(My band is between sets, taking a break. A guy my age and two people who appear to be his parents approach me, while I’m on the phone.)

Mom: “Hi…”

Me, to caller: “Hold on a sec.”

Mom: *gestures to son* “He thinks you’re really hot.”

Me: *awkward silence*

Mom: “And I’ve heard he has a monster in his pants.”

Me: *unbearably awkward silence*