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    Fuzzy About Flirting

    | FL, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I work at a well-known theme park, in a role where I cannot speak to guests because it breaks the illusion. I’ve just seen a post on ‘Buzzfeed’ about what not to do when meeting people in my role. I point it out to my husband.)

    Me: “Yes, to all of these!”

    Husband: *after reading* “D***, I break one of them. I try to flirt and hit on a fuzzy. But the difference is that I’m successful. The character always comes back to my room with me.”

    Raising A Family Of True Barbarians

    | Orem, UT, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I are both geeks. He’s reading ‘Memebase,’ and sees one about geek speed dating and Dragon Ball Z.)

    Husband: “So, if I were to die, what would you do?”

    Me: “Crush your enemies, see them driven before me, and hear the lamentations of their women.” *which is from ‘Conan the Barbarian’*

    Husband: “This! This is why I married you.”

    Me: “Then I’d bring you back and kill you again for messing up my selfish plan to die first.”

    Husband: “Oh, that’s right! I did swear, by Grabthar’s Hammer, you shall be avenged!” *which is from Galaxy Quest*

    Me: “Our kids have no chance at being normal, do they?”

    Husband: “None.”

    Has The Last Word In This Relationship

    | MI, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend is playing a video game while I’m sitting beside him and eating some chips. He will turn to me and open and close his mouth to signify he wants one, which I oblige. After the third or so time…)

    Me: “C’mon, honey. Use your words.”

    Boyfriend: “…nom nom nom?”

    Lovebite

    | CO, USA | Dating

    (I’m at a renaissance festival with my girlfriend. She is scratching a bug bite on her neck.)

    Girlfriend: “Ah! I hate the bugs in this state. The bites itch like crazy.”

    Me: “Here, let me help…”

    (I start scratching the bite on her neck. About ten seconds pass.)

    Me: “Wait… is this sweet or creepy?”

    Girlfriend: “I haven’t decided yet. But keep doing it.”

    All Relationships Have Teething Problems

    | CA, USA | Dating

    (I’m lying down in bed waiting for my boyfriend, who is in the bathroom brushing his teeth. He comes into the room still brushing his teeth, and lies down next to me.)

    Boyfriend: *pulls toothbrush out of his mouth and points it at my mouth* “Eh?”

    Me: “What? Ew! No!”

    Boyfriend: “You know, if we kissed right now we could both have clean teeth!”


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