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  • They Met On The Bleach, Part 2
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    They Met On The Bleach, Part 2

    | Germany | Flirting/How We Met

    (My friends and I are cosplayers, and I am searching for a specific fabric for a bunch of new costumes we want to wear to the next convention. I go to a store and ask for that fabric. They don’t have any of it so I start to ask if there was something else we could use. There were two girls and a boy in this shop looking at the fabrics as well.)

    Saleswoman: “So, what do you need that fabric for?”

    Me: “A costume.” *in Germany a ladies’ suit is also called a costume*

    Saleswoman: *blank stare*

    Me: “You know… not like a skirt and a jacket. More like… a real costume.”

    Saleswoman: “OH, MY GOD! YOU’RE A COSPLAYER?”

    Me: “Um… yes?”

    Saleswoman: “Oh, my God! Are you going to be at [Next Convention], too? Who are you going to be?”

    Me: “Um yes… A character from Bleach. He is called Shunsui.”

    Saleswoman: “THAT’S SO COOL!”

    (By this time the two girls and the boy are standing practically next to me, talking about cosplay being ‘childish’ and so on. I really don’t want to cause trouble, so I ignore them and tell the saleswoman about the last convention we were at.)

    Me: “It was really hot. I had this cosplay made out of this really long synthetic fur. And one of the guards told me to let security check me for weapons. So we went there and I let them put a sticker on my nose. And one of my friends was checked too, because she was dressed as the Easter bunny—”

    (At this moment the boy whirls around and stares at me before he starts yelling too.)

    Boy: “Oh, my God! YOU ARE THE MOONKIN!”

    Me: *nods*

    Boy: “How cool!”

    (Complete silence, while everybody, including the two girls stares at him in disbelief.)

    Girl #1: “You are SO embarrassing! I don’t want you to be my boyfriend anymore!”

    Boy: *deadpan* “You insulted a moonkin… I don’t want to be your boyfriend anymore, either!”

    (With that, he just turned and left while the girls just glared at me until they left, too. Wherever you are, young man, you made my day! Thank you!)

    Related:
    They Met On The Bleach

    Subversationship

    | Houston, TX, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are cuddling in bed. We are both frequent readers of TVTropes.org.)

    Me: “I’m starting to get a headache.”

    Boyfriend: “Aww… you know what I can do to make it better?”

    Me: *thinking he’s making a joke* “Are you gonna say how sexual intercourse helps to release feel-good brain chemicals?”

    Boyfriend: “No. I was gonna offer to get you ibuprofen.”

    Me: “You subverted the trope!”

    Boyfriend: *grinning* “But if you’re offering…”

    Me: “Aaannd you just double-subverted it.”

    Not A Sound Reason

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Engaged, Themed Giveaway

    (I’m lying in bed with my fiancée early in the morning. We’re both super groggy when we wake up so we tend to have weird conversations before we’re fully awake.)

    Fiancée: *smacks my butt loudly* “Hmm…”

    Me: “What?”

    Fiancée: “It’s just- I keep trying to recreate the sound your butt makes, but I just can’t find it. Your butt’s just too perfect.”

    Me: “Aww, that’s sw— Wait. How do you make a butt-smack sound, anyway?”

    Fiancée: “You know. I hit a bunch of stuff like beanbags, hams, pillows, but nothing has that satisfying smack your butt makes!”

    Me: “You smack hams to make a butt sound?”

    Fiancée: “Yeah. Well, the closest I’ve come is the turkey you made at Thanksgiving. It kinda sounded like your butt when I smacked it.”

    Me: “…”

    (Needless to say, I’m keeping an eye on any meats I bring home from the supermarket from now on.)

    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 8

    | Finland | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I have just started watching ‘The Walking Dead.’)

    Me: “So, hypothetically, if the zombie apocalypse happened and they were those kinds of zombies, as in slow and stupid, we could just stay at home and keep the door locked. There’s no way they could get in through the door.”

    Husband: “Yeah. Well, the balcony is a bit of a risk, though.”

    Me: “We’re on the third floor and there is nothing on the wall they could use to climb up. C’mon, those moron zombies in the series didn’t even manage to climb a ladder. How do you propose they’d climb the wall to the third floor?”

    Husband: “Yeah, I suppose. The top floor would be the safest place, though. We could block the stairway so it’s easily defended, and we could collect rainwater out on the roof. The only problem would be food.”

    Me: “Yeah, that does sound better… Wait.” *suddenly realizing something* “Oh, my god. Are we now THAT geek couple who plan what they would do in case of zombie apocalypse?”

    Husband: “Well, now WE are. As for myself, I have been planning it for YEARS…”

    Related:
    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 7
    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 6
    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 5
    Love In The Time Of Zombies: Christmas Special
    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 4
    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 3
    Love In The Time Of Zombies, Part 2
    Love In The Time Of Zombies

    A Grave(lly) Concern

    | Maurice, LA, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I are watching TV, he comments on a woman on-screen.)

    Husband: “Man, I love a woman with a deep gravelly voice.”

    Me: *frowning* “But I don’t have a deep gravelly voice.”

    Husband: *hopeful* “Well, you might get a cold…”


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