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    Creepiest Pillow Talk

    | Novi, MI, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are in his bed snuggling. I’m sitting up against the wall, and he has his head in my lap laying on my thigh.)

    Boyfriend: “Your thigh is just the best pillow ever. If you die before me, I’m going to commission someone to taxidermy it so I can use it as a pillow forever!”

    Me: “I’m not sure if that was incredibly creepy or incredibly romantic.”

    Thinking Heavy But Bouncy Thoughts

    | Henrietta, NY, USA | Engaged

    (My fiancé and I are on a car ride. I have been staring silently out the window for a couple minutes.)

    Fiancé: *somewhat concerned* “What are you thinking about?”

    Me: “Boobs.”

    Fiancé: “What?!”

    Me: “Well, I was thinking about my friend who has ‘J’-size boobs. She has to get her bras custom-made. Each of her boobs is the size of my head. I was just thinking how uncomfortable it would be to have boobs the size of my head.”

    Fiancé: “…so, boobs.”

    Me: “Yup.”

    Fiancé: “I thought you were thinking of something really deep with how focused you look.”

    Me: “Nope. When it doubt, I’m probably thinking about boobs.”

    He Knows All, Period, Part 4

    | Oxford, England, UK | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I have flopped out on the bed. My period has just started and I’ve got cramps. My husband is always saying I shouldn’t be so hard on myself.)

    Me: “My uterus has started its monthly campaign of hate.”

    Husband: “It’s not hate!”

    Me: “Yes it is. It’s hate. It hates me.”

    Husband: “It’s not hate. It’s… mild rebellion!”

    (I’m not convinced he understands how painful it can be, but I appreciate him trying to make me love my body.)

    Related:
    He Knows All, Period, Part 3
    He Knows All, Period, Part 2
    He Knows All, Period

    Good Clean Gaming

    | Plano, TX, USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m chatting with my girlfriend online about a video game she recently got, ‘Bravely Default.’ One of the characters in the game is called ‘Ringabel.’)

    Girlfriend: “I want the girls to be an awesome warrior. But ‘rinsable’ is a good warrior.”

    Girlfriend: “And I see the autocorrect, but it’s hilarious. He shall be here fore known as ‘Rinsable.’”

    Me: “Well… at least it’s safe to put him in a dishwasher.”

    She’ll Make A Man Out Of You

    | Newark, DE, USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (My boyfriend and I make phone calls daily. We are in our late teens and have a fair amount of maturity, but we are also huge nerds. One day he calls while I’m listening to ‘Reflection’ from ‘Mulan.’ Our conversation drifts toward strong female characters in books and movies.)

    Me: “It’s kind of funny. Just before you called I was listening to music from Mulan, and she’s, like, the most bad-a** female character, in my opinion. She’s so small and dainty, and she was just trying to find a husband to fulfill her parents wishes, but then she’s like: ‘nope, I’m gonna go off to war.’”

    Boyfriend: *trying to sound coy and romantic* “Well, honey, you’re a girl worth fighting for.”

    Me: “Aww.”

    Boyfriend: “But knowing you, you’d be in the thick of the fighting.”

    Me: “…yeah.” *totally not thinking before I speak again* “Fear me! I have boobs and will take you down with a wooden stick!”

    Boyfriend: *laughing uncontrollably for a good minute* “You have no idea how awesome you are, sweetheart.”


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