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    Trying To Relight Their Relationship

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Exes/Old Flames

    (My ex recently broke up with me, but we are still dating to see if we can work things out. We are out to eat, and the candle at our table blows out.)

    Ex: “Oh, no! Hurry up and relight it, before it becomes a metaphor!”

    My Big Fat Greek Italian

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are out to dinner at my favorite Greek place and I’m expressing my love for all things Greek:)

    Me: “I think it’s just because I grew up in a Greek neighborhood. The food, the culture, the language – it’s all so amazing.”

    Boyfriend: “Well, did you know that I’m part Greek?”

    Me: “Oh really? That’s actually pretty cool. What side of your family?”

    Boyfriend: “Oh… uh… my mom?”

    Me: “Babe, are you just saying that so you seem hotter?”

    Boyfriend: “Um… yeah… but I’m Italian. That counts right?”

    Their Love Will Live Long And Prosper

    | Flin Flon, MB, Canada | Marriage & Partners

    (Some friends from out of town are visiting and telling us about how their trip in went.)

    Wife: “We had just enough gas to get here. I could tell that much. We were trying to figure out ways to conserve the gas. [Husband] said ‘Is there anything we don’t need, that we can turn off?’ So I turned down the heat as much as I could without fogging up the windows.”

    Husband: “That’s what they do on the Enterprise when they need to conserve energy. They turn off all unnecessary functions.”

    Wife: “That’s the nerdiest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

    Husband: “It worked, didn’t it?”

    A Taxing Marriage


    This Snuggle Isn’t Working For Me

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband has a cold and I am giving him a hard time about it.)

    Husband: “Where are you going?”

    Me: “The bedroom.”

    Husband: “Why?”

    Me: “I don’t know, maybe there will be snuggles in there.”

    Husband: “I don’t want to get you sick”

    Me: *pouts*

    Husband: “I’m serious. It’s why I didn’t snuggle anyone at work today.”

    (His office is 100% male.)

    Me: “Wha…? Do you often snuggle your coworkers?”

    Husband: “All the time. What do you think we do during lunch?”

    Me: *stares*

    Husband: “Yeah, so if I skipped out on the daily lunch-snuggle, I’m definitely not going to make my wife sick by snuggling her. You should be thanking me for my considerate nature.”

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