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The Force Of Love

| USA | Marriage & Partners

(While driving home from work, I’m replying to a text for my husband because he is driving. He takes a turn somewhat quickly causing the phone to slip out of my hand.)

Me: “Your phone is in the backseat now.”

Husband: “How did that happen?”

Me: “You took that turn quickly and I wasn’t holding the phone very tightly. According to Newton’s laws; an object in motion stays in motion until acted upon by an outside force. Because of this, the phone moved out of my hand until it hit the door (an outside force) which then only deflected the motion, causing the phone to land in the backseat where, presumably, it was stopped by the seat itself.”

(Brief pause.)

Me: “Wow, I am reeeeally nerdy, aren’t I? I could have just said it slipped out of my hand and landed in the backseat.”

Husband: “You could have, but your nerdiness is part of the reason I love you, so don’t ever change.”

Time To Face The Music

| Reno, NV, USA | Dating, Exes/Old Flames, Fights/Breakups

(My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. He’s just found out that I like a band he doesn’t like.)

Me: *jokingly* “Are you going to break up with me now because I have bad taste in music?”

Boyfriend: “No, don’t worry. All my ex-girlfriends have had bad taste in music.”

Me: “Not reassuring.”

Call The Pun Police

| Fairbanks, AK, USA | Marriage & Partners

(My husband and I are driving. We’ve noticed a lot more police out and about so we are discussing it. Then, this happens:)

Husband: “Is that cop driving on a donut?” *meaning a spare tire*

Me: *barely controlled giggling*

Husband: “What? What’s so funny?”

Me: “The cop… is driving on a donut…”

Husband: *takes a minute* “Oh! D*** it! Now I’m making puns. You! You did this to me!”

Me: *maniacal laughter*

The Real Driver Of The Relationship

| NY, USA | Dating, Top

(My boyfriend has lived his whole life in the city, while I’m a suburbs kid. Therefore, I do 95% of the driving since he always took public transportation and barely knows how to drive. He’s also a stereotypical ‘New York Driver,’ even when he’s not behind the wheel.)

Boyfriend: “You’re letting all these people get ahead of us!”

Me: “I’m not slowing down at all though, and actually we’re going 10 over the speed limit as it is.”

Boyfriend: “But you’re leaving way too much space. Why don’t you just pull up!?”

Me: “Because it’s called safe driving! It takes a certain amount of time to stop if—”

(Literally in the middle of saying it, the cars ahead of us suddenly slam on their brakes, causing me to slam on mine. Despite leaving ‘too much space’ we stop less than a foot from the bumper of the car ahead of us.)

Me: *quiet a second* “—so can I leave more space—”

Boyfriend: *squeaky voice* “YEP!”

From Double T’s To Double D’s

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Dating

(My boyfriend and I are driving home. We frequently play a license plate game where we make up a phrase based on an acronym from the letters/numbers. I come across one that is TYT.)

Me: “Totally Youtube!”

Boyfriend: “Nah, it’s Toyota, with no vowels.”

Me: “Technically, with the absence of other vowels, ‘Y’ is a vowel, Toyota with no vowels at all would just be ‘TT.’”

Boyfriend: “TT’s! Can I call your boobs Toyota from now on?!”

Me: “No, I’d be more of a Fiat or Mini Cooper – small but perky.”

Boyfriend: “As long as I get to see them, I’m okay with that!”


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