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    Category: Marriage & Partners

    Love is blind, but marriage is the eye-opener.

    Cheating Them Out Of A Decent Fight

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My partner and I are very honest and trust each other. Neither of us are the jealous types, but we have fun pretending to be one.)

    Partner: *texting someone*

    Me: “I don’t understand people who have to regularly check their partner’s phones.”

    Partner: “For what?”

    Me: “Evidence of cheating.”

    Partner: “That’s ridiculous.”

    Me: *sarcastically* “Who are you cheating on me with?!” *grabs his phone and checks his texts*

    Partner: “Oh yeah?!” *he takes my phone and checks my chatting app*

    (After about a minute of checking his phone, I throw his phone back to him.)

    Me: “All I learned was that you’re cheating on me with me.”

    Partner: *throws my phone back at me* “Yeah, this really is ridiculous.”

    That’s MY Spider Man

    | Portland, OR, USA | Marriage & Partners, Themed Giveaway

    (During the recent ‘Snowpocalypse,’ while I caught a bus home my partner stayed awake to keep in touch, making sure I got there safely in the icy conditions. The next day, I read on Facebook that he’d been woken by a spider falling onto his face shortly after I got home and signed off for the night! Therefore, the following IM conversation…)

    Me: “Hey there, gorgeous. I hope you made it work safely and all. So very sorry to read about the spider. That would’ve been awful!”

    Me: “And it was only half an hour or less after you got back to sleep, too… So much sympathy!”

    Partner: “Yeah. I’m just glad it didn’t fall on your face.”

    Me: “Are you saying you’d take a spider to the face for my sake? That’s really sweet, in a somewhat bewildering way…”

    Partner: “More or less. It was the first thing I thought of once the terror faded. That if you’d been there, it would have landed on your face and I was glad you’d left so you could be spared that…”

    Me: “That… is horrifyingly sweet and lovely of you. You poor thing; I adore you.”

    (He didn’t even kill it, or throw it out into the snow, just shuffled it out of the way where it wouldn’t bother him and went back to sleep. Such a sweet guy: loved by me, and friend to spiders!)

    Their Love Hit Pay Dirt

    | VA, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband is flipping through the radio channels. We hear the lyrics ‘talk dirty to me.’)

    Husband: *looks at me* “Dirty, filth, mud…”

    Me: “Laundry.”

    Together: “Dishes”

    Husband: “We’ve been married too long.”

    I’m Head Over Heels For You

    | UK | Marriage & Partners, Themed Giveaway

    Wife: “I really love you. I wish I could put your head in a bag so I could take it with me and look at you whenever I wanted…”

    How To Shave Your Relationship, Part 2

    | UK | Marriage & Partners, Themed Giveaway

    (I have recently been growing a beard which just happens to make me resemble a famous actor.)

    Wife: “I really need to remember the name of that actor.”

    Me: “How come?”

    Wife: “So I know who to fantasize about next time we have sex.”

    Me: “You’re so sweet, dear.”

    How To Shave Your Relationship

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