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  • November Theme Of The Month: Crushes!

    Punch Drunk Love

    | USA | Flirting/How We Met, Top

    (I’m at a party with a couple of friends, when we see a mutual friend of the host. Her boyfriend is being really openly cruel and rude to her. We see them arrive separately, so I approach to offer to help when it is clear she wanted to leave.)

    Me: “Can I offer to walk you to your car?”

    Friend: “Sure, thank you.”

    Boyfriend: “You can’t leave until I say you can leave! You didn’t ask my permission!”

    Friend: “Oh, why don’t you go bench press something, and leave the rest of us alone?” *to me* “Shall we?”

    Me: “Certainly.”

    (At that point, he reaches out and punches her hard in the back. I hear everyone fall silent, and I moved to actually hit him myself, but she puts a hand on my chest and shakes her head.)

    Friend: “Won’t you excuse me?”

    (She turns around and slugs him right in the face, so hard that he falls back into the pool.)

    Friend: *to me, grinning* “Now we can leave.”

    My Other Friend: *quietly to me, as I’m following her out* “If you don’t ask that woman out, I’m going to, because that was amazing.”

    (That was four years ago. We’re getting married.)