• Drinking Like A Dothraki Warlord
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  • July's Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    White Crayon


    Can You Hear And Smell The Love Tonight

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Dating

    (My girlfriend and I are getting ready for the day.)

    Me: *farts*

    Girlfriend: *in the other room* “What? I didn’t catch that.”

    Me: “…that was my rear end.”

    Girlfriend: “Oh, well, they sound the same sometimes.”

    My Number One Love

    | IL, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I am sitting at home alone with my wife.)

    Me: “I love you.”

    Her: “Okay, but you’re sitting on my bladder and I have to pee.”

    Kicking Up A Stink Over The Puppy

    | New Orleans, LA, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I are visiting his father, who has a dog named Jacques. While Jacques normally stays on the main floor, he has followed me upstairs to the guest room, so I’m playing with him while my husband plays video games.)

    Me: *baby voice* “Who’s a good puppy!? Who’s a happy puppy!? You’re a good puppy! You’re a STINKY puppy! Yes you are! You’re stinky! You’re stinky and you love attention! Just like [Husband]!”

    (After a couple of minutes, Jacques wanders off.)

    Husband: “Now you can pay attention to ME! I’M stinky and love attention!”

    Best Sign Is No Sign


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