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  • Thinking Inches Apart
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    Dating Young Chicks

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Dating, Fights/Breakups

    (I am snuggling up to my boyfriend while we go to sleep. I am a terrible sleeper, and can never stay still. My arm’s going from his shoulder, to his hip, to his head, etc…)

    Boyfriend: “Find a place to perch.”

    Me: “I can’t.”

    Boyfriend: “Then get off the d*** roost!”

    Pundering This Relationship

    | TX, USA | Marriage & Partners, Theme Of The Month

    (My husband cringes at puns, and I occasionally make some really bad ones.)

    Me: *tells joke*

    (He cringes.)

    Husband: “I love you. I reeeaally love you.”

    Me: “I know!”

    Husband: “I wasn’t telling you that; I was reminding myself.”

    He Knows All, Period

    | Birmingham, England, UK | Family/Kids, Marriage & Partners, Theme Of The Month

    (I’ve just got back from the doctors, having been told I’m pregnant. I text my husband about it, who I expect it to be a surprise for.)

    Me: “Hey, honey! Hope you’re having a good day. I have some news for you when you get home.”

    Husband: “You’re pregnant.”

    Me: “Yes! Wait, how did you know?”

    Husband: “I KNOW ALL. Also, you didn’t have your period.”

    Me: “…how did you know that?”

    Husband: “I KNOW ALL. Also I’ve found it prudent to know when you’re likely to bite my head off.”

    Dropped The Pick-Up

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Dating, Flirting/How We Met

    (My boyfriend is drunk, and has decided to seduce me.)

    Boyfriend: “Where have you been all my… last 10 minutes?”

    (I burst into hysterics.)

    Boyfriend: “Don’t laugh at my sexy; I’m being sexy.”

    Me: “Oh, yes, very good.”

    Boyfriend: “This is going on Not Always Romantic, isn’t it?”

    Me: “Yep.”

    (He falls onto the bed beside me and pouts.)

    Boyfriend: “Can you at least say the pick up line worked?”

    Old-School Romance Meets Pre-School Romantics

    | MI, USA | Family/Kids, Top, Young Love

    (I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)

    Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”

    Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”

    Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”

    Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”

    (I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)

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