(My boyfriend works at a coffee shop just off campus. Lots of students would come by to get coffee or snacks when the cafeteria is closed. I would do my homework at the counter in between classes to keep him company.)

Me: “Did you save me one of those pastries I like?”

Boyfriend: “No, but I’ll make it up to you by giving you my free drink today.”

Me: “Deal!”

(I give him a quick kiss over the counter and he turns to make my drink. Just then a girl walks in, saunters up to the counter, and starts flirting with him.)

Customer: “Hello? Could I get some service please?”

Boyfriend: “Yes miss, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I want a large [expensive drink] with soy milk.”

(She leans over the counter in her low-cut shirt and winks.)

Boyfriend: “Okay, I’ll get that started for you.”

(He proceeds to make both drinks.)

Customer: “So, have you worked here long?”

Boyfriend: “Just about two years. I started when I started school.”

Customer: “Oh, I’m a freshman! Maybe we could be in some classes together?”

Boyfriend: “Probably not. I finished all my entry level classes already.”

(He returns to the counter with both finished drinks and passes me one.)

Boyfriend: “Your total comes to $x.xx.”

Customer: “Oh! Well, maybe I could pay you with this instead?”

(She hands him a piece of paper with her number on it.)

Boyfriend: “No. Your total is $x.xx.”

Customer: “But…I flirted with you. That means my drink is free.”

Boyfriend: “No, it doesn’t.”

Customer: “But, you gave that girl her drink for free and she’s not even half as pretty as me!”

Boyfriend: “That’s my girlfriend you just insulted. And she is much prettier than a shallow, whiny, self-centered, air-headed brat like you.”

(The customer storms out, without her drink.)

Me: “Have I told you how much I love you today?”