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  • Very Soppy Soup
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  • Their Love Is Shiny

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (My boyfriend and I are on the phone late at night for our good night call. We’re both really tired and I’m starting to drift asleep.)

    Me: “You know how you make me feel, hon…?” *I pause and, in my head, think I’ve described a romantic setting. In fact, I have said nothing* “Fireflies.”

    Boyfriend: “F-fireflies”? I make you feel like fireflies?”

    Me: *jerking fully awake* “Oh, my god! I meant to say that speaking with you like this makes me feel like we’re lying on a grassy hill on a cool summer evening watching fireflies fly around above us!”

    Boyfriend: “… So… fireflies?”

    Me: *still laughing* “Yes, honey, fireflies.”

    (We now call points of exhaustion at night when we’re really, super tired “Firefly Point”.)

    The Outcome Was Shiny
    Their Marriage Is Shiny

    You’re His Dream Woman

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s early morning, and my boyfriend and I are both dozing on his bed. I’m almost asleep when…)

    Boyfriend: “You know, I love you.”

    (It’s not something we tell each other very often, so when we do say it, we both know we mean it.)

    Me: “Awww! I love you, too!”

    (I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy, until I notice his eyes aren’t actually open. I can’t help but ask.)

    Me: “Um… are you awake right now?”

    Boyfriend: “Nope!”

    Even The Tardis Can’t Go There

    | Mountain Home, AK, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are at a restaurant eating soup, and I look up and happen to notice he’s staring down my shirt. I put my hand over my cleavage.)

    Me: “What are you doing?”

    Boyfriend: “I’m not doing anything!”

    (He pointedly looks away and I go back to eating my soup. Not even five seconds later I look up and he’s just staring down my shirt again. I put my hand over my cleavage again.)

    Me: “Not doing anything?”

    Boyfriend: “… I’m… staring into all of space and time!”

    Has No Beef With A Breakup

    | WA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I have only been seeing each other for about four months. I introduce him to a local Brazilian steakhouse, and we’ve decided that we’re going to go there semi-regularly because their food is amazing. He tends to say very strange things when we’re there, because the tastiness of the food and the ambiance of the place just put him in a weird state of mind. He’s just said something else weird, and this conversation follows.)

    Me: *having just noticed there is a five-year-old seated behind me* “You tend to say a lot of weird crap when we’re here.”

    Boyfriend: “I think this place just kind of puts me in a no-filter state of mind.”

    Me: “So… it puts your mind somewhere near mine?” *laughs* “Because we both know that I can censor myself. I just don’t particularly care to most of the time.”

    Boyfriend: “Wait, what other weird stuff have I said here?”

    Me: “Last time you said you thought this was the kind of place that you could get dumped in and not even care.”

    Boyfriend: “Oh yeah. Well, it’s true!” *taking a bite of steak* “Even if you and I aren’t together anymore, I’d still have a soft spot for you for introducing me to this place.”

    Me: *laughing* “There you go again. It is a nice place, though. We should bring your parents here next time they’re in town.”

    Boyfriend: “My dad would love this place more than I do, I think. But I love this place, and I love the person who brought me here!” *smiling*

    (Neither of us had said ‘I love you’ yet, and that was certainly the last thing I was expecting to hear!)

    Not Quite Putting Your Best Foot Forward

    | NY, USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (My boyfriend goes to bed quite early, while I tend to be more of a night person. I’m frequently in bed reading or on my computer for several hours after he’s already gone to sleep.)

    Boyfriend: *groggily* “Was I asleep?”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Boyfriend: “Oh. Well, you’re pretty. All of you. Even your feeties.”

    Me: “My what?”

    Boyfriend: “Sexual feeties!” *with that, he rolls over and goes back to sleep*

    (The next morning he asked me if he had really said ‘sexual feeties.’ For what it’s worth, he definitely does not have a foot fetish!)

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