(My boyfriend and I are playing ‘Password’, with us against his mom and step-dad. It’s our turn.)

Boyfriend: “Object.”

(I try to think of what the heck that could be a clue for, and draw a blank.)

Me: “…Thing?”

Boyfriend: *stares* “Yeah! Were you reading my mind again?!”

(My girlfriend and I are cuddling and talking about going away for the summer after I graduate.)

Me: “We should travel around Asia, because I’ve been to the U.S. and between the two of us we’ve seen most of Europe. We should visit all the countries in Asia, like China, Cambodia, Japan, Hong Kong…”

Girlfriend: “S.A.R.”

Me: “What?”

Girlfriend: “Special Administrative Region. Hong Kong isn’t a country, it’s a Special
Administrative Region of China, like Macau. Although it was under British control until 1997, and still has a separate political system from China. They do speak Chinese though. Well, Cantonese.”

(Long silence.)

Girlfriend: “Can we go get Chinese food now?”

Related:
Dating Amy Farrah-Fowler
Dating Sheldon Cooper, Part 6
Dating Sheldon Cooper, Part 5
Married To Sheldon Cooper, Part 2
Married To Sheldon Cooper
Dating Sheldon Cooper, Part 4
Dating Sheldon Cooper, Part 3
Dating Sheldon Cooper, Part 2
Dating Sheldon Cooper

(My boyfriend is eating pudding and enjoying it way too much.)

Me: “Can pudding be my new nickname?”

Boyfriend: “No.”

Me: “Why not? Don’t you love me?”

Boyfriend: “I do love you, but me and pudding go way back.”

Husband: *via text message* “I miss you a metric ton. That’s 1000 lbs of missing you!”

Me: “No, it’s not.”

Related:
It Will Be Kilo-Hours Before He Gets It
From NotAlwaysRight

(I had a baby less than a week ago and my breasts are very engorged.)

Husband: *poking my chest* “Engorgio!”

Me: “What?”

Husband: *pokes me again* “Engorgio!”

Me: “Are you trying to make them bigger?”

Husband: “Yeah, I guess it doesn’t work if they’re already engorged.”

Me: “I love you, but you’re a total nerd.”

Related
Totally, Like, Avada-Kedavra
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(from NotAlwaysRight):
Totally, Like, Aguamenti
Totally, Like, Excruciatus

(After giving me a romantic massage with fancy massage oil, my husband and I pile into the shower to wash off. As he’s soaping my back for me, I hear him start to sing.)

Husband: “Workin’ at the car wash. Workin’ at the car wash, yeah!”

(My wife is trying to be somewhat romantic. She puts whipped cream on her finger, and offers it to me. I try to sensually lick it off of her finger.)

Wife: “I hope that’s not the finger I used to dig out my ear…”

(I’ve had my hair cut over the weekend and am showing my new ‘do’ to my long-distance boyfriend over Skype.)

Boyfriend: “Oh. My. God. What did you do?!”

Me: “Don’t you like it?”

Boyfriend: “Never said I didn’t, but it’s so… short.”

Me: *laughing* “Does it pass the boyfriend test?”

Boyfriend: “Whether it passes or not is irrelevant, because clearly you always do whatever you want anyway.”

Me: “Do not.”

Boyfriend: “I want you to dye your hair.”

Me: “Shut up!”

Boyfriend: “See? You never listen to me! What kind of girlfriend are you?!”