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    The best of the best stories on Not Always Romantic!

    Some Lines Cut The Cheese

    | NY, USA | Flirting/How We Met, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I’m originally from Wisconsin.)

    Guy: “Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my head all day.”

    Me: “…really?”

    Guy: “What? You’re from Wisconsin. I thought you’d like something cheesy.”

    (It totally worked!)

    Labor Of Love

    | UT, USA | Marriage & Partners, Top

    (My wife is pregnant with our first child but her second. She had given her first child up for adoption after her ex left her on very poor terms.)

    Wife: “Honey, will you be in the delivery room when our baby is born?”

    Me: “Why do you ask?”

    Wife: “Well, [Ex] couldn’t handle the sight of blood so he couldn’t be in the delivery room when our baby was born.”

    Me: “Nothing will stop me from being in that room with you. If I have to drive a tank through the hospital wall I will be in that room with you.”

    (The day she went into labor I drove her to the hospital and stopped by a toy store to pick up a little toy tank. I brought it into the room with us when our daughter was born.)

    It’s Cupid To Argue

    | CT, USA | Flirting/How We Met, Top

    (I am female and a volunteer at a camp. I am currently working with another counselor who is a male and happens to be very good looking. We are in a room working with a group of kids. One of the little girls comes up to me.)

    Girl: “Do you have a boyfriend?”

    Me: *looks at her with confusion* “No. Why?”

    Girl: “I thought you were dating him.” *points to other counselor in the room*

    Me: *blinks* “Ah… No, I’m not dating [Counselor]… Why him?”

    Girl: *beams* “I think you two are perfect for each other!”

    Me: “Ah. How about you go join the other kids, all right?”

    (Fast forward to the end of the day, as the kids are signing out to leave.)

    Me: *starts to leave*

    Counselor: “Hey! Wait up!”

    Me: *turns around* “Hey, [Counselor], what is it?”

    Counselor: “I was wondering… Would you like to go out with me?”

    Me: *eyes widen* “Seriously? Sure. I’d love to.”

    Counselor: *grins* “Awesome. How about after camp tomorrow?”

    Me: *smiles back* “Sounds good.”

    (The little girl from before runs up to him.)

    Girl: *looks at him* “I told you she would say yes!” *looks at me* “And now you’re dating him!”

    (The two of us just looked at each other and laughed. We’ve been dating for a year now, and still can’t believe that a seven year old girl was able to successfully set us up together.)

    Ended With A Single Punchline

    | PA, USA | Top

    (My boyfriend, at the very beginning of our relationship, used to tell a lot of sexist jokes. It was entirely harmless, of course, because as a generally stoic and emotionless person, he was just trying to get a reaction out of me. One day, quite by accident, I finally figured out a way to get him to stop.)

    Boyfriend: “Hey, why don’t women ever use umbrellas?”

    Me: “I don’t know. Why?”

    Boyfriend: “Because it never rains in the kitchen!”

    (I give an exasperated sigh, which encourages him to start telling another one.)

    Boyfriend: “What do you call—”

    Me: “I’ve got one.”

    Boyfriend: “Really?”

    Me: “Yeah. What do you call a guy who tells a lot of sexist jokes?”

    Boyfriend: *laughs* “I don’t know, what?”

    Me: “Single.”

    He’s Especially Good At Articulating

    | Gaston, NC, USA | Marriage & Partners, Top

    (My dad & I are driving from Maryland to Georgia. I send my husband a text message to let him know we’re stopping for the night.)

    Me: “We’re stopping now in Gastonia, NC.”

    Husband: “Noooo oooonnnneeee… parks in Gaston, no one sleeps in Gaston, no one gets a hotel with clean sheets in Gaston!”

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