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  • Good Thing They Caught Each Other, Part 19
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  • Checking In And Checking Out

    | Paris, France | Flirting/How We Met

    (I’m standing in line at security.)

    TSA Guy: “Camera? Laptop? Email address?”

    Me: *confused* “I have a laptop.”

    TSA Guy: “Mobile phone? Mobile phone number?”

    Me: “Um… what?”

    (I end up getting sent back through after they find a DVD player in my bag that I forgot about.)

    TSA Guy: “I know you put that DVD player in there just so that you could see me again. My name is Antoine.”

    (It wasn’t until five minutes later that I understood what had been going on!)

    Acting Like A Dust Devil

    | Austin, TX, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I’m in my underwear, putting away freshly folded laundry. I accidentally back into a dusty room fan.)

    Me: “Honey, did I get dust on my a**?”

    (My husband enthusiastically pats my rear end.)

    Me: “So, I did?”

    Husband: *cheerfully* “Nope!”

    These Words Ring True

    | WA, USA | Dating, Engaged, Top

    (I am female. I have been planning proposing to my boyfriend for months. I buy a ring that is perfect and come up with the idea of a cheesy clichéd proposal on Christmas. I write out a ton of stuff that we say to each other (mostly ‘meow’ and ‘bark’) on about six and one-half feet of ribbon. I tuck it in his stocking with the intention of telling him there is a present in there. However, one of our pets gets a hold of it, and my boyfriend notices the ribbon hanging out.)

    Boyfriend: “Baby?”

    (He pulls a bit of the ribbon out, reads a little bit, and starts just pulling all of it out.)

    Me: *panicked* “READ IT! YOU HAVE TO READ IT! ALL OF IT!”

    (He reads it, gets to the end and finds the ring tied to the end.)

    Boyfriend: *reading* “In Brightest Meow, in Blackest Bark, To Infinimeow and Barkyond, I will follow you to the ends of Middle Earth, To Gallifrey and Back, To Live Long and Prosper, With this One Ring, Will You Marry Me?”

    (He looks up at me, smiling.)

    Boyfriend: “Of course I will!

    Me: “You weren’t supposed to find it yet… I’m not even wearing pants!”

    A Titanic Save, Part 2

    | MD, USA | Dating, Fights/Breakups

    (My boyfriend and I are chatting online.)

    Boyfriend: “My legs are cramping up.” *moves into a sideways reclining position*

    Me: “Paint me like one of your French girls!”

    Boyfriend: *pouts* “I don’t have any French girls…”

    Me: “You say that like it’s a BAD thing!”

    Related:
    A Titanic Save

    Caught You Off Gourd

    | Australia | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are about to get intimate.)

    Me: “I just want to put you in a watermelon juicer and drain you of all your juices and sip up all your milk like a boost juice.”

    Boyfriend: “I want to cut you up like a pumpkin and roast you!”

    Me: *horrified*

    Boyfriend: “Wow… That’s not very sexy is it?”


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