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    | USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (I have just taken a online quiz to find out which Order of the Phoenix member I am. Upon getting my results, I text my boyfriend.)

    Me: “I’m Nymphadora Tonks!”

    Boyfriend: “That makes perfect sense.”

    Me: “Why do you say that?”

    Boyfriend: “Because you like to change the way you look and you have good taste in men.”

    You And I Can Code A Bad Romance

    | WA, USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (I just got home from work and am about to go play some games on my computer. I give my girlfriend a kiss before I head off to play. She grabs me by the arm and this conversation ensues.)

    Girlfriend: “Baby, I’m the only game you need with state of the art controls and graphics.”

    Me: “Really?”

    Girlfriend: “Yeah, you should see the cartridge.”

    Me: “I was always told I shouldn’t lick my electronics.”

    Girlfriend: “I’m so state of the art I’m the one exception to that rule.”

    You’re My Harley’s Angel

    | LA, USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (My boyfriend does art commissions for money. We’re both fairly geeky but he’s more into tabletop RPs than comics and history like me. History like lingerie and burlesque. Also note: Harley Quinn was my favorite as a kid and the New 52 is still a sore spot.)

    Boyfriend: “I may need help with a pinup.”

    Me: “How?”

    Boyfriend: “Point out what needs improvement.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Boyfriend: “I’m doing a nude pinup of Harley Quinn.”

    Me: “Is it the real Harley or the new 52?”

    Boyfriend: “I’m doing the old Harley. If she wants me to the new 52 Harley she can find someone else.”

    Me: “I knew you were a keeper.”

    Blanket Response To Sleep Talking

    | Canada | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep, with often amusing outcomes. This happens early one Saturday morning.)

    Husband: *looks over at me under two blankets* “You, with all those blankets… you look like a mammoth.”

    Me: “…what?”

    Husband: “You probably think I’m sleep-talking… but I’m not.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Husband: *snore*

    I Love You To Death, Part 2

    | CA, USA | Dating

    (I am hanging out at my boyfriend’s apartment after we’ve both just gotten off work. I usually have evening plans every night of the week. Note: ‘kill things violently’ is a phrase I use that just means playing video games.)

    Boyfriend: “So, what are your plans for tonight?”

    Me: “I don’t really have any. There’s a dinner I could go to, but it started a few minutes ago and I don’t feel like walking in late.”

    Boyfriend: “Wow. So what are you going to do with yourself?”

    Me: “Well, I was thinking I could just hang out here for a while and kill things violently while in the same room as you.”

    Boyfriend: “Oh, yes. We know how to romance.”

    I Love You To Death

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