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    Hungry For Love

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Dating

    (Normally I am very pale, but I recently went on vacation to a tropical country. I came back sunburned, but it’s gradually fading to brown. My boyfriend and I are lying in bed, naked.)

    Boyfriend: “I do like you with a bit of a tan. Just a little toasted. Like a marshmallow.”

    Me: “Hmm. It itches, especially here, where it’s still pink.”

    Boyfriend: “With the tan line and the burned parts and your regular skin, you look like Neapolitan ice cream.”

    Me: “Baby, if you’re hungry we can go get a snack, but stop comparing me to food.”

    Cheese Wars

    | LA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are messaging on Facebook and I decide to be silly.)

    Me: “You are the eggs to my bacon.”

    Boyfriend: “That’s cheesy!.”

    Me: “I know.”

    Me: “Oh! You are the cheese to my macaroni then.”

    Boyfriend: “Even worse.”

    Me: “I know.”

    Me: “I’d much rather that you were the Han Solo to my Leia.”

    Boyfriend: “Okay, I like that one.”

    Me: “Thought you might.”

    Girls Don’t Like Boys


    whiskey-tango.tumblr.com_post_75139561742

    Brain Is Running Out Of Gas

    | Australia | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I have only been dating for just over a month, and we’re just chatting after watching some movies together.)

    Boyfriend: *happily* “I farted.”

    (Pause.)

    Boyfriend: *pensively* “And I’m sleepy.”

    (Pause.)

    Boyfriend: *horrified* “…so I told you.”

    (Pause.)

    Boyfriend: *quietly* “Noooooooooo.”

    The Object Word

    | SC, USA | Dating

    (Somehow, my boyfriend and I have gotten into a conversation on the topic of fetishes.)

    Me: “Can you have a word fetish?”

    Boyfriend: “Yeah. It’s an object, after all.”

    Me: “Do you have a word fetish?”

    Boyfriend: *deadpan* “I like big books and I cannot lie.”


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