(My boyfriend and I are at my 21st birthday party. A fair way into it, when most people are blind drunk, a guy stumbles and almost pushes me over. My boyfriend sees this coming and steps in the way, protecting me. After this, he turns to face me, smug.)

Boyfriend: “See that? See what I did there?”

Me: “My hero!”

Boyfriend: “I know. It was pretty gallant of me.”

(By the end of the night, the story was that a guy had come at me with a knife and my boyfriend had ridden in on a dinosaur, tackled the guy to the ground and had been presented with a glass chalice by the host of the party as a prize.)