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    Has Status, But No Class

    | MI, USA | Dating, Young Love

    (It’s Valentine’s Day, and I’m spending it with the guy I’ve been seeing for a few months. Our relationship isn’t official, but I have a feeling he might be asking because he told me he had ‘specific plans’ for me. He gives me a flower and writes me a beautiful poem.)

    Him: “Oh, I have one more present for you. I’ll be right back!”

    Me: “Okay!”

    (He leaves the room for a few minutes and comes back with his phone.)

    Him: “Go check your Facebook!”

    Me: *confused* “Okay?”

    (I check Facebook and see he has listed himself in a relationship with me.)

    Me: “Did you seriously just ask me to be your girlfriend by making it “Facebook official?”

    Him: “… I thought it would be cute.”

    (Despite the impersonal cheesiness of it, I said yes, and we couldn’t be happier.)

    A Spoonful Of Pizza Helps The Beer Go Down

    | LA, USA | Dating, Family/Kids

    (My girlfriend temporarily lives with her aunt. Her mother, who lives out of state, is also visiting for a few weeks. We are Skyping.)

    Girlfriend: “I wasn’t in the mood to cook yesterday, [Aunt] was out on a date and mom was sick so we got pizza.”

    Me: “Ugh, what a way to spend a Saturday night. I hope your mom’s doing better?”

    Girlfriend: “Yeah. I checked up on her later, and brought her some pizza and a beer.”

    Me: “Wait… Your mom was sick in bed and you bring her pizza and beer?!”

    Girlfriend: “Uh, yeah? She was feeling better and getting her appetite back. She asked for a beer and some food, so I brought it to her. Why?”

    Me: “Nothing… but I think I feel a fever coming on. Can you swing by my place?”

    Pray For Eat, Love

    | Racine, WI, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancé and I are sitting in the same room on our respective computers.)

    Me: “I’m hungry.”

    Fiancé: “Well, what do you want to eat?”

    Me: “I don’t know.”

    Fiancé: “Do you want to go out and get something, or make something at home?”

    Me: “I don’t know. ”

    (A few minutes pass in silence before this happens.)

    Fiancé: “Are you hungry?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Fiancé: “Then you need to decide what to do about that.”

    (I grab his arm and start gnawing on his hand.)

    Fiancé: “No! You cannot eat me!”

    Me: “But you are tasty and good!”

    Fiancé: “I’m not tasty and good! I haven’t been covered in seven herbs and spices yet!”

    Me: “Yet? Does this mean we’re planning something fun later?”

    Fiancé: “No!”

    Ish-ful Thinking

    | IL, USA | Dating

    (I am discussing a scene in a TV show where a guy views forgetting his anniversary as a ‘life or death situation.’)

    Me: “Dear, when’s our anniversary?”

    Boyfriend: “Sometime in March-ish.”

    Me: *smiles*

    Boyfriend: “You don’t know either so this isn’t a life or death situation.”

    Me: “It is March-ish right now. If you find any flowers you know where to find me.”

    Boyfriend: “Well, happy anniversary-ish to us, then.”

    Me: “Yay!”

    Beauty Is Fleeting

    | MI, USA | Dating

    (I just got done making my boyfriend a couple of sandwiches because he asked so nicely. I hand him his sandwiches and he looks me in the eyes.)

    Boyfriend: *sings* “You are so beautiful to me…” *speaks* “Now get the h*** out of here!”

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