(After reading all of the Till Undeath Do Us Part stories, I have to ask my fiancé his take on it.)

Me: “So, would you shoot me if we were cornered by zombies with no hope of escape?”

Fiancé “No. I’d use you as a shield.”

Me: “WHAT?!”

Fiancé “Hey, you’re going to die anyway. But don’t worry, I’d shoot you after you got bitten.”

Related:
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 10
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 9
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 8
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 7
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 6
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 5
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 4
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 3
Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 2
Till Undeath Do Us Part

(I recently have had some health troubles and have had several blood transfusions. My husband and I are trying to make light of the situation.)

Me: *completely joking* “I think I am becoming a vampire, because I have become
pale and lost my appetite. Can you handle being married to a vampire?”

Husband: “Yeah, but just let me lose a few pounds before you turn me. I’m pretty fat right now, and don’t want to be that way for eternity.”

(My boyfriend takes me to a very nice steakhouse for no apparent reason, except that he has a gift card to use up.)

Me: “What do you want to do tonight?”

Boyfriend: “I don’t really care, but we have to stop by the house. I have a surprise for you.”

Me: “A surprise? What is it?”

Boyfriend: “It’s something we’ve been talking about a lot lately and it’s something you really want. It’s warm and fuzzy. And brown. And not living.”

Me: “A teddy bear?!” *he nods and I laugh* “You know, you’re a terrible secret
keeper.”

(Later, we get to the house.)

Boyfriend: “It’s on the couch under that blanket. I didn’t want the cat to bother it.”

Me: “Okay!”

(I go over to the couch and move the blanket to see a teddy bear with a box sitting next to it. I pick up the box and all of a sudden my boyfriend is right next to me, on his knee. He takes the ring, proposes, and I say yes – of course!)

Boyfriend: “And you said I couldn’t keep a secret!”

(Turns out he ordered the ring more than a month before, had it for over two weeks, and I had hugged him once with it in his pocket!)

(My boyfriend and I are so close that we’ve formed a telepathic connection of sorts. He has just said something about a ‘narrow passageway for things to move through’.)

Me: “Haha!”

(I’m laughing because the description sounds like a urethra, but I haven’t said a word about it to my boyfriend.)

Boyfriend: “What are you laughing about? Is it because it sounds like I was talking about a urethra?”

Me: “OH MY GOD, HOW DID YOU KNOW?!”

Boyfriend: “I know you. I know what you think.”

Me: “Get out of my mind!”

Hey readers! Just a reminder that you can win a Not Always Romantic t-shirt if you enter our Themed Story Giveaway!

Per popular reader request, we’re changing the contest to a giveaway. This way, everyone has an equal chance to win!

May’s Theme-of-the-Month: Proposals! Got a funny or unusual proposal story? Submit a story today to enter for a chance to win a Not Always Romantic t-shirt! Note: please be sure to include your email address in the submission form, so we can contact you if you’ve won.

Want some examples? Check out some of the fantastic proposal stories readers have already submitted:

• That’s His Big Game Plan
• More Than Just Desserts
• Building A Home(less) Together
• On A Mission To Get Married
• Laptop Flop
• Bath-time Vs Tea-time
• A Solution To The Resolution

PS – winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt: Wednesday, June 6!

(It is new year’s, after our company has gone home. We are lying in bed talking about resolutions.)

Boyfriend: “Are you making any resolutions this year?”

Me: “No, I break them no matter how ridiculous they are. I could suggest a few for you though.”

Boyfriend: “Like what?”

Me: “Clean more, train the dog, make a commitment to your girlfriend.”

Boyfriend: “Are you proposing to me?”

Me: *in my most sarcastic voice* “Yeah. Will you marry me?”

Boyfriend: “It seems so sudden, but okay. This might look better on you though.”

(He hands me a beautiful ring. He still won’t let me live it down that “I” proposed.)