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  • Not In A Rush To Have Another One
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  • Category: Marriage & Partners

    Love is blind, but marriage is the eye-opener.

    A Special Spot In The Sky

    | Kensington, England, UK | Marriage & Partners

    (It’s my wife’s and my two-year anniversary and I want to make a huge romantic gesture. I hire a skywriter to write ‘I love Agnes.’ We are walking when I point it out.)

    Me: “Hey, look!”

    Wife: “Oh! A skywriter!”

    Me: “For you.”

    Wife: “Aww! So romantic! ‘I… love… A… ACNE?”

    Not Feline The Love

    | Canada | Marriage & Partners, Theme Of The Month

    (My husband walks into my office.)

    Husband: “I love you.”

    Me: “Love you, too.”

    Husband: “I love you.”

    Me: “Uh-huh.”

    Husband: “I loooooove you.”

    Me: “…you’re hungry, aren’t you?”

    Husband: “It works for the cats.”

    A Fiendishly Simple Plot

    | WI, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I will often eat our meals in the bedroom, though we are always sure to clean up after ourselves. One night, I set my empty chili bowl on the bedside table and forget it until nearly bedtime.)

    Husband: “Hey, why is there a chili bowl on the table?”

    Me: “Oh, because I left it there.”

    Husband: “You fiend! How could you do that?”

    Me: “Quite easily. In fact, it took no effort.”

    Husband: “You lazy fiend!”

    Wine Of Future Past

    | TX, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I am talking to my wife about supplies for dinner.)

    Me: “So, what do I need to get? Chicken, garlic, there’s wine in the fridge…”

    Wife: “No, there’s not.”

    Me: “The WAS wine in the fridge.”

    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 12

    | Avon, NY, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I are lying in bed and I have been making zerbert/raspberry ‘fart’ noises on his neck. We have only been married a couple of weeks. After a few minutes of being silly, I am ready to get up and be productive.)

    Me: “Okay, honey, time to get up. Can I ‘fart’ on you one more time?”

    Husband: “No, let’s fart together! It will be more romantic.” *grabs me and pulls me on top of him*

    (He has not been doing zerberts/raspberries on me, so I am momentarily confused. Then, he lets a real one rip.)

    Me: *too stunned to do anything* “What was that?”

    Husband: “A fart. Did I do it too soon?”

    Me: *starts laughing*

    Husband: *confused* “What?”

    Me: “Did you just real fart?”

    Husband: *catching on* “Oh… you didn’t mean that?”

    Me: *still laughing* “No! I meant the raspberry farts I was doing on your neck!”

    Husband: “…oh.” *a little embarrassed* “I thought it’d be romantic.”

    Me: “To fart together? You saved all you weird for when we got married, didn’t you?”

    Husband: *dejected* “I still think it would’ve been romantic…”

    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 11
    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 10
    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 9

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