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    An Icy Start To The Relationship

    | USA | Fights/Breakups, Flirting/How We Met

    (A guy at work asks me out on a date, and since I like him a lot, I say yes. We agree to meet in this new restaurant after my shift’s done. Unfortunately it has snowed, and everything is covered in ice and snow. I get lost, and after driving around aimlessly, I decide to give up and go home. I realize I forgot to exchange numbers, so I can’t call to apologize. The next day…)

    Guy: “Hey, where were you?!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry about that! I got lost because of the snow!”

    Guy: “Well, why didn’t you call me to say that?”

    Me: “I don’t have your number.”

    Guy: “Well you could’ve asked for it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I forgot.”

    Guy: “Yeah. Sure you did! Just admit that you don’t think I’m hot!”

    (Needless to say, after that our relationship quickly fizzled!)

    Won’t Make It To Third Base

    | IL, USA | Dating

    (The Red Sox, my favorite baseball team, have just won the World Series against the Cardinals. My boyfriend, being from northern New Jersey, grew up liking the Yankees, who have a long-standing rivalry with the Red Sox.)

    Me: “Red Sox won! Party!”

    Boyfriend: “Party! Party!”

    Me: “…did I seriously just see a Yankees fan cheering for the Red Sox?”

    Boyfriend: “I’m sure I’ll snap out of it by lunchtime. The Cardinals aren’t the Yankees, though.”

    Me: “They’re the closest team to your college, and they’re not arch-rivals of the Yankees.”

    Boyfriend: “Hmm.”


    Not A Morning Person

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (I have just spent the night at my boyfriend’s house after a party. He is cuddling with me.)

    Boyfriend: “You smell like morning person.”

    Me: “What does that smell like?”

    Boyfriend: “Like someone who hasn’t showered or brushed their teeth in eight hours.”

    (I give him a look.)

    Boyfriend: “I love you, stinky girlfriend!”

    Actually, Food Is The Food Of Love

    , | Rexburg, ID, USA | Dating, Top

    (I have been on a couple of dates with a guy, and we spend a lot of time hanging out, but he hasn’t officially asked me to be his girlfriend. We are getting food at a fast food place and I’m ordering.)

    Me: “I’ll just have [meal].”

    Employee: “It’ll be [price].”

    Him: “I’ve got this; I’ll pay.”

    Me: “No. I can pay for myself!”

    Him: *shocked* “What? Why?”

    Me: “I am perfectly capable of paying for myself. Besides you aren’t my boyfriend, because we aren’t officially dating.”

    Him: “What? What do you mean we aren’t dating?”

    (The employee is standing there super awkwardly.)

    Me: “You never actually asked me to be your girlfriend, so I get to pay for my own food.”

    Him: *frustrated* “Fine! Will you be my girlfriend?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Him: “Good! Now I’m paying for your food!”

    (The super-confused employee takes the card, and doesn’t say anything for the rest of the transaction.)

    Sweet Talking About Talking

    | ON, Canada | Dating, Top

    (My new boyfriend and I are at our high school football game. We are standing at halftime, and he doesn’t talk much due to his lisp. When he does, people don’t mind.)

    Me: “To tell the truth, I’m slightly jealous of you.”

    Boyfriend: “Why?”

    Me: “Because when you talk, people don’t care about your speech impediment.”

    (Note: I have a very strong stutter that I have managed to control when I’m calm, but is always there when my heart elevates.)

    Boyfriend: “You don’t have a lisp though.”

    (My heart is starting to race, since I haven’t told anyone about the stutter.)

    Me: “I-I-I-I do, I do, I do have a stutter though. It’s, it’s, always there when I’m nervous most-mostly.”

    Boyfriend: “Aww! You sound so cute!”

    Me: “Well, same to-to-to-to-GAH! I hate this!”

    Boyfriend: “If we combine us, the result will be a highly intelligent, attractive person, who is highly social, but then speaks and sounds like an adorable five year old!”

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