you squarely in the face then double tap just to be sure.”

    Girlfriend: “I have the worst zombie plan ever. I would let you bite me.”

    Me: “I hope you’re prepared to kill both of us, then.”

    Boyfriend: “Yes, I have rehearsed this many times.”

    Related:
    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 38
    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 37
    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 36

    Might Have To Come Out A Little Further

    | USA | Dating, Fights/Breakups, LGBTQ

    (I have recently figured out that I am a lesbian, and I am dating a man at the time. I break the news to him and this ensued:)

    Me: “I think I’m a lesbian.”

    Boyfriend: “So, what are you saying? Do you still want to date or what? We could stay together while you figure things out.”

    (I’ve been very delicate this entire time, mentioning twice that I’m a lesbian.)

    Me: “Okay, hun. I just told you I’m a lesbian. Put two and two together.”

    Boyfriend: “So does this mean we’re not together?”

    I Got 99 Problems But A Girl Ain’t One

    | Australia | Dating, LGBTQ

    (I’m a bisexual woman, and I recently started dating a man who is not the stereotypical image of ‘manly.’)

    Boyfriend: “Yeah, I had all my man-cards revoked years ago!”

    Me: “How far in the negatives do you think you might be?”

    Boyfriend: “Probably negative 99.”

    Me: “Ha! Is that because that’s where it maxes out?”

    Boyfriend: *fake sad* “Aww…”

    Me: “It’s fine, babe… You know I like girls.”

    Boyfriend: *bursts out laughing* “Aww!”


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