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  • Having Trouble Exorcizing The Ex
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  • The Bores Of Household Chores

    | Fort Hood, TX, USA | Long Distance, Marriage & Partners

    (My husband is deployed and we are messaging online. He’s one of the older guys in his unit, so he often makes fun of the younger guys he oversees, for their naïve views on life.)

    Husband: “The guys were discussing what they think is sexy. These kids have no idea what sexy is. Most of them said, coming home to their wives who are wearing nothing but high heels, holding a beer in one hand, and a sandwich in the other.”

    Me: “Aww, I’m sure you gave them one of your patented ‘Wise Old Man’ lessons.”

    Husband: “Of course! I said the sexiest thing ever would be coming home to you naked, wearing your red high heels—”

    Me: “Of course you did.”

    Husband: “—standing in the kitchen you just cleaned, with a vacuum in one hand and a taco casserole in the other, with a basket of folded laundry at your feet, while emptying the dishwasher.”

    Can You Spell ‘Irony’?

    | CA, USA | Dating

    (After trying for several minutes to correctly spell one word in a post, I lose my temper.)

    Me: “Why can’t I spell ‘intelligence’?!”

    Boyfriend: “… I will refrain from giving the obvious answer.”

    The Zombie Apocalypse Is A Hairy Situation

    | Wellington, New Zealand | Dating

    (I have rather long hair, and while I really like it, sometimes it just annoys me. Because of this, my boyfriend often suggests that I just cut it off if it bothers me so much. I always say no, and he always pouts. We have just finished watching ‘Land of the Dead.’)

    Me: “Now, if the zombie apocalypse happened, the first thing I would do is cut my hair. There’d be no time to care for it, and nothing for the undead to grab.”

    Boyfriend: “Yes! Finally, a situation where you will cut your hair because it’s too annoying to handle!”

    Me: *rolls eyes* “Yes, sweetie. All you need to do is start a zombie apocalypse, and you’ll get your way.”

    Boyfriend: “Well…”

    Me: “No! You are not starting a zombie apocalypse just so you can get me to cut my hair!”

    Boyfriend: “Aww…”

    A Hair’s Breadth From Crossing The Line

    | Lyon, France | Dating, Fights/Breakups

    (Despite being in his early thirties, my boyfriend has been losing his hair for quite a long time now, and is pretty upset about it. As for me, I’m lucky enough to have very long and voluminous hair, and it is difficult to care for. One particular morning, my hair goes so messy I have to spend half an hour untangling it, and am running late for work.)

    Me: “Why won’t you let me cut my hair? I had to spend so much time on them that I’m late for work. I don’t want this anymore!”

    Boyfriend: “You should feel lucky to lose time over your hair.”

    Me: “… instead of losing my hair over time?”

    Boyfriend: “…”

    Me: *cheering*

    Boyfriend: “I feel very bad now, but I admit that was a pretty good one.”

    Sleeping With The Enemy

    | Elsah, IL, USA | Dating

    (I am hanging out with my boyfriend and his roommate. We are college students, so they literally share a room.)

    Boyfriend: “Hmm, who do I trust more, the person that I sleep with or my girlfriend?”

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