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    A Fan Of Her Aft Section

    | OR, USA | Dating

    (I’m just gotten out of the bath. I am leaning over the bed, petting one of our pets. I am not wearing anything. My boyfriend is in the living room, talking on his phone to someone from work. He walks in and sees me. He is an avid sailor.)

    Boyfriend: “You have such good lines.”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Boyfriend: “Like a boat. You have good lines like a sailboat. I want to put my mast in you.”

    Me: “Drop anchor!”

    Till Breast Do You Part, Part 2

    | Vancouver, BC, USA | Dating

    (It’s getting late in the day. My boyfriend and I are still in bed.) Me: “We should really get up.”

    Boyfriend: “We really should.”

    (My boyfriend starts cuddling and groping me, especially my boobs.)

    Me: “Those are not the actions of a man who intends to get out of bed.”

    Boyfriend: “These are not the breasts of a woman I intend to let get out of bed.”

    Me: “I could leave them here with you and get up myself.”

    Boyfriend: “No. They’re no fun without you attached.”

    Me: “You crazed romantic you.”

    i>Related: Till Breast Do You Part

    Buckets Of Love

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I recently brought home a new kitten we named Buckets. I often tease him that Buckets is definitely his son, as they can both be somewhat gassy. We are sitting in my car at the drive-in movie theater. My boyfriend looks over at me to see me making a scrunched-up focused face for reasons as of yet unknown to him.)

    Boyfriend: “You’re a pretty lady.”

    Me: *proudly* “I farted!”

    Boyfriend: “…you’re a less pretty lady.”

    Me: “Aww, Buckets farts all the time!”

    Boyfriend: “Yeah, but Buckets is ADORABLE!”

    These Zombies Double Tap You

    | Sweden | Marriage & Partners

    (It is just before Halloween. My husband and I are discussing costumes. My husband starts his best zombie imitation.)

    Husband: “Boobs, boooobs…”

    Me: “Aren’t you supposed to say brains?”

    Husband: “Nope. This zombie just wants boobs, not brains.”

    Me: “Oh. So, just like every other guy then…”

    Pursuing Love Una-bait-ed

    | USA | Dating

    (I’m hanging with some friends. Friend #1, who is a guy, starts throwing one end of his scarf at Friend #2, who is a girl and is completely ignoring the scarf.)

    Friend #3: “[Friend #1], what are you doing?”

    Friend #1: “Fishing for women.”

    Friend #3: “How is it going?”

    Friend #1: “Still single.”

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