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  • African Adonis

    | USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I are on the way home when I comment on a particularly fit man that was in the line at the movie theater.)

    Me: “That man seriously had the body of a Grecian god!”

    Husband: “Don’t be silly. The Grecian gods were all white with small penises. He might have been an African god…”

    Me: “That man could probably tackle an elephant to the ground. He could ride lions. When he steps on the Savannah the hyenas stop laughing.”

    Being Pretty Smarts

    | Israel | Dating

    (I am riding my desk chair around the living room and spinning on it.)

    Me: “Wheeee!”

    Girlfriend: “What a pretty man.”

    Me: “I can’t believe you love me so much.”

    Girlfriend: “I didn’t say smart. I said pretty!”

    Should Go On A Diet For That Coke Break

    | NC, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    Coworker: “Have you seen the new [Soda] guy! He is so hot!”

    Me: “Sure, go ahead and go to break.”

    (Moments later she comes back looking embarrassed.)

    Me: “What’s wrong with you?”

    Coworker: “Oh, my god! I did the dimmest thing. I was trying to act all sexy to the [Soda] guy but everything went wrong. I was standing next to the cupcake samples and was going to eat one I front of him all sexy and I missed my mouth and instead shoved it at my nose and all of this while saying hey to him!”

    As Long As You Are All Together

    | Finland | Marriage & Partners

    (It’s Saturday morning and I am about to make breakfast.)

    Me: “I’m thinking about making some eggs for myself. I don’t suppose you want any.”

    Husband: “No, I’m not really a big egg man.”

    Me: “Does that mean you’re the walrus?”

    Thinks He’s A Real Rib-Tickler

    | FL, USA | Dating

    (I’m in bed with my boyfriend and petting our Dodson named Rusty. I notice one of his ribs sticks out a little bit.)

    Me: “Babe, what’s this lump on Rusty?”

    Boyfriend: “He’s always had that. He’s ribbed for her pleasure.”

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