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    Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 12

    | London, England, UK | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I have a deal that I cook and he does dishes. He was diagnosed with IBS, meaning he’s often gassy.)

    Boyfriend: “Oh, no, open a window!”

    Me: *acting distressed* “You farted again?!”

    Boyfriend: “It’s your fault for making fart-food!” *pause* “Or, as it’s normally called, food!”

    Related:
    Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 11
    Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 10
    Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 9

    My Fair Lady

    | NJ, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I are both avid gamers of various genres, including fighting games. Many of them feature characters that either have very strong single-hit-supers, or long complicated chain attacks. For some reason he thinks using combo chains is “cheating” even though it’s the designed game mechanic.)

    Husband: “Man, when did you get bad at this?!”

    Me: “Well, I’ve been working while you haven’t. You’ve gotten to play more than me!”

    Husband: “Yeah, but you used to at least put up a fight!”

    Me: “That was before you ‘banned’ me from playing anyone I was GOOD at!”

    Husband: “Oh, come on. I’m not that bad.”

    Me: “We got into a 30 minute fight because you said I was ‘cheating’ when I wasn’t even trying hard. Besides there’s like five different chain-breakers on your guy alone!”

    Husband: “You’re just exaggerating. Come on. Pick [my BEST character] and I’ll show you!”

    Me: “Only if you promise not to get upset if I win because you refuse to learn how to deal with combos.”

    Husband: “I promise.”

    (Cut to three rounds later where I win each one, despite taking it easy and despite actually telling him how to beat me.)

    Husband: “IT’S NOT FAIR!”

    Me: “So wait, it IS fair when you beat me 20 times in a row when you’re forcing me to play your way, but it’s NOT fair when I just use another style!?”

    Husband: “There’s absolutely no way to stop any of that!”

    (I go back to the main screen, pick ‘training’, and pick the FIRST OPTION, ‘Combos and Combo Breaking.’)

    Me: “Run that a few times. I’m gonna go make dinner.”

    Not In A Superposition To Argue

    | Belgium | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are having dinner. We’re currently trying to have a family and at this point I might be pregnant. However, we don’t know yet.)

    Me: “There’s too much broccoli on my plate.”

    Boyfriend: “You still should eat it, for the maybe baby.”

    Me: “Honey, we don’t even know if I’m pregnant yet.”

    Boyfriend: “That means the baby is both alive and dead right now. So, your womb is like Schrödingers box!”

    I Noticed…

    themetapicture.com_bunch-of-weirdos

    Should Have Been Circumspect

    | Boston, MA, USA | Dating

    (While my boyfriend and I are watching TV, the show that’s on mentions circumcision.)

    Me: “I’m glad you’re circumcised. Uncircumcised penises just look so… sad.”

    Boyfriend: “I’m not circumcised.”

    Me: “What? Yes, you are.”

    Boyfriend: “Wait, is that what that line on my penis is?”

    (He honestly did not know he was circumcised, and had always feared that his penis had been pieced together in a surgery his parents had neglected to tell him about.)


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