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    Doesn’t Like Dem Apples

    | TX, USA | Dating

    (I talk in my sleep and my boyfriend likes to recount the stories to me, much to my horror.)

    Boyfriend: “You were taking again last night.”

    Me: “Oh, god,. What now?”

    Boyfriend: “Something about how the apples were coming and we needed to get things ready for them. Then you stopped.”

    Me: “What is wrong with my brain?”

    Boyfriend: “Then you looked up five minutes later and asked if they were here yet.”

    Me: *facepalm*

    When Domesticating Your Man Has Gone Too Far

    | Ireland | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are getting groceries, and I decide to wear sexy lingerie.)

    Me: *seductively* “I am not wearing any underwear.”

    Boyfriend: “Yeah, me neither; we should really do laundry more often!”

    (The saddest part is that he actually meant it!)

    A Handy Comeback

    | London, England, UK | Dating

    (I’m meeting my girlfriend after work to get dinner.)

    Me: “Oh, yeah. I bought you a little gift today: a Moomin fridge magnet.”

    Girlfriend: “Oh, wow, that’s nice! Sorry, I don’t have anything to give to you but a firm handshake.”

    (We shook hands and continued on the restaurant like it was totally normal behaviour.)

    When You’re Just Adding To The Problem

    | Tokyo, Japan | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are taking a shower together. I have been out riding my bicycle for about an hour and neglected to wear a sports bra so there’s noticeable redness underneath the breasts where it chafed a bit.)

    Boyfriend: “You’ve got a red line there.”

    Me: “Oh, yeah. Can’t be helped.”

    Boyfriend: “Isn’t there any way you can stop that from happening?”

    Me: “Not unless they get smaller. They’re just too heavy.”

    Boyfriend: “D***. Well, that makes me conflicted.”

    (Without missing a beat, he grabs my breasts and starts massaging them.)

    Boyfriend: “Get bigger! Get bigger!”

    July Theme Of The Month: Gullible Partners

    | Not Always Romantic | Announcements, Theme Of The Month
    Introducing July’s Theme Of The Month: Gullible Partners!

    Entering is easy:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about this month’s theme: Gullible Partners. Share a story about things you wished you’d have known about your partner before you got together!
    2. At the end of the month, we’ll feature our favorite Theme Of The Month stories in a roundup!

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