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    Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 12

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Dating

    (My girlfriend of 18 months and I are on the floor with her dog after a shower. The dog is laying on one of her feet, and I’m resting my head on her other leg. I’ve been up for 20 hours at this point.)

    Girlfriend: “Um, can you move your head?”

    Me: “Just go ahead and fart.”

    (A moment passes.)

    Girlfriend: “I can’t. I’m too embarrassed.”

    Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 11
    Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 10
    Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 9

    Trying To Change The Time

    | Paris, France | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are at home. I’m relaxing after my part-time job as a cashier.)

    Boyfriend: “Hey, do you have the time?”

    Me: *looking at the digital clock, without thinking* “7 Euros and 15 cents, please.”

    Boyfriend: “What?”

    Me: *blushing* “Hum… I mean, it’s quarter past seven.”

    Ended In A Happy Meal

    | CT, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (Friend #1 has recently introduced me to some new people, one of whom – Friend #2 – has made it rather obvious that he is attracted to me. I’m not really interested, but he’s a nice guy and I don’t want to be mean. We’re hanging out, drinking and having a good time, when all of a sudden Friend #2 turns to me.)

    Friend #2: “[My Name], we’ve been hanging out for a while now, and there’s just something I really need to say to you.”

    (Friend #1 and I almost cringe, expecting whatever he says to kill the mood and make the rest of the night awkward.)

    Me: “O-okay… what is it?”

    Friend #2: “Your a** is so fine I could eat a hamburger off of it.”

    (Friend #1 and I immediately fall over laughing, and all further interactions with Friend #2 were a lot less awkward!)

    Spoiling Your Spoilers

    | The Netherlands | Dating

    (I’m telling my boyfriend that I think car spoilers are ugly.)

    Boyfriend: “They can be very useful and also stylish if they’re not bolted on afterwards. They’re kind of like boobs, if they’re not the size and shape and angle the model had intended to have, they’re fake and ugly.”

    Me: “Ha!”

    Boyfriend: “You’ve got beautiful spoilers.”

    Me: “Please don’t ever call them that again…”

    Can’t Help But Sweat It

    | Winchester, ON, Canada | Marriage & Partners

    (I’ve just gotten home from work. It’s summer time and my job is physically demanding, so I’m in sweat overdrive. My husband greets me and buries his face in my cleavage as I’m getting ready to take a shower.)

    Me: “Get out of there! I’m sweaty!”

    Husband: “Don’t care.”

    Me: “I care! I stink!”

    Husband: “DON’T CARE!”

    Me: “Ugh, let me at least go take a shower. THEN you can stick your face in there. And it will smell better.”

    Husband: “Okay!”

    (He lets me go. Sad thing is this happens almost every time I come home from work.)

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