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    One Ring To Rue Them All

    | SA, Australia | Divorce, Engaged, Family/Kids, Fights/Breakups

    (My friend and I are walking across the school field during lunch. My friend is holding a wedding ring her mum gave her the day before. She has already managed to lose it once, prompting a two-hour long search by my entire class.)

    Friend: *looking thoughtfully at the ring* “You know what? Someday I’m going to get married with this ring.”

    Me: “Really? That’ll be nice.”

    Friend: “Yeah. It’s got a cute story and everything!”

    Me: “Okay. Let’s hear it then.”

    Friend: “It’s so romantic. My granddad gave this ring to my grandma as a wedding ring, only she lost it…”

    Me: “Oh, poor her.”

    Friend: “Yeah. So then after she found it they got divorced.”

    (I’m a bit taken aback by this, but she continues nonetheless.)

    Friend: “Then my grandma gave the ring to my dad, who lost it, too. When he found it again he married my mum with it.”

    (Again, I am a bit taken aback but to me the ring is starting to redeem itself.)

    Friend: “And then they got divorced. When my mum moved out SHE lost it. She was preparing for the move last week and she found it. She gave it to me as a present. And that is why I’m going to get married with it someday, because it’s good luck!”

    (My friend skips off and leaves me standing there just blinking in shock. She comes back to get me and looks completely cheerful. I’m 100 percent sure that she has a cursed ring on her finger.)

    Hurtful Pillow Talk

    | Italy | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are going to bed. I am notorious for being restless when trying to fall asleep. We turn off the lights but after a few minutes I have to get up to get a glass of water. I come back to find my boyfriend hugging his pillow.)

    Me: “Why are you hugging the pillow instead of me?”

    Boyfriend: *half asleep* “He’s nicer. He doesn’t keep moving…”

    His Mermaid Wants To Go Back To The Ocean

    | Bridgewater, NJ, USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (I am a 20-year-old man. My girlfriend has been asking me to take a picture with Santa Claus at the mall. Keep in mind, she is a 21-year-old actress and is eagerly waiting for her job offer to perform on the Disney Cruise.)

    Santa: “And what would you like for Christmas, young lady?”

    Girlfriend: “A performing job on the Disney Cruise!”

    Santa: “That’s quite original. What role would you play?”

    Girlfriend: “Ariel, the mermaid!”

    Santa: “How about you young man? What would you like for Christmas?”

    Me: “To be honest… an Iphone.”

    Santa: *sensing how excited my girlfriend is about her gift request* “Are you sure you wouldn’t want something else? Say… being her Prince Eric?”

    Me: “Probably an iPhone–” *feeling a kick from my girlfriend* “–Prince Eric would be fantastic. I’d love that.”

    Santa: “That’s better. Good luck to you young lady, and Merry Christmas!”

    Actually, Food Is The Food Of Love, Part 2

    | Sweden | Dating

    (We have made and eaten a big meal. Leftovers are still laying on the table. My boyfriend and I have collapsed in the bed and are watching TV.)

    Me: “I’m lying here, thinking about the food we left in the kitchen, thinking how I want more.”

    Boyfriend: “Oh. You, too?”

    Both Of Us: “This is why our relationship works.”

    Related:
    Actually, Food Is The Food Of Love

    Ugly Christmas Sweater

    eecard


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