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    I’m Head Over Heels For You

    | UK | Marriage & Partners, Themed Giveaway

    Wife: “I really love you. I wish I could put your head in a bag so I could take it with me and look at you whenever I wanted…”

    Organ Failure, Part 2

    | ON, Canada | Dating, Themed Giveaway

    Themed Giveaway Email:

    (I’m watching the show ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’ One of the patients comes out of a coma after 16 years to find that his family has moved on. As I’m watching, I turn to my boyfriend.)

    Me: “[Boyfriend], if I went into a coma for 16 years, would you wait for me?”

    Boyfriend: “If you went into a coma for 16 years, I would harvest your organs for cash.”

    Related:
    Organ Failure

    A Happy Nine Lifetimes Together

    | MI, USA | Dating, Themed Giveaway

    (My boyfriend’s family recently had to put down both their cat and dog within a month of each other.)

    Boyfriend: “Have you seen those “My girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn’t want a cat, so we compromised and got a cat” things?”

    Me: “I want a cat!”

    Boyfriend: “I want a cat, too, but everything I love dies.”

    Me: “I’m not dead.”

    Boyfriend: “Not yet…”

    This Relationship Has Gone Cold(sore)

    | Norway | Dating

    (I’m two months into a new relationship, and talking to my boyfriend during a break. Due to a cold sore, I’ve instituted a no kissing rule until it’s gone, as I don’t want him catching it.)

    Me: “It doesn’t make sense, though. I haven’t had cold sores this often since I was eleven. Now, I have them all the time, but I’ve hardly had any in over a decade.”

    Boyfriend: “You don’t have to worry about me, though. I don’t get cold sores. I hardly get sick at all!”

    Me: “Yeah, but the worst case scenario here is that we pass them back and forth via kissing, and then we’d never get rid of them. I’d rather we just wait until it’s gone.”

    Boyfriend: “But it’s not like you’re gonna infect me.”

    Me: “Just because you don’t get any, doesn’t mean you don’t carry it. Then you’ll end up infecting me again, anyway.”

    Boyfriend: “But I hardly ever get sick! I drink out of the same bottles as [Friend\] all the time, and he has lots of cold sores, but I never get any!”

    Me: *rubs my forehead* “I take it back. These cold sores suddenly make a lot of sense.”

    Trying To Tickle Your Ribs

    | Bloomington, IN, USA | Themed Giveaway

    (My boyfriend is a good head taller than I am. He is gangly and with a long torso. Sometimes I just like to say silly things. Also, I’m an English major, while he’s a business major who frequently talks about efficiency.)

    Me: “You know, I think you have extra ribs.”

    Boyfriend: “Oh?”

    Me: “Yeah. Explains how your torso is so long.”

    Boyfriend: *snorts* “Okay.”

    Me: “You know, with those extra ribs, you’d be a really efficient snack for a cannibal.”

    Boyfriend: *gives me a look*

    Me: “Yeah! Pay for x amount of ribs and get extra ribs! Decrease spending!”

    Boyfriend: “You’re weird.”


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