(Two of my married friends are out to dinner with us. The wife is heavily pregnant and going to give birth any day. She has been getting a little swollen in the final days.)

Husband: “Hey, honey. Are you okay?”

Wife: “No, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

Husband: “Well, you’re looking a little puffy.”

Wife: *death glare* “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Husband: “You look…pretty when you’re puffy! It’s like a pregnant marshmallow!”