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    Never Going To Be Married To The Idea

    | NY, USA | Dating

    (I have been dating my boyfriend for three and a half years and am fervently hoping he’ll propose before our fourth year anniversary. We are on the couch watching the episode of Friends where one of the characters gets her wedding dress.)

    Me: “Aww… it’s so pretty.”

    Boyfriend: “I hate wedding dresses… They’re so ugly.”

    Me: *hopeless look*

    With Great Bacon, Part 19

    | MD, USA | Dating

    (I’m talking with my long distance boyfriend over the phone. I hear someone talking to him on his end, and then this happens:)

    Boyfriend: “Oh! Bacon! Gotta go!” *hangs up*

    (I try so hard to be mad, but I’m too busy laughing hysterically. Later on, after he calls back:)

    Boyfriend: “Sorry about earlier, but we were having bacon, and bacon. Trumps. All.”

    Me: *dies laughing*

    Related:
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 18
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 17
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility,Part 16

    Proper Grounds For Kissing

    | MD, USA | Dating

    (I decide to surprise my girlfriend by going down to visit her unexpectedly, as we live several states from each other. She comes in the main office and is surprised to see me in front of her. We embrace and I lean in to kiss her.)

    School Faculty: “There’s no kissing allowed on school grounds.”

    Me: *drags girlfriend outside and kisses her*

    The House-Girlfriend

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. I’ve been asking him for one of his sweatshirts to wear when he’s not around, so it doesn’t feel as lonely when we’re apart. My boyfriend and I are big Harry Potter fans.)

    Me: “Pleeeease can I have one?”

    Boyfriend: *dramatic sigh* “Fine. Here, you can have this one.”

    (He throws one of his sweatshirts at me.)

    Me: *stares at him with shock* “Boyfriend has given a sweatshirt. Boyfriend gave it to girlfriend. Girlfriend has got a sweatshirt. Boyfriend threw it and girlfriend caught it, and girlfriend… girlfriend is FREE!”

    His Dream Is Tapped

    | Ball, LA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend got me into Magic: The Gathering. He and I hadve just crawled into bed after spending a few hours digging through his cards and mine, building me a new deck and testing it against some of his decks. We’re snuggled together and I’m starting to fall asleep when he jerks away.)

    Me: *groggily* “Babe? What’s wrong?”

    Boyfriend: *loudly* “No, don’t put that one in it! Put this one in it! Just one more of this one will make it perfect!”

    Me: *confused* “Don’t put what where? One more of what?”

    Boyfriend: *exasperated* “Don’t put Spirit Loop in your deck! You only have one of it! The likelihood that you’ll draw it is very slim!”

    (I clamp my hand over my mouth and nearly choke on my laughter. We had previously discussed that card being one of several placeholders until I could get the ones I needed.)

    Me: *giggling* “So, what was it that I should put in it again?”

    Boyfriend: *sighs* “Put one more Chief of the Scale in your deck and it will be nearly perfect. It’d be better if we could get you some Path To Exile.”

    Me: *pats him on the shoulder* “Okay, babe. Good to know. Can we sleep now?”

    Boyfriend: “Sure!”

    (He snuggled up to me again and promptly fell asleep. He laughed the next morning when I told him he was talking about Magic in his sleep.)


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