(My friend is playing with his wife and kids. His daughter is pretending to be a zombie and play-nipping at him.)

Friend: “You know, if you kids turned zombie I would be so dead.”

(He thinks for a minute.)

Friend: “And if [roommate] turned zombie, I’d be dead too.”

(He looks over at his wife, considering.)

Friend: “But you? You I’d shoot.”

Friend’s wife: “That’s it. No ice cream for you!”