(My fiancé and I both work in my mom’s restaurant. It’s my day off, but I stop by to see her. I kiss her goodbye when an older couple—around their 70′s—come up to the register to pay.)

Older woman: “Oh, how long have you two been together?”

Fiancé: “Almost three years. We just got engaged.”

Older woman: “Oh, how lovely.”

Older man: *to me* “Can I give you some advice, son?”

Me: “Absolutely.”

(He leans in to me, and claps me on the shoulder.)

Older man: “Run. Run now, and never look back.”

(He got a smack in the head from his wife, and I got a smack in the head from my fiancé for laughing.)