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    Category: Marriage & Partners

    Love is blind, but marriage is the eye-opener.

    Nothing As Dangerous As Technology Scorned

    | Australia | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I are driving into the city for lunch, and he has his phone on the dash for directions. He loves giving his phone voice commands.)

    Husband: “Okay, [Phone], turn off maps.”

    Phone: *randomly updates destination to somewhere else*

    Husband: “No! Cancel!”

    Phone: “There is nothing to cancel.”

    Husband: “What? No! Cancel!”

    Phone: *continues updating map*

    Husband: “Oh, f*** off!”

    Phone: “Calling, [My Name].”

    Husband: “What?! No!” *starts hitting the screen*

    Me: “What the h***? Why did your phone start calling me when you told it to f*** off?!”

    Their Love Will Live Long And Prosper

    | Flin Flon, MB, Canada | Marriage & Partners

    (Some friends from out of town are visiting and telling us about how their trip in went.)

    Wife: “We had just enough gas to get here. I could tell that much. We were trying to figure out ways to conserve the gas. [Husband] said ‘Is there anything we don’t need, that we can turn off?’ So I turned down the heat as much as I could without fogging up the windows.”

    Husband: “That’s what they do on the Enterprise when they need to conserve energy. They turn off all unnecessary functions.”

    Wife: “That’s the nerdiest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

    Husband: “It worked, didn’t it?”

    This Snuggle Isn’t Working For Me

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband has a cold and I am giving him a hard time about it.)

    Husband: “Where are you going?”

    Me: “The bedroom.”

    Husband: “Why?”

    Me: “I don’t know, maybe there will be snuggles in there.”

    Husband: “I don’t want to get you sick”

    Me: *pouts*

    Husband: “I’m serious. It’s why I didn’t snuggle anyone at work today.”

    (His office is 100% male.)

    Me: “Wha…? Do you often snuggle your coworkers?”

    Husband: “All the time. What do you think we do during lunch?”

    Me: *stares*

    Husband: “Yeah, so if I skipped out on the daily lunch-snuggle, I’m definitely not going to make my wife sick by snuggling her. You should be thanking me for my considerate nature.”

    Happiness Doesn’t Get Blanket Coverage

    | USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I are getting ready for bed. We are each playing on a handheld game system. I accidentally drop my stylus off the bed and turn to reach for it, pulling the blankets with me.)

    Husband: *grumbling about the blankets* “Hey! You ruined my happy!”

    Me: “It’s okay. You’re not allowed to be happy. You’re married.”

    The Oldest ‘Don’t Ask’

    | FL, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband is almost nine years older than me. We are lounging around after a long day and he was trying to be romantic with me:)

    Husband: “Where have you been all my life?”

    Me: “Kindergarten.”

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