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  • Bit Off More Than They Could Chew
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    He Knows All, Period, Part 3

    | USA | Dating, Top

    (I get awful period cramps. I’m on the couch, curled up in pain, when my boyfriend gets home.)

    Me: “Baaaaaabbbbeeee!”

    Boyfriend: *pull out a tub of ice cream* “Want a spoon?”

    Me: “… Marry me?”

    He Knows All, Period, Part 2
    He Knows All, Period

    The Real Crux Of The Issue

    | Fort Walton Beach, FL, USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (My gentleman friend is trying to find something on my kitchen table, and in the process drops and breaks my George Foreman grill. His eyes go wide and immediately apologizes.)

    Friend: “Oh, man. I am so sorry. I will get you a new one. But that one was obviously a horcrux and I just saved all of our lives.”

    Me: “So you are telling me that my grill actually contained a piece of a dark wizard’s soul?”

    Friend: “Yes… Yes, it did.”

    Me: “Sounds legit. Thank you for saving me!”

    (He’s a keeper!)

    A Desolate Beauty

    | Poland | Dating, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I’m on my second date with a girl I’ve met recently. We go to the cinema to see ‘The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug’ together. The movie has just ended.)

    Me: “You know… This whole movie kinda set me on a mood to watch a The Lord Of The Rings marathon.”

    Girl: “But the extended edition would last twelve hours!”

    Me: “I mean, I know it’s a lot, but these movies are quite awesome.”

    Girl: “Except for the parts of Brokeback Mount Doom.”

    Me: “Well, yeah, but…”

    Girl: “Why don’t we do a marathon of Star Wars instead?”

    (Yup, she’s a keeper.)

    Breakfast On Bed

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Friends With Benefits

    (My best friend and I have a bit of a ‘friends with benefits’ situation. One morning after we have had sex, he wakes me up with an obnoxious ringtone.)

    Friend: “Get up, or we’ll be late for work!”

    Me: “I need breakfast first.”

    (He tosses a fast food bag at me.)

    Friend: “Bon appétit.”

    Me: “You should know that this is the least romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.”

    Friend: “Good!”

    March Themed Story Giveaway: He/She’s A Keeper!

    | Not Always Romantic | Announcements, Theme Of The Month
    Want to win A Not Always Romantic t-shirt?
    Enter March Themed Story Giveaway: He/She’s A Keeper!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about a moment you (or someone else) realized they were someone you wanted to get serious with — “the one”!
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Romantic shop!

    PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning February’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Valentine’s Day. The winning submission: Ex-Box, Part 2 (202 thumbs up).

    PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, April 2!

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