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    Putting On A Bad Show

    | Italy | Dating

    (My girlfriend and I are both in our late twenties. We are currently chatting on Skype. I hear some background music and recognize the opening of a teen TV show that my sisters used to watch.)

    Me: “[Girlfriend]?”

    Girlfriend: “Yes?”

    Me: “What was that?”

    Girlfriend: *defensively* “Nothing. There was nothing at all!”

    Me: “Please tell me you are NOT watching [Romantic Teen Show]!”

    Girlfriend: “What? How… how did you know?”

    Me: “My 13-year-old sister watches it! I’m going to tease you about this forever!”

    Girlfriend: “It was just a momentary fluke!”

    They’ve Gone Beyond Reason

    | Yardley, PA, USA | Dating

    (My girlfriend and I have been discussing moving in together. We are in front of our iPads while on the bed. I’m playing a game; she is reading from a website about tips on moving in together.)

    Girlfriend: “Come up with at least one reason to move in together other than finance and convenience.”

    (I think for a bit, and aside from loving her and wanting to spend my life with her, I see no other reasons. But that’s not quite what came out.)

    Me: “Seriously? What other reason is there?”

    (My girlfriend erupts with laughter as I realize how that sounded.)

    Me: “Let me rephrase that…”

    (She keeps laughing.)

    Me: *amused but insistent* “Let me rephrase that!”

    (More laughter.)

    Me: *defeated, sighing* “All right, let me bring up Not Always Romantic…”

    Ohmnomnom!

    776bc62242bbb0bc7942ae6bdd2495f5

    Atypically Asexual

    | ON, Canada | Dating, LGBTQ

    (I am very involved in sexual orientation as I am a guidance counselor at a local college who often assists with identifying. I myself identify as asexual, and am very passionate about the LGBT+ world. My boyfriend and I are attending a party where we are talking to another couple after they have learned I’m asexual.)

    Woman: “But how do you have a boyfriend? If you don’t like anyone, how can you date?”

    Me: “Well, actually—”

    Boyfriend: “—asexuality is not having sexual attraction. She is romantically attracted to me, but she has no desire to engage in sexual activity with me.”

    (This is what I always say, word for word. He calmly takes a sip of wine, and sees me staring at him.)

    Boyfriend: “What?”

    Me: “How’d you know what I was going to say?”

    Boyfriend: “You’ve been saying the same thing for the past two years anytime someone asks.”

    Me: “I’m going to have to change it up.”

    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 13

    | OH, USA | Dating

    (I’ve been in a crabby mood all day due to lack of sleep the night before, so my boyfriend’s usual perverted jokes throughout the day have been irritating me. This happens right before bed, after he’s kept me awake for three hours past when I wanted to go to sleep.)

    Boyfriend: “You wanna have sex?”

    Me: *groans tiredly* “Honey, I’m sorry. I’m so tired, and I’ve been in a bad mood all day, so we haven’t really been getting along. I wish you’d asked earlier while I was still awake, at least.”

    Boyfriend: *sweetly, but disappointed* “It’s okay, sweetie.” *gives me a kiss* “Goodnight.”

    (He rolls over to go to sleep. After about three full minutes of complete silence, he rips a huge fart.)

    Me: *laughs for the first time all day*

    Boyfriend: *cutely* “I love you!”

    Me: *laughing so hard I can’t even respond*

    (Somehow that fart, his cuteness that followed, and him making me laugh managed to undo my day’s frump, and I happily honored his request for sexy time. When I told him later that what had put me in the mood was his fart, he made a grossed-out face and told me how weird I am, but that he loves me anyway.)

    Related:
    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 12
    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 11
    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 10


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