(I was talking with my long-distance girlfriend on Skype a few days before we would see each other over Christmas.)

Girlfriend: “Guess what!”

Me: “I don’t know, sweetie, what?”

Girlfriend: “I like you! Guess what else?”

Me: *laughs* “Aw, I like you too! And I don’t know, honey, what?”

Girlfriend: “I pooped twice today.”

Me: “…yay?”