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  • Not In A Rush To Have Another One
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  • Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 12

    | Avon, NY, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I are lying in bed and I have been making zerbert/raspberry ‘fart’ noises on his neck. We have only been married a couple of weeks. After a few minutes of being silly, I am ready to get up and be productive.)

    Me: “Okay, honey, time to get up. Can I ‘fart’ on you one more time?”

    Husband: “No, let’s fart together! It will be more romantic.” *grabs me and pulls me on top of him*

    (He has not been doing zerberts/raspberries on me, so I am momentarily confused. Then, he lets a real one rip.)

    Me: *too stunned to do anything* “What was that?”

    Husband: “A fart. Did I do it too soon?”

    Me: *starts laughing*

    Husband: *confused* “What?”

    Me: “Did you just real fart?”

    Husband: *catching on* “Oh… you didn’t mean that?”

    Me: *still laughing* “No! I meant the raspberry farts I was doing on your neck!”

    Husband: “…oh.” *a little embarrassed* “I thought it’d be romantic.”

    Me: “To fart together? You saved all you weird for when we got married, didn’t you?”

    Husband: *dejected* “I still think it would’ve been romantic…”

    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 11
    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 10
    Love Isn’t The Only Thing In The Air, Part 9

    Buns Of Atheism

    | Chapel Hill, NC, USA | Dating

    (We’re getting ready for a cosplay convention. My boyfriend has put his hand on my butt.)

    Boyfriend: “I’m touching your butt.”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Boyfriend: “God is real.”

    Me: “No, he’s not.”

    Boyfriend: “Then how do you explain this?”

    Me: “Poor judgment?”

    Not The Best Pee-sition

    | BC, Canada | Dating

    (My boyfriend normally dislikes being overly affectionate, even when we’re alone. We are in the middle of sex when he stops suddenly.)

    Me: “What is it?”

    Boyfriend: “I’m sorry. I really need to pee.”

    Me: *a little disappointed* “Oh, okay.”

    Boyfriend: *with sudden tenderness* “Don’t worry; I’ll hold it for you!”

    Me: “No! Go pee!”

    Not In A Rush To Have Another One

    | St Paul, MN, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I’ve just had a baby the day before, and I’m about to take my first post-birthing shower.)

    Me: “I’m hitting the showers. Yell in if the baby wakes up.”

    Partner: “You need any help? I can scrub your back…”

    Me: *stares at him a moment* “Was that really a come on? Right now? I am the least sexy person on the planet right now!”

    Partner: *looks square at me and speaks deadly seriously* “You are not Rush Limbaugh.”

    (I think I’ll keep him for more than making cute babies.)

    Lucky In Love Outweighs All Others

    | Israel | Dating

    (My girlfriend has just beaten me at a card game again, which I have introduced her to.)

    Me: “I never win at anything anymore.”

    Girlfriend: “Yeah, you do!”

    Me: “What was the last thing I won at?”

    Girlfriend: “You got the best girlfriend!”

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