(Being reasonably computer-savvy, I change the host name of my laptops to reflect the ‘name’ I give them. My last laptop’s hostname is ‘Franz,’ and my current laptop, which I got about three months ago, is named ‘Blaise.’ I am a single female. I am talking to my Dad.)

Me: “I don’t think I’ve been more than fifty feet from this computer for 24 hours in a row yet. Ever!”

(Dad and I start talking about my old computer, which I used for nearly eight years until it literally began falling apart at the seams.)

Me: “I don’t know about anyone else, but I hold onto my tech for years at a time because I get really emotionally attached to them. Nobody loves me like my computer does, it listens to me, cheers me up with music when I’m down, and knows all my secrets.”

Dad: “Yeah, Franz treated you well.”

Me: *sentimentally* “Yeah, he did.”

(I pick up my current laptop.)

Me: “But Blaise is the best digital boyfriend ever!” *hugs computer* “We’re one of those disgustingly cute, clingy couples!”

(I’m a math teacher at a small high school. My boyfriend is an English teacher in the same school. He often leaves me notes on the board in my room during lunch, so my students and I see them as we come in. One day, I get into my classroom and see that all of my students are sitting in their seats, waiting for me, which is odd. One of my students hands me a paper.)

Student #1: “Here! [Boyfriend] told us to have you solve this equation on the board.”

(The instructions are to “solve the inequality for i in terms of u”. I can guess where this is going. I figure it’s just another one of his notes.)

Me: “Okay, but we only have a few minutes before class starts.”

(I start to solve the problem, but as I get closer and closer to the end, I notice something’s off about the problem. My students start to snicker.)

Student #2: “Oh, my God!”

Student #3: “What? What’s wrong?”

Student #2: “He forgot that when you divide by a negative number, you flip the signs!”

(I finish the problem and laugh. The answer is ‘i<3u'. I turn around and see my boyfriend on one knee in front of the class, a box in one hand and his head in the other. I said yes!)

(My boyfriend and I are buying our weekly groceries.)

Boyfriend: “What day is it today?”

Me: “It’s Sunday, I think?”

Boyfriend: “S***!

Me: “What? What’s wrong!?”

Boyfriend: “We forgot! Game Of Thrones is on tonight! Hurry, Hurry, Hurry! We need to get home!”

Me: “D***! But I haven’t finished shopping!”

(My boyfriend literally starts running around the store, pushing people out of the way and grabbing as much random food as he can carry. He then grabs two packets of 2 minute noodles.)

Boyfriend: “Dinner’s sorted! GO! GO! GO!”

(We made it home in time!)