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  • Not In A Rush To Have Another One
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  • Category: Marriage & Partners

    Love is blind, but marriage is the eye-opener.

    A Special Spot In The Sky

    | Kensington, England, UK | Marriage & Partners

    (It’s my wife’s and my two-year anniversary and I want to make a huge romantic gesture. I hire a skywriter to write ‘I love Agnes.’ We are walking when I point it out.)

    Me: “Hey, look!”

    Wife: “Oh! A skywriter!”

    Me: “For you.”

    Wife: “Aww! So romantic! ‘I… love… A… ACNE?”

    Not Feline The Love

    | Canada | Marriage & Partners, Theme Of The Month

    (My husband walks into my office.)

    Husband: “I love you.”

    Me: “Love you, too.”

    Husband: “I love you.”

    Me: “Uh-huh.”

    Husband: “I loooooove you.”

    Me: “…you’re hungry, aren’t you?”

    Husband: “It works for the cats.”

    A Fiendishly Simple Plot

    | WI, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I will often eat our meals in the bedroom, though we are always sure to clean up after ourselves. One night, I set my empty chili bowl on the bedside table and forget it until nearly bedtime.)

    Husband: “Hey, why is there a chili bowl on the table?”

    Me: “Oh, because I left it there.”

    Husband: “You fiend! How could you do that?”

    Me: “Quite easily. In fact, it took no effort.”

    Husband: “You lazy fiend!”

    Wine Of Future Past

    | TX, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I am talking to my wife about supplies for dinner.)

    Me: “So, what do I need to get? Chicken, garlic, there’s wine in the fridge…”

    Wife: “No, there’s not.”

    Me: “The WAS wine in the fridge.”

    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 12

    | Avon, NY, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I are lying in bed and I have been making zerbert/raspberry ‘fart’ noises on his neck. We have only been married a couple of weeks. After a few minutes of being silly, I am ready to get up and be productive.)

    Me: “Okay, honey, time to get up. Can I ‘fart’ on you one more time?”

    Husband: “No, let’s fart together! It will be more romantic.” *grabs me and pulls me on top of him*

    (He has not been doing zerberts/raspberries on me, so I am momentarily confused. Then, he lets a real one rip.)

    Me: *too stunned to do anything* “What was that?”

    Husband: “A fart. Did I do it too soon?”

    Me: *starts laughing*

    Husband: *confused* “What?”

    Me: “Did you just real fart?”

    Husband: *catching on* “Oh… you didn’t mean that?”

    Me: *still laughing* “No! I meant the raspberry farts I was doing on your neck!”

    Husband: “…oh.” *a little embarrassed* “I thought it’d be romantic.”

    Me: “To fart together? You saved all you weird for when we got married, didn’t you?”

    Husband: *dejected* “I still think it would’ve been romantic…”

    Related:
    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 11
    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 10
    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 9


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