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    Category: Marriage & Partners

    Love is blind, but marriage is the eye-opener.

    Not Quite Singing You Praises

    | South Africa | Marriage & Partners

    (We just got home, and my partner puts on some music. I give him a questioning look.)

    Partner: “It’s too quiet.”

    Me: ‘But I can sing for you!”

    Partner: “You can’t sing.”

    (I feel a bit hurt and pout, pulling my top lower to expose more cleavage.)

    Me: “How dare you say that to the owner of these boobs you love!”

    (He reaches out and grabs them both.)

    Partner: “Luckily your boobs can’t sing either.”

    The Naked Truth, Part 2

    | CO, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (It’s morning and we’ve just woken up. After brushing my teeth, I walk back into the bedroom.)

    Husband: “You’re naked!”

    Me: “Uh huh.”

    Husband: “Your body is cute.”

    Me: *mock offended* “Cute?”

    Husband: “Yeah. Cute, and attractive. Cute because I can grab you and go ‘squeeee!’ Attractive because I can immediately start boning you after that.”

    Related:
    The Naked Truth

    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 7

    | Galveston, TX, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I’ve just said something pretty silly and corny. My husband gets right in my face, shaking his head ‘no.’ I turn my head side-to-side so our noses brush.)

    Me: “Eskimo kisses?”

    (He then takes a lunge at my nose as if to bite it.)

    Me: “Zombie kisses?”

    Related:
    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 6
    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 5
    Love In The Time Of Zombies: Christmas Special
    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 4
    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 3
    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 2
    Love In The Time Of Zombies

    He Should Do Stand Up

    | UT, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (While making dinner, I leave the upper cabinet doors open so I can access my spices. My husband is bent over putting away some pots in the lower cabinets.)

    Me: “Honey, don’t stand up.”

    Husband: “Because I’m not the Real Slim Shady?”

    Let’s Park This For Another Time

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I am walking down a grocery aisle when I overhear this exchange from another couple.)

    Man: “Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is not enough when you hit a parked car.”

    Woman: “She was sitting behind the wheel. She should have moved!”


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