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    Category: Marriage & Partners

    Love is blind, but marriage is the eye-opener.

    He’s Especially Good At Articulating

    | Gaston, NC, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My dad & I are driving from Maryland to Georgia. I send my husband a text message to let him know we’re stopping for the night.)

    Me: “We’re stopping now in Gastonia, NC.”

    Husband: “Noooo oooonnnneeee… parks in Gaston, no one sleeps in Gaston, no one gets a hotel with clean sheets in Gaston!”

    Dreams Really Do Come True

    | Clovis, NM, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband talks in his sleep occasionally. This happened shortly after I moved in with him:)

    Husband: “Babe, do you know how to make meatloaf?”

    Me: “Um, I’ve never done it but I could figure it out if you want.”

    Husband: “Good, because I’m a man and men eat meatloaf!”

    (Then he rolled over and went back to sleep. To this day he doesn’t remember it but I always bring it up when I make meatloaf, which is one of his favorites now!)

    Come On Let’s Go And Slay

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My wife and I saw ‘Frozen,’ but got one of the songs so stuck in our heads that we’re not allowed to even allude to it now. We’ve just bought a car.)

    Wife: “Look at all the storage space in here! You can open this and this and this… What do you think?”

    Me: “That’s a lot of space!”

    Wife: “Definitely!”

    Me: *singing softly* “Will you help me hide a body?”

    (She was angrier about being reminded of that song again than by my idea for the car’s use!)

    Don’t Give Him A Song And Dance Over It

    | Fairbanks, AK, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I are a bit heavy. As such we tend to break cheaper toilet seats and since we’re low income, we have to buy the cheap $12-$16 toilet seats every four months or so. Finally my husband has had enough and uses some of his savings to buy an all wood, $30 seat.)

    Me: “You realize this is a bad idea, right? It’s going to splinter.”

    Husband: “No, it’s wood. It won’t break like the plastic did.”

    Me: “It’s still just wood. It’s going to break just like the rest. Maybe sooner since it’s got a grain pattern. Plastic is one solid piece.”

    Husband: “It will last! I am telling you it will last longer.”

    (Knowing my husband likes to win I concede but tell him the minute it breaks I’m doing a victory ‘I told you so’ dance. He laughs and says to go for it. Two weeks later. Husband is in the bathroom when I hear him shouting.)

    Husband: “Son of a b****!”

    Me: *worried* “Are you okay?”

    Husband: “Yeah, give me a minute.”

    (I’m concerned but go back to what I was doing. Husband comes out a couple minutes later.)

    Husband: “Okay, go ahead.”

    Me: “What?”

    Husband: “Do your dance.”

    Me: “It broke?”

    Husband: “Yeah.”

    Me: “What was the ‘son of a b*****’ for?”

    Husband: “A sensitive portion of my anatomy was sitting on the place where it split.”

    (I felt so bad I didn’t bother with an ‘I told you so.’ FYI: he’s fine, just embarrassed!)

    Blinded By Your Love

    | Schenectady, NY, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I’m in the car with my mom and her wife. We’re listening to a song which has the line ‘you’re the sun in my eyes’ in it.)

    Me: “I wouldn’t want someone to be the sun in my eyes. Now, that would just be annoying!”

    Mom’s Wife: *to my mom* “You’re just the sun in my life.”

    Me: “Aw, she gives you cancer.”

    Mom’s Wife: “Ozone-less sun.”

    Me: “Well, then, she’d just give you immediate cancer!”

    Mom’s Wife: “You know what I mean!”


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