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Love Can Be Grimm

| UK | Dating

Me: “You know… I feel like, in your eyes, I’m one of those fairy tale Prince Charming type characters. Obviously not the one from Shrek, though.”

Girlfriend: “Maybe not fairy tale, but you’re definitely a Prince Charming to me.”

Me: “Is fairy tale blowing it out of proportion?”

Girlfriend: “No, it just makes us both seem too perfect.”

Me: “Oh. Good point. What about a Grimm Brothers tale?”

Girlfriend: “That seems more accurate.”

Has Status, But No Class

| MI, USA | Dating, Young Love

(It’s Valentine’s Day, and I’m spending it with the guy I’ve been seeing for a few months. Our relationship isn’t official, but I have a feeling he might be asking because he told me he had ‘specific plans’ for me. He gives me a flower and writes me a beautiful poem.)

Him: “Oh, I have one more present for you. I’ll be right back!”

Me: “Okay!”

(He leaves the room for a few minutes and comes back with his phone.)

Him: “Go check your Facebook!”

Me: *confused* “Okay?”

(I check Facebook and see he has listed himself in a relationship with me.)

Me: “Did you seriously just ask me to be your girlfriend by making it “Facebook official?”

Him: “… I thought it would be cute.”

(Despite the impersonal cheesiness of it, I said yes, and we couldn’t be happier.)

A Spoonful Of Pizza Helps The Beer Go Down

| LA, USA | Dating, Family/Kids

(My girlfriend temporarily lives with her aunt. Her mother, who lives out of state, is also visiting for a few weeks. We are Skyping.)

Girlfriend: “I wasn’t in the mood to cook yesterday, [Aunt] was out on a date and mom was sick so we got pizza.”

Me: “Ugh, what a way to spend a Saturday night. I hope your mom’s doing better?”

Girlfriend: “Yeah. I checked up on her later, and brought her some pizza and a beer.”

Me: “Wait… Your mom was sick in bed and you bring her pizza and beer?!”

Girlfriend: “Uh, yeah? She was feeling better and getting her appetite back. She asked for a beer and some food, so I brought it to her. Why?”

Me: “Nothing… but I think I feel a fever coming on. Can you swing by my place?”

Pray For Eat, Love

| Racine, WI, USA | Engaged

(My fiancé and I are sitting in the same room on our respective computers.)

Me: “I’m hungry.”

Fiancé: “Well, what do you want to eat?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Fiancé: “Do you want to go out and get something, or make something at home?”

Me: “I don’t know. ”

(A few minutes pass in silence before this happens.)

Fiancé: “Are you hungry?”

Me: “Yes.”

Fiancé: “Then you need to decide what to do about that.”

(I grab his arm and start gnawing on his hand.)

Fiancé: “No! You cannot eat me!”

Me: “But you are tasty and good!”

Fiancé: “I’m not tasty and good! I haven’t been covered in seven herbs and spices yet!”

Me: “Yet? Does this mean we’re planning something fun later?”

Fiancé: “No!”

Ish-ful Thinking

| IL, USA | Dating

(I am discussing a scene in a TV show where a guy views forgetting his anniversary as a ‘life or death situation.’)

Me: “Dear, when’s our anniversary?”

Boyfriend: “Sometime in March-ish.”

Me: *smiles*

Boyfriend: “You don’t know either so this isn’t a life or death situation.”

Me: “It is March-ish right now. If you find any flowers you know where to find me.”

Boyfriend: “Well, happy anniversary-ish to us, then.”

Me: “Yay!”

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