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    A Wife…

    Eggs For Dinner

    | Vista, CA, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My wife and I have a tendency to use baby-talk with each other when no one else is around. We are lying in bed.)

    Wife: “So, what should we have for dinner?”

    Me: *kissy face* “Oh, maybe some leftie-over-ies.”

    Wife: *bolts upright* “What?”

    Me: *incredulous* “What did I say?”

    Wife: *laughs* “We are not going to eat my ovaries!”

    Me: “I said leftovers.”

    Wife: “You said ovaries. Actually, my left ovary.”

    Me: *shrugs* “I guess I did.” *pokes her side* “Well, give it to me then.”

    I Love You, Non-warts And All

    | Stockholm, Sweden | Marriage & Partners

    (Me and my husband are play-fighting. He’s started to tickle me and I’m falling over laughing.)

    Me: “Wait. Have I always sounded like the wicked witch when I laugh, or did that start now?”

    Husband: *pauses for a moment* “Nope, that started now.”

    (My husband resumes tickling.)

    Me: “Stop it! I feel like all I need now is a wart on my nose!”

    Husband: “You are my wife. All you ask for, you shall receive!”

    (He grabs the back of my neck and starts rubbing my face against a small red dot on his arm.)

    Me: *muffled* “I appreciate the sentiment, but that’s not a wart.”

    Husband: “No?”

    Me: “No.”

    Husband: *very disappointed* “I have failed you!”

    He Isn’t Presentable

    | LA, USA | Family/Kids, Marriage & Partners, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s Christmas and we are opening presents, when I notice my mom doesn’t have one from my dad.)

    Me: “Daddy, why didn’t you by Mommy a present?”

    Mom: “Because Daddy forgot, like he always does.”

    Dad: “I didn’t forget! She’s got me! That’s the best gift there is!”

    Mom: “Sadly, he’s the sort of gift that is non-returnable.”

    December 2012 Top Story Roundup

    Not Always Romantic | Roundups

    December 2012 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Romantic’s top-rated stories for the month of December!

    1. Brace Yourself (1,232 thumbs up)
    2. You Get More Than Just Irish Coffee (873 thumbs up)
    3. This Idiot Hasn’t Got A Leg To Stand On (785 thumbs up)
    4. Starting A Life Of Pi (699 thumbs up)
    5. Bullying Jocks Are Just Cupid (670 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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