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    Checking You Out In More Than One Way

    | USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (My mom sent me to the store to pick up a few things on the day of my high school graduation. I approach the cashier, who appears to be at least 30 years old. At this store, the cashiers tend to be really friendly.)

    Cashier: “Well, hello there, beautiful!”

    Me: “Hi, thanks.”

    Cashier: “How are you? Did you find everything? Can I help you find anything more?”

    Me: “I’m all set, thanks.”

    Cashier: “Wow. You’re really beautiful.”

    Me: *really off guard* “Uh… thanks.”

    Cashier: “What are you doing later today?”

    Me: “…graduating from high school.”

    Cashier: “Oh, cool, so you’re 18?”

    Me: “No, I’m only 17…”

    Cashier: “Oh. Call me in a year.”

    (I haven’t seen that cashier since then. I kind of wish that I had told the manager, but I was so weirded out that I just left as fast as I could.)

    Fountain Of Uncouth

    | TX, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I am working at a fireworks stand. By Texas law, shoppers are not allowed to handle the fireworks before they purchase them, so a staff member is assigned to help customers at each area of the store. Currently, I am stationed near a type of fireworks called ‘fountains’. Because most customers are unfamiliar with fountains I call out to them as they pass. I am a sixteen-year-old girl.)

    Me: *to a middle-aged man* “Sir? Can I interest you in some fountains?”

    Customer: “Honey, the only fountain I’m interested in is the one you’re running through naked.”

    He Is Soda-pressing

    | Jackson, TN, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are getting fast food. This conversation happened in front of the soda machine.)

    Me: “Sometimes when I’m sad, I’ll pour myself some soda and pretend that the fizzy sound is applause. So even if the world is against me I still have bubbles on my side.”

    Boyfriend: “But even the bubbles eventually fizz out, and you’re left with no one again.”

    Me: “I think that’s the part where you’re supposed to say, ‘I’ll always be by your side, babe.'”

    Boyfriend: “I can’t make that promise. Of the two of us, I’m most likely to die first, so you’ll only have your artificial and imaginary applause to keep you company after that.”

    Me: “But by then I’ll have our kids though, right?”

    Boyfriend: “Who will have all grown up and have lives of their own to deal with. I sure hope the future has lots of soda for you.”

    Me: “Gee, thanks, a**-hole.”

    (We broke up not long after that. He was just too pessimistic for me to handle.)

    Thinking Inches Apart

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Marriage & Partners

    (It’s late one night and my husband and I are in bed together about to have marital relations.)

    Me: “I’m pretty tired so I’ve only got about 10 minutes in me.”

    Husband: “Well, soon you’ll have about 10 inches in you.”

    Me: “Really? Who else is coming?”

    Own Your Anxiety

    | MI, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancé and I are chatting on Facebook, when I mention that my anxiety issues are making it difficult to apply for grad school. Note that we are both fans of ‘Doctor Who.’)

    Fiancé: “Fear is a super power, you know.”

    Me: “Yeah, against a monster that’s probably completely made up.”

    Fiancé: “…”

    Me: “Oh, crap. That’s basically what my anxiety disorder is.”

    Fiancé: *winks*

    Me: “I just owned myself.”

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