(We are driving, when we see a group of people on the bike-path next to the road.)

Me: “Hey, looks like there’s a race going on.”

Husband: “I think the guy in the front is winning.”

Me: “Yes, that’s generally how races work.”

Husband: *laughs* “Wow, I’m more tired than I thought.”

(My boyfriend and I are on the way to dinner before seeing ‘Iron Man 3’. We’re discussing the attractiveness of various male leads in Avengers related movies; specifically, Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, and Robert Downey Jr. I mention how between the three of them, I find Chris Hemsworth most attractive.)

Boyfriend: “Yeah, well, Thor, he’s all about action and fighting. But his brother’s LOW-KEY.”

Me: “I’m going to punch you, now.”

Boyfriend: “Not while I’m driving!”

Me: “I’m going to punch you, soon.”

Boyfriend: “I’m going to keep driving forever.”

(We come to a red light, and I punch him in the shoulder.)

Boyfriend: “I’M STILL DRIVING!”

(My boyfriend and I are joking with each other.)

Boyfriend: “I won’t take away any of your airheaded-ness, because then you would have smaller boobs.”

Me: “I have a challenge for you.”

Boyfriend: “What?”

Me: “I either have brainpower, which is eating up energy from my boobs. Or I have boobs which are eating up my brains. Which one is worse?”

Boyfriend: “You have plenty of both, so they must be taking from your butt.”

Me: “…you win this time, mere mortal. Next time, you won’t be so lucky!”

Related:
The Butt Of His Own Joke, Part 2

(My boyfriend and I are driving separate vehicles. He’s about two cars ahead of me. We’re talking on the phone to each other.)

Me: “Seriously, this car next to me was honking! I looked over, and now there’s this creepy guy smiling and waving at me. I have no idea who he is.”

Boyfriend: “What guy?”

Me: “This guy in the red car next to me. He’s still honking. Every time I look he’s still smiling and waving at me.”

(We pass through a couple of lights, and this behavior continues. Finally, the red car gets the idea that I’m not interested, and drives ahead of me.)

Me: “Ha! He’s next to you now. The guy in the red car. Avenge me! Avenge me! Honk, smile, and wave at him!”

(My boyfriend starts honking, smiling and waving at the guy, before laughing hysterically.)

Boyfriend: “He just flipped me off! He looks angry too!”

(The car ends up back by me again, and he can see me laughing. I give him a thumbs-up as I change lanes. However, we hit another red light. My boyfriend is again next to the red car, and continues to smile and wave at him through the light.)

Boyfriend: “He’s still flipping me off. The best part is he looks really angry now. But I bet he figured us out.”

Me: “I would hope so at this point!”

(My husband and I like to punch each other whenever we see VW Beetles. As bonuses, when we see one with a car bra on it, we slap the other’s chest. I happen to find one.)

Me: “Slug bug silver with a bra on it!”

Husband: “No! I need more excuse than you to touch your breasts!”