Me: “What did we say we needed to make dinner tonight?”

Girlfriend: “Well, we’ll need ground beef, cheese, buns—”

(At this point, a teenaged boy rams his cart into my girlfriend’s hip.)

Boy: “Watch it!”

Boy’s father: “What did you just say?”

Boy: “I told her to watch it!”

Boy’s father: *to her* “I’m so sorry. Are you all right?”

Girlfriend: “Oh, I’ll be fine, thank you. I’ve certainly had worse.”

Boy’s father: *to his son* “You apologize!”

Boy: “No! She was in my way, I didn’t do anything!”

Girlfriend: *to me* “That reminds me, we need a new box of condoms, don’t we?”

(The boy’s father bursts out laughing, and the boy turns bright red.)