May's Themed Story Giveaway: Marriage & Partners!Submit your story today!
(My wife has always been a very voluptuous woman. At age 18, she had a breast reduction from DD to C. After several children, she is back up to DD.)
Me: “I love how intelligent you are.”
Wife: “That’s why my breasts are so big. They overflow from my head.”
Me: “That explains it, then.”
Wife: “Explains what?”
Me: “Why you didn’t date me back right after high school. You had a lobotomy!”
(My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year. We are both laying on my bed, just chilling and talking. My girlfriend then says she needs to go pee.)
Girlfriend: “Aw, I need to go pee, but I’m too lazy to get up.”
Me: “I feel like that sometimes. But I eventually do get up. I mean, what am I going to do? Pee the bed?”
Girlfriend: “That definitely wouldn’t be a good thing to do!”
(There is a 3-second pause.)
Me: “Have you ever tried to just pee your pants? Like just go. I sometimes just try it just to see if I can, but just can’t do it!”
Girlfriend: “Oh, my God, I totally know what you mean! Sometimes I just sit there and think, ‘What if I just peed my pants right here?’, and concentrate on going, but I can’t bring myself to actually do it!”
Me: “Oh, I know, it’s so annoying.”
Me: “Listen to us. This is what we talk about?”
Great Minds Pee Alike
(My boyfriend and I have only been dating for roughly two months. This occurs at a nice, quiet moment in bed as we are staring at one another like the cheesy goofballs we are.)
Me: “I like you.”
Boyfriend: *with a slight weird look* “I like you, too.”
Me: “Yeah, that’s weird.”
Boyfriend: “Really weird.”
Me: “What else can we say though? I mean, that isn’t the big one.”
Boyfriend: “I don’t know. ‘I’m infatuated with you’ is too long and awkward.”
Boyfriend: “I lust you.”
Me: *laughing* “I lust you too.”
Boyfriend: “I can’t wait till we do this in public.”
Me: “That is why I lust you.”
(My parents are arguing over the dessert at their 30th anniversary dinner.)
Mom: “Why did you get raspberries? You know I don’t like them.”
Dad: “I thought they’d make the apple crumble nice and tart.”
Mom: “I’m the only tart you need!”
Hey readers! Check out these great How We First Met stories we’ve already received for the August Themed Story Giveaway:
Got a story of your own? Submit it for a chance to win a Not Always Romantic T-shirt!
Submitting is as easy as 1-2-3:
- Submit a story based on the theme-of-the-month: How We First Met!
- Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
- All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt!
PS – winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt: Wednesday, September 5!