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    Hard-Core Hugging

    | London, England, UK | Dating

    (My girlfriend and I have been kissing passionately for the last few minutes. She lays her head on my chest and hugs me in a manner that I recognise as ‘let’s just cuddle.’)

    Me: “I recognise that hug!”

    Girlfriend: “What? No! I, uh… I wish you could have penetrative cuddling.”

    Sorry Seems To Be The Most Frequent Word

    | WA, USA | Dating, Family/Kids

    (I’m going to pick my boyfriend up after class. I’m in the hallway where we are supposed to meet, and I don’t see him. An administrator walks up to me.)

    Administrator: “Hi, you look lost. Can I help you find something?”

    Me: “I’m trying to find my boyfriend. We’re supposed to meet here.”

    Administrator: “Well I’m not sure if I can help you out with that.”

    (Just then, my boyfriend walks out of his classroom. He waves to me, and heads our way.)

    Me: “There he is!”

    Administrator: “You’re dating [Boyfriend's Name]? Oh honey, I am so sorry! Call me sometime; we’ll talk.”

    (It turned out she has been a friend of his family for years. The scary thing? She’s not the first one to say that about him!)

    Breast Awareness

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Dating

    (I have a fairly disproportionately large chest about which I am a touch self-conscious.)

    Me: “I shouldn’t have worn this shirt like this. It makes my boobs look huge.”

    Boyfriend: “No it doesn’t.”

    Me: “Really?”

    Boyfriend: “No, your boobs make your boobs look huge.”

    Truly Hiding In Books

    | Boston, MA, USA | Flirting/How We Met, Marriage & Partners, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I started talking to my now-fiancé in college because he asked to borrow books from me, and then wanted to discuss them with me. Eight years later, we are getting married.)

    Me: “I’m kind of worn out talking to all these people.”

    Fiancé: “But it’s our wedding! They came to celebrate with us; we have to talk to them.”

    Me: “But I’m tired! There are so many people!”

    Fiancé: “You know… we did bring our books…”

    Me: *kissing him* “Hi, will you marry me?”

    Fiancé: “I thought that’s what I just did!”

    (We spent half an hour hiding in a back room of the church, reading our books together at our own wedding!)

    The Key To Remembering

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Dating

    (My girlfriend and I are getting ready to go out for the evening. We leave the house, I lock the door, and we get into my car. I am in the process of backing out of the driveway.)

    Girlfriend: “Honey, do you have your keys?”

    (I look at her a long moment, then look down at the ignition of my car, then back at her.)

    Girlfriend: “…right. This is going on ‘Not Always Romantic’ isn’t it?”

    Me: “It most certainly is.”

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