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    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 31

    | Bristol, England, UK | Dating, Fights/Breakups

    (I decide to ask the boyfriend the ‘kill or be killed’ question.)

    Me: “If there were a zombie apocalypse, and I got bitten, would you—”

    Boyfriend: *zero hesitation* “I would kill you. I would kill you good.”

    Me: *hurt at his enthusiasm* “Oh.”

    Boyfriend: “Just to stop you moaning and shuffling around the house. You do that too much anyway…”

    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 30
    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 29
    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 28
    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 27
    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 26
    Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 25

    A Couple Of Points Are Lost On Him

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are a pretty strange couple. For instance we made up a pig/cow hybrid that says ‘moink moink’ and we also have our own ‘language’ just using random phrases. On this particular day, two of his band-mates have come over for a horror movie. Band-mate #1 is single, whereas Band-mate #2 has a girlfriend. My boyfriend goes to make popcorn.)

    Me: “Moink moink?”

    Boyfriend: “Moo.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Band-Mate#1: “What?”

    Boyfriend: “She wants extra butter.”

    (Band-Mate #1 looks baffled as Band-Mate #2 is laughing.)

    Band-Mate #2: “You really need a girlfriend. You’ve lost your touch with the almost dead language of couples!”

    Compliments Are Alien To Him

    | AK, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I’ve recently lost about 25 pounds and am trying on a dress that previously did not fit. I ask my husband if I look okay.)

    Husband: “You know when they introduce a new alien species on Star Trek? Your dress reminds me of something the alien women might wear.”

    Me: “…”

    Husband: “What? It’s a compliment! You look great!”

    Should Know When To Say No

    | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I have just come home after a gathering for his family. Note our birthdays are only two days apart.)

    Me: “Sweetie, [Cousin] came and said it’s my fault you two can’t go on a trip this summer.”

    Boyfriend: “Well, it is. The only week I could go is our birthday week.”

    Me: “I know you don’t care about your birthday, but would you really want to be gone for mine?”

    Boyfriend: “…I’m going to guess you want me to say no.”

    Alive And Breathing

    | Northern Ireland, UK | Engaged

    Alive And Breathing


    Northern Ireland, UK

    (My fiancé and I are talking randomly. It should be noted that according to my fiancé I ‘snore like a walrus.’)

    Fiancé: “Sometimes when you’re sleeping and not snoring, I check to see if you’re still alive.”

    Me: *hysterically laughing* “I don’t know whether that’s a sweet or a dicky thing to say.”

    Fiancé: “At least it shows I care!”

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