(My partner and I are both male and geeks. I am making jokes, comparing us and a girl he knows, to popular fan couples of various series. We are both fairly masculine. We do not believe in the ‘one is the male, the other female’ roles, but my partner is often referred as the girl in the relationship.)

Me: “Okay, I’m Riku, you’re Sora, and [girl] is Xehanort.”

Partner: “Nah.”

Me: “Okay, I’m Peter Parker, you’re Mary Jane, and [girl] is Harry Osborn.”

Partner: “Why am I the girl?”

Me: “Fine, I’m Homura, you’re Madoka, and [girl] is Kyubey. Notice, while we’re both girls in this one, you’re the more feminine one.”

Partner: “HEY!”

Me: “I hate all these new boy bands. Even their names are cheesy. One Direction; what type of name is that?”

Fiancé: “One Direction… that reminds me of New Directions.”

Me: “Seriously? A Glee Reference? You’ve been making a few too many of those lately. You’re starting to have me worried. Do you have something you need to tell me?”

Fiancé: “What? It’s an awesome show.”

Me: “Okay, but it’s becoming your thing. I think you might be gay, love. It’s okay; you can tell me.”

Fiancé: “I love you!”

(A few days later, we are listening to a bunch of random music…)

Fiancé: “Is it sad that most of these songs are reminding me of Glee?”

Me: “No. It just means you’re gay.”

Fiancé: “I can just picture Shuester singing ‘Bust a Move’ right now.”

Me: “I wish I had never introduced you to that show. At least I know that I’m marrying a gay man.”

Fiancé: “Vanilla Ice, Ice, Baby!”

(A few days later, and we’re messaging online…)

Me: “I love you.”

Fiancé: “I lgbt you, too.”

Me: “You’re gay?! I knew it!”

Fiancé: “Autocorrect! I already have a hard enough time proving I’m straight to my future wife.”

Me: “It’s okay. You don’t have to go back into the closet. I still love you.”

(We are a same sex couple. Neither I nor my partner celebrate romantic holidays. On the way home from work on Valentine’s Day, I stop and buy a small box of the candy hearts that we used to get as kids. I toss them to him when I come in the house.)
 
Me: “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
 
Partner: “So, you decided to celebrate and mock the occasion at the same time?”
 
Me: “Yep.”
 
Partner: “And that’s why I love you.”

(For my 21st birthday, my boyfriend, who hates dancing, agrees to go out with a few friends to a club. The club that I have picked is a known gay club, and my boyfriend is a bit iffy about going. When we get there, we notice that there are three, almost naked male go-go dancers.)

Me: “Wow, I didn’t know that they were going to have go-go dancers here!”

Boyfriend: “Well, they look pretty cut.”

(My boyfriend wanders off to talk to one of the dancers. After a minute or two, he pulls a dollar bill out and tips one of them before wandering back.)

Me: “…Did you just tip him?”

Boyfriend: “Well, to be fair, he is pretty hot.”

Me: “Do I need to worry about losing you to a guy?”

Boyfriend: “If they all looked like them, maybe.”

(I’m a lesbian, and have anxiety issues. My girlfriend and I are eight hours apart at different law schools. We’re also very broke. She’s makes dinner.)

Girlfriend: “Tacos are up! I saved a packet of that hot sauce you like from Taco Bell to go with these homemade ones. Look in the fridge.”

Me: “Okay!”

(I find the sauce packet and take it out without looking at it.)

Girlfriend: “Wait, read what it says. They put little messages on them.”

(Instead of a funny quip, it says ‘will you marry me?’. I start crying and hyperventilating – I wasn’t expecting it for another year at least.)

Girlfriend: “I can’t afford a ring, and it’s not legal for us yet. But I know what I want. Just you; for the rest of my life. I don’t even care that you live so far away. It doesn’t even matter if you’re panicking right now. Just breathe! And think about it.”

(I eventually calmed down and said yes!)