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    This Back To Front Conversation Came From Left Field

    | CA, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancée has just come home for her lunch break. I am not scheduled for work, so I am doing my laundry. This exchange happens when I am about to pull my stuff out of the dryer.)

    Me: “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

    Fiancée: “All right. I’ll be left front.”

    Me: “…Wait, what?”

    Fiancée: *giggling* “I said, I’ll be left front.”

    Me: “…Left front?”

    Fiancée: “Yep!”

    Me: *laughing* “You know, I don’t take kindly to you left front types.”

    Fiancée: “Oh, c’mon! You said you’d be right back, so I had to be something!”

    Me: “Fine, then. I’ll also be ambidextrous in between.”

    Fiancée: “Okay, then I’m also illegible on top!”

    Maybe It’s Maybe

    | CA, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancée and I are on our respective computers when I suddenly hear her humming. Recognizing the song, I turn to look at her.)

    Me: “Were you just humming Maybe from Annie?”

    Fiancée: “…maybe.”

    (She swore that she had not thought of the joke beforehand.)

    Hooked On Class

    | NY, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are going to Las Vegas on vacation the following week. Because of this we end up discussing prostitutes, and this prompts a theoretical question.)

    Me: “Do you think I would make money as a hooker?”

    Boyfriend: “Maybe in [sketchy neighborhood in the city].”

    Me: *indignant* “Really? So, no one would pay for me in a nice part of town? Are you saying I’m not high class or something?”

    Boyfriend: “Okay, okay. I take it back; you would make money as a hooker anywhere you set your mind to.”

    Me: *pats his hand* “That’s better, thank you.”

    Boyfriend: “We’re the only couple I know who would get into an argument because I doubted your potential as a prostitute.”

    Needs To Take A Chill Pill(ow)

    | GA, USA | Dating

    (My girlfriend and I have just finished being intimate. She’s lying with her head on my shoulder and we’re drowsing, about to fall asleep.)

    Girlfriend: “What do you want to do tomorrow?”

    Me: “Don’t know; don’t care; want to sleep…”

    Girlfriend: “Come on, talk to me.”

    Me: “No, want sleep.”

    Girlfriend: “But you know I like pillow talk. Talk to me!”

    Me: “So talk to the pillow. I’m sleeping…”

    (I don’t remember a word of this conversation. She gave me a hard time about it for days after.)

    Alter-ing The Outcome

    | Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Engaged

    (My fiancé and I are in bed. I am watching a DVD of ‘Downton Abbey.’ One of the characters has just been jilted at the altar. We are due to marry in six months time.)

    Me: *turns to fiancé* “Don’t even think about it!”

    Fiancé: “I wouldn’t walk out like that. I’d be on rollerblades!”

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