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  • Not In A Rush To Have Another One
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  • Send Her Away With Swarm Wishes

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Dating

    (My boyfriend has just finished telling me all about the new Starcraft game.)

    Me: “Would you still love me if I were the Queen of Blades?”

    Boyfriend: “Depends. Did you massacre all those people?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Boyfriend: “Then it’s questionable. Would you still look like a giant bug?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Boyfriend: “Then no; you’d have to go off with the swarm.”

    Me: “And you could come with me! You could be the King of Blades!”

    Boyfriend: “No! I’m not hanging out with the swarm. You don’t play the game; you don’t know what the swarm’s like.”

    Me: “I do know; I’m the Queen of Blades.”

    Boyfriend: “Then you’re a giant bug.”

    Me: “No. I’m a lady bug.”

    Boyfriend: “Still a bug, and I wouldn’t stay with you.”

    Me: “You’re a terrible person.”

    Boyfriend: “At least I’m a person, bug woman.”

    Invested In You

    | Manila, Philippines | Dating, Fights/Breakups, Theme Of The Month

    (My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot recently. He is a Business Economics major in college.)

    Me: “I don’t even know why you care! Just leave me alone!”

    Boyfriend: “Because you’re my long-term asset! You’re just on a downward trend; I know you have some gains. I have faith in your stock!”

    Highbrow About The Eyebrow

    | UK | Dating

    (I have just started lampworking, which involves making glass beads using a torch with an open flame. I’m discussing it with my boyfriend.)

    Me: “Will you still love me if I singe my eyebrows off?”

    (He laughs for a bit, then pauses thoughtfully.)

    Boyfriend: “Only if I get to draw them back on.”

    Me: “Deal.”

    Say Zip About The Zit, Part 2

    | ON, Canada | Dating, Long Distance

    (My partner lives an hour away, so I only see him on weekends. It’s the day after he left from a weekend visit, and we’re texting.)

    Me: “I miss you already. I wish my big and strong man were here.”

    Boyfriend: “Aww. I miss you too.”

    Me: “Yeah. I have this gigantic zit on my back that really hurts. I can’t reach it, and my roommate is too grossed out by my request for him to pop it for me.”

    Related:
    Say Zip About The Zit

    Mutual Feelings Of Neutral Feelings

    | USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (My boyfriend and I are long distance, and haven’t been dating long. We have both agreed that saying ‘I love you’ is not right for our situation. We are just finishing up an online chat.)

    Boyfriend: “I wish there was a thing I could end the conversation, that isn’t the thing that I really shouldn’t say. But saying ‘I like you’ at the end of a conversation sounds stupid.”

    Me: “I agree.”

    Boyfriend: “There’s no middle ground! Well, I have to go. I middle ground you!”


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