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    How Modern Relationships Are Like(d)

    | Ypsilanti, MI, USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (I’ve been casually seeing this guy for about 6 months, and while everyone around us considers us in a relationship, he doesn’t want to put a title on us. I often joke with him that as soon as he calls me his girlfriend, I’m making it Facebook official. We are in love, but he rarely says it. For a combination Valentine’s Day and birthday gift, I am buying him a Samsung Galaxy S3, which he has been drooling over for a couple of months.)

    Him: “I freaking love you. Like, seriously, I mean that. I love you.”

    Me: *grinning* “So that’s all it took for you to tell me you love me sans alcohol?”

    Him: “No! Yes… I guess I should change our Facebook status now.”

    Me: “Are you… did you… OH MY GOD!”

    Him: *sighs* “Yes. You bought me a $500 phone, so I suppose I can call you my girlfriend now.”

    (We changed our status that night.)

    Taking Cold Comfort In Your Relationship

    | Jacksonville, AR, USA | Marriage & Partners, Theme Of The Month

    (About a year ago, our comforter ripped in the wash and had to be thrown out. Since then, we’ve been sleeping with a heavy blanket on the bed. Up until this point, our opposite tastes have prevented us from agreeing on a comforter set. I’ve been trying furiously to find one because my husband is a HUGE cover hog and this winter has been miserable for me.)

    Husband: “I want you to pick out your favorite comforter set and send me a link.”

    (Valentine’s Day is next week and even though it would be a gift to me, I pick out a set that I really like and that I think he would tolerate. I email it to him.)

    Husband: *chuckles* “This is a test, isn’t it?”

    Me: *frown*

    Husband: “REALLY?!”

    A Bovine Valentine

    | Gloucester, England, UK | Dating, Long Distance, Theme Of The Month

    (Our relationship is long distance and my boyfriend is on webcam at his friend’s house. It’s Valentine’s Day and he’s been calling me a cow, and I’ve been calling him a yak all night, but others are unaware we’re just joking.)

    Boyfriend: *very sarcastically* “This is so fun. You should plan this again for next Valentine’s Day, cow.”

    Boyfriend’s Friend: *laughs, a little shocked* “Well gee, [boyfriend's name], I love you too! What a wonderful relationship!”

    Me: “What do you expect from a yak?”

    Don’t Not Love Me Not

    | USA | Engaged, Top

    (I am helping my fiancé clean up his room a little when I find a notebook I recognize.)

    Me: “Hey, I found your dream book!”

    Fiancé: “My what?”

    Me: “Your dream book. I saw it the first time I visited your house. You asked me not to look in it because you had written down some dreams you had with me and you didn’t want me to read them.”

    Fiancé: “Oh, yeah, you never told me what you thought of those dreams.”

    Me: “What?”

    Fiancé: “Wait, you mean you didn’t read it anyway after I left the room?”

    Me: “No, why?”

    Fiancé: “I had no idea! I wrote a love letter to you on the first page thinking you would instantly start reading after I told you not too.”

    Me: “But… I love you. I didn’t want you to get mad at me for looking at it after you asked me not too!”

    Fiancé: “Well then read it! It’s really romantic!”

    Me: “Okay… but the next time you want me to do something, don’t tell me not to do it!”

    Well P’laid

    | USA | Engaged, Family/Kids, Top

    (I get to see my fiancé once every two months but we make it work despite the distance and having a one year old daughter. We are snuggling on the couch.)

    Me: “You know, we haven’t had any intimate time yet and the baby just went down for the night.”

    Fiancé: “But my parents are still up.”

    Me: “They are in their room. We’ll just be quiet.”

    (We start kissing when his parents burst into the living room.)

    Fiancé’s Dad: “Hey, we just finished this movie. Do you guys want to watch it before we return it tomorrow?”

    Me: “No, thank you. We watched it earlier.”

    (My fiancé’s mom realizes we are trying to have some alone time but his dad doesn’t quite get it.)

    Fiancé’s Dad: “Really? What did you think of it? I didn’t think it was as funny as everyone says it is.”

    Fiancé’s Mom: “Honey, it’s getting kind of late. Let’s just go to bed.”

    Fiancé’s Dad: “It’s not that late.”

    Fiancé’s Mom: “Well, we should probably leave the kids alone.”

    Fiancé’s Dad: “I just want to talk about the movie.”

    Fiancé’s Mom: “Your son is trying to get laid!”

    Fiancé’s Dad: “Oh… Oh! Have fun you two. We’ll turn the TV up.”

    (They leave the room and a few moments later we hear their TV blare to life from down the hall.)

    Fiancé: *as if nothing happened, he starts kissing my neck* “Are you ready for this?”

    Me: “Hold on, I need time to get over how weird that was.”


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