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    Category: LGBTQ

    We are family: all my brothers, sisters and me. This category is for all our LGBTQ friends who show that love knows no bounds.

    Butching About You

    | CA, USA | Engaged, LGBTQ

     

    (My fiancée and I are both women, but while she is very feminine, I am very masculine. Today, she has gotten a haircut and dye job done, and she is very happy with it.)

    Me: “Have you taken a picture of you with your new haircut for Instagram?”

    Fiancée: “No, not yet.”

    Me: “Well, you should. Because that’s what you do. You’re a basic b****.”

    Fiancée: “Yeah, I know.”

    Me: “I can’t be a basic b****, though. I’m too masculine.”

    Fiancée: “That’s true. You can’t be.”

    Me: “So what would you call me, then?”

    Fiancée: “A basic butch.”

    Atypically Asexual

    | ON, Canada | Dating, LGBTQ

    (I am very involved in sexual orientation as I am a guidance counselor at a local college who often assists with identifying. I myself identify as asexual, and am very passionate about the LGBT+ world. My boyfriend and I are attending a party where we are talking to another couple after they have learned I’m asexual.)

    Woman: “But how do you have a boyfriend? If you don’t like anyone, how can you date?”

    Me: “Well, actually—”

    Boyfriend: “—asexuality is not having sexual attraction. She is romantically attracted to me, but she has no desire to engage in sexual activity with me.”

    (This is what I always say, word for word. He calmly takes a sip of wine, and sees me staring at him.)

    Boyfriend: “What?”

    Me: “How’d you know what I was going to say?”

    Boyfriend: “You’ve been saying the same thing for the past two years anytime someone asks.”

    Me: “I’m going to have to change it up.”

    Seriously Dude

    | Bremerton, WA, USA | Dating, LGBTQ

    (I am a woman in an open relationship with two men. I’ve been dating Boyfriend #1, who is openly polyamorous, for four years. I’ve been with Boyfriend #2, who isn’t poly, for two years, but he is okay with me dating Boyfriend #1. They’ve known each other for longer than either has known me. The following happens while discussing my future plans with Boyfriend #2. When we first got together, he admitted to being jealous of Boyfriend #1.)

    Me: “Well, I remember you saying before that you’d rather we be monogamous if we got more serious…”

    Boyfriend #2: “No, that’s dumb. I have exactly zero hard feelings for [Boyfriend #1] and I’m way over that. If you decide to fly across the country and bang it out with him for the weekend, I don’t blame you.”

    Me: “Seriously?”

    Boyfriend #2: “No jealousy, not anymore. More of a ‘huh. Okay, did you have fun?’ thing. If I swung that way, I’d do the same!”

    Me: *texting Boyfriend #1* “Congrats you’re [Boyfriend #2]’s ‘if I had to pick a dude.'”

    Boyfriend #1: “If I swung that way, I’d let him!”

    Very Four-ward

    | AB, Canada | Flirting/How We Met, LGBTQ

    (I am at a house party where the attendees are mostly from my school, which is a very accepting school with a large LGBT+ population. A male stranger from a different school is present, and my classmate and I decide to make friendly conversation with him. Two of our other female classmates, who are dating each other, have just arrived.)

    Me: “Hey, there’s [Couple’s Names].”

    Stranger: “Who are they?”

    Friend: “They go to school with us. They’re dating.”

    Stranger: “They’re DATING? That’s awesome.”

    (A few minutes later, we are discussing sexual orientation.)

    Stranger: “So you’re gay?”

    Me: “Not totally gay, but gay enough. I’m bisexual.”

    Stranger: “That’s cool! Have you ever talked to [Couple’s Names] about having a threesome?”

    (I am shocked at how rude and presumptuous this question is, but I attempt to keep my cool.)

    Me: “Um, no. I actually have a girlfriend.”

    Stranger: “Oh, cool. So, like a foursome, then?”

    (I stand in silence for a few moments.)

    Me: “All right, I need a drink.”

    A Whole New State Of Panic

    | Dubuque, IA, USA | Dating, LGBTQ

    (I am in a polyamorous relationship. My boyfriend loves driving and going new places. Earlier this day, I took a Benadryl for allergies and ended up falling asleep immediately after a late dinner. When I wake up six hours later, it’s two in the morning, and neither of my partners are home. Concerned, I check my texts.)

    Girlfriend: *sent an hour earlier* “We drove to Minnesota.”

    Me: “Holy f***, seriously?”

    (When they got home soon after, it turned out they’d just started driving and then kept going when they realized they’d ended up five minutes from Minnesota.)


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