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  • November Theme Of The Month: Crushes!

    One Of The DVDs Should Have Been ‘What Women Want’

    | Peterborough, England, UK | Flirting/How We Met

    (I’m about a half hour into a four-hour shift and it’s the end of my work week, so I’m not totally with it. My till is fairly empty, but there are queues forming either side of me. I get the attention of a customer on the till opposite me and he comes over. I put his three DVDs through the till with some general chit-chat, and he starts packing up the DVDs in a backpack.)

    Customer: “Do you have a name?”

    Me: “It’s on my badge.”

    Customer: “How old are you?”

    Me: “23.”

    Customer: “That’s the same age as me. Do you have a number?”

    Me: “Err… why?”

    Customer: “Isn’t it obvious?”

    Me: “Not really.”

    (At this point, I turn to the next customer in the line. My DVD customer is STILL bagging his items.)

    Me: “Would you possibly be able to shuffle round so I can serve these customers?”

    Customer: “I don’t get why you won’t give me your number.”

    Me: “I don’t get why you don’t get that I don’t give out my number to random strangers, sir.”

    The Setting Is Upsetting

    | NY, USA | Dating

    (My cousin’s girlfriend, who I’ve become close with, has been having a hard time lately. Her father is sick, her sister just moved to another country, and a few days ago she totaled her car. We are texting.)

    Her: “Your cousin is a little s***.”

    Me: “What did he do now?”

    Her: “I was upset and talking to him, and he told me, ‘I don’t think you understand how stressful it is for me that you’re upset all the time.'”

    Me: “…”

    Her: “And then I laughed because it was so ridiculous, and he said ‘Do you think this is funny?'”

    Me: “…”

    Her: “So, yeah. He’s a s***.”

    Me: “Yup. Not even gonna try to defend that.”

    Chivalry Survives The Morning After

    | PA, USA | Friends With Benefits

    (I’m ringing up a woman about my own age with just a few items, including Plan B, aka “the morning after pill.” As she goes to pay, the guy with her blurts out…)

    Male Friend: “That is NOT my fault!”

    Me: “Huh?”

    Customer: *grinning and also blushing* “Oh, my God…”

    Male Friend: “Just wanted you to know, like, if I was responsible for her need for… uh, THAT… I would, you know, pay for it.”

    Customer: *dryly* “Oh, how sweet of you.”

    Me: “And they say chivalry is dead.”

    All Cashiers Have Checked Out

    | Canada | Flirting/How We Met

    (I’m at work on a slow afternoon. A woman and her friend, about twice or three times my age, come in:)

    Woman: *comes up to my register* “Hello.”

    Me: *looks up* “Hi.”

    Woman: *gestures to her male friend* “This is [Man]. His girlfriend broke up with him a few weeks ago.”

    Me: “I’m… sorry about that?”

    Woman: “And now he’s looking for love. Do you have a boyfriend?”

    (Note: I’m single.)

    Me: “Yes, I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years.”

    Woman: *to her friend* “There’s other cashiers here; we’ll find you one.”

    The Smell Of Rejection

    | NY, USA | Advice

    (I have been talking to the same guy from an Internet dating site for a few weeks now, and after considerable scheduling effort, we finally meet for a date. I’ve been telling everyone that I’m excited to meet him. My friend texts me the next morning.)

    Friend: “So, how was it last night?”

    Me: “Pretty depressing. It was bad.”

    Friend: “How bad?”

    Me: “Well, he had a smell…”

    Friend: “Oh… that bad.”

    Me: “And then he didn’t even try anything at the end! He said he didn’t feel like we had chemistry… I got rejected by a guy who smells!”

    Friend: “But you didn’t actually like him…”

    Me: “That’s so not the point, [Friend].”

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