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    Category: LGBTQ

    We are family: all my brothers, sisters and me. This category is for all our LGBTQ friends who show that love knows no bounds.

    Atypically Asexual

    | ON, Canada | Dating, LGBTQ

    (I am very involved in sexual orientation as I am a guidance counselor at a local college who often assists with identifying. I myself identify as asexual, and am very passionate about the LGBT+ world. My boyfriend and I are attending a party where we are talking to another couple after they have learned I’m asexual.)

    Woman: “But how do you have a boyfriend? If you don’t like anyone, how can you date?”

    Me: “Well, actually—”

    Boyfriend: “—asexuality is not having sexual attraction. She is romantically attracted to me, but she has no desire to engage in sexual activity with me.”

    (This is what I always say, word for word. He calmly takes a sip of wine, and sees me staring at him.)

    Boyfriend: “What?”

    Me: “How’d you know what I was going to say?”

    Boyfriend: “You’ve been saying the same thing for the past two years anytime someone asks.”

    Me: “I’m going to have to change it up.”

    Seriously Dude

    | Bremerton, WA, USA | Dating, LGBTQ

    (I am a woman in an open relationship with two men. I’ve been dating Boyfriend #1, who is openly polyamorous, for four years. I’ve been with Boyfriend #2, who isn’t poly, for two years, but he is okay with me dating Boyfriend #1. They’ve known each other for longer than either has known me. The following happens while discussing my future plans with Boyfriend #2. When we first got together, he admitted to being jealous of Boyfriend #1.)

    Me: “Well, I remember you saying before that you’d rather we be monogamous if we got more serious…”

    Boyfriend #2: “No, that’s dumb. I have exactly zero hard feelings for [Boyfriend #1] and I’m way over that. If you decide to fly across the country and bang it out with him for the weekend, I don’t blame you.”

    Me: “Seriously?”

    Boyfriend #2: “No jealousy, not anymore. More of a ‘huh. Okay, did you have fun?’ thing. If I swung that way, I’d do the same!”

    Me: *texting Boyfriend #1* “Congrats you’re [Boyfriend #2]’s ‘if I had to pick a dude.'”

    Boyfriend #1: “If I swung that way, I’d let him!”

    Very Four-ward

    | AB, Canada | Flirting/How We Met, LGBTQ

    (I am at a house party where the attendees are mostly from my school, which is a very accepting school with a large LGBT+ population. A male stranger from a different school is present, and my classmate and I decide to make friendly conversation with him. Two of our other female classmates, who are dating each other, have just arrived.)

    Me: “Hey, there’s [Couple’s Names].”

    Stranger: “Who are they?”

    Friend: “They go to school with us. They’re dating.”

    Stranger: “They’re DATING? That’s awesome.”

    (A few minutes later, we are discussing sexual orientation.)

    Stranger: “So you’re gay?”

    Me: “Not totally gay, but gay enough. I’m bisexual.”

    Stranger: “That’s cool! Have you ever talked to [Couple’s Names] about having a threesome?”

    (I am shocked at how rude and presumptuous this question is, but I attempt to keep my cool.)

    Me: “Um, no. I actually have a girlfriend.”

    Stranger: “Oh, cool. So, like a foursome, then?”

    (I stand in silence for a few moments.)

    Me: “All right, I need a drink.”

    A Whole New State Of Panic

    | Dubuque, IA, USA | Dating, LGBTQ

    (I am in a polyamorous relationship. My boyfriend loves driving and going new places. Earlier this day, I took a Benadryl for allergies and ended up falling asleep immediately after a late dinner. When I wake up six hours later, it’s two in the morning, and neither of my partners are home. Concerned, I check my texts.)

    Girlfriend: *sent an hour earlier* “We drove to Minnesota.”

    Me: “Holy f***, seriously?”

    (When they got home soon after, it turned out they’d just started driving and then kept going when they realized they’d ended up five minutes from Minnesota.)

    Till Undeath(s) Do Us Part

    | Dubuque, IA, USA | Dating, LGBTQ

    (I’m in a polyamorous relationship. I ask both my boyfriend and my girlfriend what they would do if I was bitten by a zombie.)

    Boyfriend: *without hesitation* “I would shoot you squarely in the face then double tap just to be sure.”

    Girlfriend: “I have the worst zombie plan ever. I would let you bite me.”

    Me: “I hope you’re prepared to kill both of us, then.”

    Boyfriend: “Yes, I have rehearsed this many times.”

    Related:
    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 38
    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 37
    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 36


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