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    A Very Long (Wait For) Engagement

    | ME, USA | Dating, Engaged

    (My boyfriend has had my engagement ring for several weeks now, but hasn’t asked me to marry him yet. He’s already skipped asking me on Valentine’s Day a week earlier. I’m getting rather eager. Finally, I notice him acting nervous all day and know that today is the day! We go to church, we go out to lunch, we go shopping, we go to a movie, we go a store, all day we are together, and he still hasn’t given me my ring! He is driving me home, minutes before curfew. I get frustrated, while at a stop light at an intersection.)

    Me: “So are you going to ask me, or what?”

    Boyfriend: “Uh… Well, you wanna?”

    Me: “Yes! Duh!”

    (My boyfriend opens the center compartment in the car and hands me the ring box. Totally not romantic. And yet, it’s so us!)

    The Anti Rom-Com Ending

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Dating, Fights/Breakups, Top

    (A woman passes through airport security. She gathers her things and begins to leave the area. A man behind her in the line, still waiting to be scanned, starts calling out to her.)

    Man: “Wait! [Woman’s Name], wait! [Woman’s Name], you have the tickets! Wait!”

    TSA Agent: “Run, [Woman’s Name]! Now’s your chance!”

    Be Careful What You Christmas Wish For

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m sitting at home. I am messaging a long-time friend who lives in a different state. Many of my friends are very big ‘Doctor Who’ fans and I’ve resisted, because I know I’ll get addicted to the show. My boyfriend has commandeered my Xbox and queued the newer reboot of the series up on Netflix. We are about four episodes in when I message my friend again.)

    Me: “I want a sonic screwdriver for Christmas.”

    Friend: “Maybe if you ask [Boyfriend] reeeaaally nicely…”

    Boyfriend: *reading over my shoulder* “I’ll give you a screwdriver. It’s not going to be sonic, though.”

    Tries Not To Bat An Eyelid

    | West Point, NY, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I am one of those people who is always cold. My husband and I are snuggling in bed. I kiss him and he pulls away.)

    Husband: “Your nose is cold!”

    Me: “Sorry!”

    Husband: “You’re always so cold. You’re like Mr. Freeze.”

    (He is a big comic book fan, while I geek about different things.)

    Me: “I thought Mr. Freeze felt comfortable in the cold. I don’t; I like the heat. Doesn’t that make me more like Poison Ivy?”

    Husband: “Only going by the movies.”

    Me: “Don’t I get points for knowing Poison Ivy?”

    Husband: “Name one Batman villain NOT in the movies.”

    (He starts kissing me again, clearly working up to getting busy, when I blurt out.)

    Me: “Joe Chill!”

    Husband: “Seriously? It took you that long?”

    Me: “I was distracted…”

    A Time For Giving (Compliments)

    | Germany | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (My boyfriend and I are walking around the Christmas market and doing some window shopping. We come to a toy store that sells plush monsters, including a round unicorn. It is very soft and in neon colours.)

    Boyfriend: “Aw, that’s so cute! It is just as if it’s really fat and lies on the couch and says, ‘Give me cuddles! And food!’”

    Me: “Oh, do you like it? Should I buy it for you then?”

    Boyfriend: “Nah. Already have a similar one.”

    (My boyfriend laughs and plants a kiss on my forehead.)

    Me: *faking distress* “Oh, is this how you see me?”

    Boyfriend: “No. I like you and the unicorn.”

    Me: “So, should I buy it for you for Christmas, then? So you have two of us?”

    Boyfriend: *completely seriously* “Nah. Too ugly.”

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