(My husband is at work and we are texting while he is on break. I am currently 29 weeks pregnant.)

Husband: “Hey cutie.”

Me: “Hi love. Your boy literally just kicked me in the crotch.”

Husband: “Well that’s not good.”

Me: “It wasn’t painful. Just a really weird sensation.”

Husband: “Testing the gate. Searching for weaknesses. Like a raptor.”