(My girlfriend’s neighbor gets some fireworks for the 4th of July. I go over to enjoy them. Note that I’m about three inches shorter than my girlfriend.)

Me: “I’m so excited. I’ve never actually set off fireworks before.”

Girlfriend: “It’s pretty cool if you got the right ones.”

(As she says that, her neighbor sets one off that screams.)

Me: “Oh, God!” *I hide behind her*

Girlfriend: *dies laughing*