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  • Not In A Rush To Have Another One
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  • A Clearly Defined Loving Relationship

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Marriage & Partners

    (I have a standard response whenever my husband tells me he loves me.)

    Husband: “I love you.”

    Me: “That’s because I’m awesome!”

    Poetry In Circular Motion

    | Israel | Dating

    (My girlfriend is trying to express that when the washing machine works it knocks off objects placed on top of it.)

    Girlfriend: “Things fall when other things on the machine shookah-shookah-shookah.”

    Me: “You’re such a poet.”

    A Waist Of Few Words

    | Overijssel, The Netherlands | Marriage & Partners

    (We’re lying in bed and I wrap my arm around my partner’s waist.)

    Me: “Mine.”

    Partner: “No.”

    Me: “Mine?”

    Partner: “No?”

    Me: “Mine…”

    Partner: “Fine…”

    Me: “Yay!”

    Partner: “No.”


    | Indianapolis, IN, USA | Dating

    (My girlfriend has been stressed and has not been getting enough sleep for the past four nights. She and I are sitting on my dorm room bed and she ends up falling asleep. I am working on my laptop, I then notice she is tapping her fingers rhythmically and moaning with every second or third tap.)

    Girlfriend: *in her sleep* “What? Why…? NO!”

    (I look over and watch her open her eyes and look up at me with the saddest expression.)

    Me: “You okay, sweetheart?”

    Girlfriend: “Steve Jobs…”

    Me: “What?”

    Girlfriend: “Steve Jobs broke my laptop. How am I going to do work?”

    (I then realized she was still dreaming. While stifling a laugh I try and coax her back to sleep.)

    Me: “Steve Jobs is dead, sweetie.” *I grab her laptop from under the bed* “See, it’s right here.”

    Girlfriend: “He was a zombie. I had to type Morse code to stop him.”

    (At this point I am about ready to burst out laughing, but I coax her back to sleep. She wakes up about three hours later, well rested.)

    Girlfriend: “I had the weirdest dream.”

    Me: “You have no idea…”

    Not A Believer In Baby-Steps

    | Broussard, LA, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I’m playing ‘Tomodachi Life,’ a game where you run an island and you can give citizens food and clothes, teach them songs, and so on. One of the things that can happen in the game is that characters will get married, and may have babies. One of the couples in my game have decided to have a baby, and I’m waiting for it to actually happen.)

    Me: *frustrated* “Is it baby time yet!? D*** it! HAVE A BABY!”

    Husband: “I never want to hear that again!”

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