(About a year ago, our comforter ripped in the wash and had to be thrown out. Since then, we’ve been sleeping with a heavy blanket on the bed. Up until this point, our opposite tastes have prevented us from agreeing on a comforter set. I’ve been trying furiously to find one because my husband is a HUGE cover hog and this winter has been miserable for me.)
Husband: “I want you to pick out your favorite comforter set and send me a link.”
(Valentine’s Day is next week and even though it would be a gift to me, I pick out a set that I really like and that I think he would tolerate. I email it to him.)
Husband: *chuckles* “This is a test, isn’t it?”
(Our relationship is long distance and my boyfriend is on webcam at his friend’s house. It’s Valentine’s Day and he’s been calling me a cow, and I’ve been calling him a yak all night, but others are unaware we’re just joking.)
Boyfriend: *very sarcastically* “This is so fun. You should plan this again for next Valentine’s Day, cow.”
Boyfriend’s Friend: *laughs, a little shocked* “Well gee, [boyfriend's name], I love you too! What a wonderful relationship!”
Me: “What do you expect from a yak?”
(So my husband and I are out with some friends, including a girl we’ve been to several concerts with.)
Husband: *to our friend* “Hey, did you hear about the concert at the casino for Styx and Journey? It’s just a tribute band, but it sounds awesome.”
Friend: “That sounds cool.”
Husband: “Yeah, and it’s only $25 for two people; want to go?”
Me: “You’re talking about the one on Valentine’s Day, right? Where it’s 25 bucks per couple? As in, you’re asking a friend to a Valentine’s Day concert instead of your wife?”
Husband: *a little hesitant* “Uh, well…”
(Our friend is cracking up laughing now, and so is her boyfriend.)
Me: “I told you about this concert, but you haven’t asked me to go, but now you’re asking someone else to spend Valentine’s evening with?”
Husband: “You can go with [friend's boyfriend]!”
Want to win A Not Always Romantic t-shirt?
Enter February Themed Story Giveaway: Valentine’s Day!
Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:
- Submit a funny or interesting story about Valentine’s Day — or, if you prefer, Single Awareness Day.
- Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
- All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Romantic shop!
PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning January’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Long Distance Relationships. The winning submission: Love, And Other Drugs, Part 2 (905 thumbs up).
PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, March 6!
(I am on phone with my long-distance boyfriend. As my laptop is out for repair, I am so bored that I keep calling him the whole day. This leads to him telling me to stop suffocating him. After a while, we are both cool about the comment and are joking about it. He then calls me.)
Me: “Babe, are you on a suicide mission?”
Boyfriend: “Why do u ask that?”
Me: “Am I not suffocating you? Aren’t you gasping for breath?”
(It finally strikes him, he makes gasping for breath noises.)
Boyfriend: “Yes I am dying, but I would rather die talking to you than not talking to you.”