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    Category: LGBTQ

    We are family: all my brothers, sisters and me. This category is for all our LGBTQ friends who show that love knows no bounds.

    Till Undeath(s) Do Us Part

    | Dubuque, IA, USA | Dating, LGBTQ

    (I’m in a polyamorous relationship. I ask both my boyfriend and my girlfriend what they would do if I was bitten by a zombie.)

    Boyfriend: *without hesitation* “I would shoot you squarely in the face then double tap just to be sure.”

    Girlfriend: “I have the worst zombie plan ever. I would let you bite me.”

    Me: “I hope you’re prepared to kill both of us, then.”

    Boyfriend: “Yes, I have rehearsed this many times.”

    Related:
    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 38
    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 37
    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 36

    Might Have To Come Out A Little Further

    | USA | Dating, Fights/Breakups, LGBTQ

    (I have recently figured out that I am a lesbian, and I am dating a man at the time. I break the news to him and this ensued:)

    Me: “I think I’m a lesbian.”

    Boyfriend: “So, what are you saying? Do you still want to date or what? We could stay together while you figure things out.”

    (I’ve been very delicate this entire time, mentioning twice that I’m a lesbian.)

    Me: “Okay, hun. I just told you I’m a lesbian. Put two and two together.”

    Boyfriend: “So does this mean we’re not together?”

    I Got 99 Problems But A Girl Ain’t One

    | Australia | Dating, LGBTQ

    (I’m a bisexual woman, and I recently started dating a man who is not the stereotypical image of ‘manly.’)

    Boyfriend: “Yeah, I had all my man-cards revoked years ago!”

    Me: “How far in the negatives do you think you might be?”

    Boyfriend: “Probably negative 99.”

    Me: “Ha! Is that because that’s where it maxes out?”

    Boyfriend: *fake sad* “Aww…”

    Me: “It’s fine, babe… You know I like girls.”

    Boyfriend: *bursts out laughing* “Aww!”

    The Nerve Of Some People

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Dating, LGBTQ

    (My boyfriend is transgender and sometimes wears a ‘packer,’ or prosthetic penis, as part of his gender expression. We are lying in bed snuggling and I start smooching him and grabbing his crotch.)

    Boyfriend: “I have NO idea why it feels so good when you do that. That thing doesn’t even have any nerve endings!”

    Me: “Because I’m touching you in a way that is simultaneously respectful and stimulating to both your physical anatomy and your gender identity?”

    Boyfriend: “Oh. Oh, yeah! When you put it that way, no wonder it’s so hot!”

    A Charitable (In)experience

    | Australia | Dating, LGBTQ

    (I’ve just discovered an article about gay men being asked to draw lady parts. Note: we haven’t slept together yet and my boyfriend is very inexperienced.)

    Me: “Hey, check this out.”

    Boyfriend: *laughing* “This is hilarious.”

    Me: “They even have a campaign to fund a picture book!”

    Boyfriend: “Would it be weird if I contributed to this?”

    Me: “You totally could! You haven’t seen enough yet.”

    Boyfriend: “I meant donating money…”

    Me: “I honestly didn’t think of that.”


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