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    Germaniac, Part 2

    | Dahab, Egypt | Dating

    (I come home about 11 pm after hanging out with some friends. My boyfriend is already asleep. Just before I go to bed, I check Facebook and notice that he has posted up the message “Life is short, so tell someone you love them. Life is also terrifying, so shout it at them in German.” A couple of hours later he gets up to use the bathroom. As he gets back into bed the following happens:)

    Me: *murble, murble*

    Boyfriend: “Hey.”

    Me: *arms outstretched to give him a cuddle* “ICH LIEBE DICH!”

    (At which point I rolled over and started snoring while he lied there for the next two hours, terribly confused.)

    Related:
    Germaniac

    I Knee’d Not Know

    | Liverpool, England, UK | Engaged

    (My fiancé and I are sitting on the sofa watching TV. I am sat at one end with my feet on his lap when this happens. He starts slowly moving his hand up my leg under my trousers.)

    Me: “What are you doing?”

    Fiancé: *suddenly grabbing my knee* “Going for your knee! If I rub it, a genie might come out. After all, it’s called a geKNEE!”

    Not Suited To That Humor

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are watching a TV show in his living room, In the show, a couple are about to get married.)

    Character: “This is my second favorite suit of yours. The first is your birthday suit!”

    Boyfriend: “Does he mean naked?”

    Me: “Yeaaaah…”

    Boyfriend: *laughing* “Wait, does it always mean that?”

    Me: “Yes! What, did you not know that? Birthday suit: it’s what you’re born in… naked!”

    Boyfriend: *totally embarrassed* “No, well, I just thought it meant a fancy suit!”

    Gifted By Your Love

    | Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I’m sending my husband messages on our computer while he is at work.)

    Me: “Hi, boo! You know I love you, right? Like, more than all of the things?”

    Husband: “Hi, love!”

    Me: “Hi! And also, I love you. A lot. SO much. Always. You understand this, right?”

    Husband: “Right!”

    Me: “Wonderful! Because I really love you tons.”

    Husband: “You want something, don’t you?”

    Me: “No, nothing at all. I only want you to be happy. Completely happy. Forever. And know that I love you.”

    Husband: “What do you want?”

    Me: “I really just want you to be happy!”

    Husband: “Why?”

    Me: “Because you forgot your lunch. I love you. I’m so sorry.”

    Husband: “Oh! I didn’t forget it. I’m taking a half day and I’m going to be back by lunch time.”

    Me: “I’m so glad things worked out this way!”

    Husband: “Why?”

    Me: “Because now I know that you won’t be lunch-less, and I also know that I’ve apparently given you enough love that you’ll be fine with me getting something! I’m going to go figure out what that something is. It’s probably expensive. I’m glad you’re all right with this. Be right back!”

    Crush The Celebrity Crush

    | TX, USA | Dating

    (I am female. My boyfriend and I are both attracted to boys and girls. We both know this, and have discussed celebrity crushes before. We’re talking on the bus with our friend.)

    Boyfriend: “How attractive do you think Lindsey Stirling is?”

    Me: “She’s okay.”

    Friend: *laughs* “You’re jealous aren’t you?”

    Me: “No, she just isn’t my type.”

    Friend: “You have a type?”

    Me: *thinks a moment* “I really like Felicia Day.”

    (I pull up a picture of her on my phone and show it to them. My boyfriend makes a pouty face.)

    Friend: “Are you jealous?”

    Boyfriend: “She’s prettier than me.”

    Me: *laughs* “You’re prettier than she is. I promise.”


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