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    | Redlands, CA, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I live in a wealthy beach community where the guys can be pretty full of themselves. I’m at a bar about 60 miles inland with my sister and a friend when a group of guys they know comes in. My sister introduces me to one guy.)

    Me: *shaking hands* “Hi, I’m [My Name].”

    Him: “Hi, I’m the cockiest ‘s.o.b.’ you’ll ever meet.”

    (He delivers this line with a broad wink, and I can tell he thinks it’s very charming. All the women and his friends at the table laugh.)

    Me: “Well, I live in Newport Beach, and you’re not even the cockiest ‘s.o.b.’ I’ve met so far THIS WEEK.”

    (His face completely fell and his friends start teasing him about being burned. Needless to say, he didn’t speak to me again after that.)

    Not Trying To Dance Around The Issue

    | Grande Prairie, AB, Canada |

    (I’m at the bar with one of my girl friends. We are sitting at a booth, waiting for the rest of our group to arrive. There has been a guy a few tables down eyeing us up and after a while he approaches.)

    Man: *sitting next to me in my booth and trying to put his arm around me* “Hey, wanna dance?”

    Me: “No, thank you. We’re just waiting for some friends to arrive right now. And I’m not much of a dancer.”

    Man: *suddenly angry* “All you f****** women are like this! All I want is a dance with you and you just shoot me down! I’m a nice guy! I deserve a chance!”

    Me: *taken aback* “Uh, well sorry. Like I said, I’m waiting for some more friends to arrive and I don’t dance. It really wasn’t anything to do with you.”

    Man: “If you’re going to f****** lie and make up f****** excuses you could at least make them believable!”

    (As if on cue, at this point the rest of the group shows up. As he’s taking up a couple seats in the booth, a couple of my friends are waiting for him to leave before they can sit down.)

    Me: “Look, my friends are here. Can you please leave me alone now and get out of our booth so they can sit down?”

    Man: “Oh… Well, I guess you weren’t being a lying b****. Can I buy you a drink?”

    Friends: “Get lost, buddy!”

    A Jerk Reaction

    | USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (I’m out with a friend who has zero patience with men who won’t listen when you say you aren’t interested, and even less patience with pick-up artists. We’re at the bar having a conversation, and the guy to her right starts trying to chat her up. She keeps looking at me and completely ignoring him until this happens.)

    Guy: “HEY!” *grabbing her wrist* “I’m TALKING to you!”

    Friend: “And a person with half a brain figures out that somebody who ignores them doesn’t want to talk to them. And don’t touch me.” *pulls her wrist away*

    Guy: *suddenly sly, with a very smooth tone* “Well, all I wanted was your attention, baby girl.” *tries to put his arm around her shoulders*

    Friend: “If you put your hands on me after I just told you not to touch me, we’re going to have a problem, kid.”

    Guy: *indignant* “All I want is your number! Is that too much to ask?!”

    Friend: “Yes.”

    Guy: “I’m not going to stop until you give it to me.”

    (She rolls her eyes, and grabs a napkin and a pen, pulling out her phone. She looks up a number that she has listed under “Mine”, and hands it to him.)

    Guy: “Why’d you have to loo—”

    Friend: “It’s a new number, so I saved it in the phone. Now, go away.”

    Guy: “Not until you promise to answer the phone when I call you.”

    Friend: “Oops, sorry that wasn’t part of the deal. You only asked for the number.”

    (He gets thrown out a few minutes later for picking a fight with another guy when he tried to hit on the guy’s sister. Then this happens.)

    Me: “That wasn’t your number that you wrote on that napkin.”

    Friend: *setting down her drink* “I know.”

    Me: “So, what was it?”

    Friend: *grinning* “The rejection hotline.”

    (She explained that she kept it stored under “mine” in her phone for just these circumstances – guys who won’t take no for an answer. We ran into that same guy a few weeks later who was furious that she’d given him the rejection hotline number. She pointed out that he had been harassing her when she’d pretty clearly been uninterested.)

    The (Undefined) Age Of Innocence

    | Wellington, New Zealand | Flirting/How We Met, Theme Of The Month

    (I and my friend are in a different city on a holiday and decide to go out for a few drinks. We get our drinks and sit down at a table when we are approached by two men.)

    Man: “Hey, there. I’m [Man]. What brings you here tonight?”

    Me: “We came up here for a holiday. I’m [My Name] and this is [Friend].”

    Man: “You look young but, well, if you bought a drink you must be over age.” *laughs*

    (My friend and I are a bit uncomfortable at this point. We are only 19 and this man is clearly quite a lot older. My friend goes to the bathroom. This man keeps talking to me and all I want to do is finish my drink and leave.)

    Man: “Do you watch porn?”

    Me: “What?”

    Man: “It isn’t something to be embarrassed about. It is natural. I watch porn all the time but not for pleasure. I want to direct porn.”

    (This man is really starting to freak me out. I go to the bathroom and find my friend still in there. We know this guy doesn’t want to leave us alone so we plan for her to pretend to get a call and say we have to leave for an emergency. We go back to the table and I stay while my friend gets this fake call.)

    Man: “So, how old are you?”

    Me: “19. How about you?”

    Man: “Oh, it doesn’t matter. I live a bit out of town, you know. I have to catch a train to get home. Where are you staying?”

    (At this point my friend came back with the fake emergency and we got the h*** out of there. The ‘porn guy’ is still a joke we have between us but I am just glad it is something we can joke about and it didn’t end up more serious!)

    They’re So Dream A Dreamy

    | London, England, UK | Flirting/How We Met, LGBTQ

    (I am in a bar with my friends, and I see a girl that looks really cute, but I am not sure if she is gay. After a few drink, I decide to go up to her. I am in a ‘Les Mis’ mood.)

    Me: *singing* “A heart full of love. A heart full of song. I’m doing everything all wrong! Oh, God, for shame. I do not even know your name. Dear mademoiselle, won’t you say? Won’t you tell?”

    Her: *singing* “A heart full of love. No fear. No regret.”

    Me: *singing* “My name is [My Name].”

    Her: *singing* “And mine’s [Her Name].”

    Me: *singing* “[Her Name], I don’t know what to say.”

    Her: *normal* “Marry me. No one ever gets to that part.”

    (We’ve been dating for a year now.)

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