• Writing A Good Bromance
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    Category: Marriage & Partners

    Love is blind, but marriage is the eye-opener.

    Writing A Good Bromance

    | NJ, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and his best friend are very close but most of their conversations involve a lot of mocking and sarcasm. This conversation takes place as I am listening to my husband talk on the phone to his friend. The friend got engaged an hour before this conversation and is asking my husband to be his best man.)

    Husband: “Of course. I’m so happy for you guys.” *pause while he listens* “Okay, yeah. I’ll see you next week.” *pause* “Okay. Yeah, I love you, too. Bye.”

    (He hangs up. He looks over to see me staring at him bug-eyed.)

    Husband: “What?”

    Me: “Did you guys just casually say ‘I love you?'”

    Husband: “Yeah…”

    Me: “Do you do that often?”

    Husband: “Sometimes. When we have a meaningful emotional conversation.”

    Me: “When do you do that? I’ve never heard you do that!”

    Husband: “When it’s just the two of us! I don’t know! Why are you making fun of me?!”

    Me: “I’m not making fun of you. That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

    Husband: “Shut up.”

    Me: “You looooooovvve each other!”

    Husband: *blushing and running out of the room* “Shut uuuuuupppp!”

    Not Fit For Purpose

    | Canada | Marriage & Partners

    (I am a trans-masculine person with a disability and my partner is agender. We are chatting over Skype while they go for a 5 km run.)

    Partner: “I’ll complete the marathon first, but one day we’re doing one together, okay? You have the potential too!”

    Me: “Oh, god! You’re going to make me into fit shape, aren’t you?”

    Partner: *evil grin emoji* “YES! I will objectify my boyfriend! He will have no breasts and washboard abs!”

    Me: “Yet… I do want that for myself…”

    Partner: “Then we’ll get it together! You have issues with your legs, not your stomach! CRUNCHES NOW!”

    Me: “I did sit ups already today. SO, HA! I’m slightly one step ahead of YOU!”

    An Accident Waiting (And Waiting) To Happen

    | NJ, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I have been having a stressful few months, culminating in a particularly stressful move. We are not having a great time but we are trying to stay positive for each other. We are cooking dinner and I am chopping vegetables.)

    Me: “Yelp.”

    Husband: “What? What happened? Did you cut yourself?”

    Me: “No I’m okay, I just scraped my fingernail with the knife and I startled myself. I’m fine.”

    Husband: “Okay, be careful! Please don’t cut your finger off right now.”

    Me: “Yeah, this wouldn’t be a good time to have an injury on top of everything else.”

    Husband: “Yeah, babe, you can go to the emergency room as many times as you want in August, but this month is booked.”

    This Is The Wife You Are Looking For

    | Streamwood, IL, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband is a huge ‘Star Wars’ fan. We are watching ‘Criminal Minds’ and we’re at the point in this episode where the local sheriff tells his son to go gather up the football team to help the search party.)

    Me: *without missing a beat, in a whiny voice* “But Uncle Owen, I wanted to go into Tosche Station and pick up some power converters!”

    Husband: “Best. Wife. Ever!”

    One Foot In Reality

    | Umea, Sweden | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband has an early shift in the morning, and he usually struggles to get to sleep, but I have convinced him to go to bed at a decent time. I’m lying next to him reading when he suddenly shifts into a position that makes him snore horribly, to the point where I’m worried he is hurting himself. I carefully nudge him to make him turn over.)

    Husband: *waking up* “Huh? What’s going on?”

    Me: “I’m sorry; you were snoring. I just tried to make you turn.”

    (My husband grunts and walks off to the bathroom. I go into the kitchen for a glass of water. After a minute, he comes in and gives me a hug.)

    Me: “I am really sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up… I just wanted to make you turn over.”

    Husband: “It’s okay. I would have woken up anyway.”

    (We head back to bed and I start rubbing his feet to make him relax and go back to sleep.)

    Husband: “Mmmh… I wish it felt this good when doing it to yourself.”

    Me: “I know, right?”

    Husband: “But nobody would get any work done.”


    Husband: *sleepily* “It feels like it’s in the US Navy.”

    Me: *confused* “I… uh… wha…? Your foot feels like it’s in the US Navy?”

    Husband: *happily* “Yeah!”

    Me: *straining to contain laughter* “Are you asleep already?”

    Husband: *lifting his head to look at me, while forcefully stating* “I am most definitely awake!”

    Me: *chuckling* “Oookay… I’ll just ask you what that’s supposed to mean in the morning then, shall I?”

    Husband: *smiles contently and snuggles back down into the pillows*

    (The next morning I text him.)

    Me: “So, uh, what does it feel like to have your foot in the US Navy?”

    Husband: “What the h***?”

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