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    Road Ragey-Wagey

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Engaged

    (I am driving and my fiancé is a passenger in my car. As we are about to merge onto the expressway, another car cuts us off. It should be noted that I generally don’t swear.)

    Me: *to the driver who cut me off* “You butthead fartface poop!”

    Fiancé: “Wow, [My Name], that’s some strong language there!”

    Held Together By Bovine

    | CA, USA | Dating

    (It’s early morning. My boyfriend is driving me to work. I am sitting in the passenger seat, extremely tired and grumpy after having difficulty sleeping for several days. My boyfriend sees a certain truck on the side of the and suddenly shouts out the name of a company that does maintenance on highways.)

    Me: ”Cow trains?”

    Boyfriend: ”What?”

    Me: ”I thought you said cow trains.”

    Boyfriend: *laughs* ”No, I said [Maintenance Company]!”

    Me: ”Oh.” *starts imagining a train made out of cows*

    Boyfriend: ”So is a cow train a train full of cows?”

    Me: ”I was thinking of a train made out of cows.” *starts laughing* ”Chugga chugga, moo moo!”

    (I didn’t feel quite so grumpy after that!)

    Don’t Know Whether To Laugh Or Cry

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are in my car, driving to work and listening to the radio. A song I really like comes on, and I start rocking out.)

    Me: “This song could have been written about me.”

    Boyfriend: *looks at me in disbelief* “This song is about a guy who is so sad about breaking up with his girlfriend that he goes to a bar and gets so raging drunk that he can’t stop laughing!”

    Me: “Exactly!”

    Said Without Batting An Eye

    | FL, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are driving home after going to dinner. It is late and I’m a little loopy/tired.)

    Boyfriend: “We can do anything your little heart desires once we get home.”

    Me: “My heart desires goodnight. Hey, you know what’s weird and kind of creepy?”

    Boyfriend: “…what?”

    Me: “If an animal got hit by a car and its eyeball popped out, the eyeball would still glow in the dark.”

    Boyfriend: “What?! Can we not? That is so creepy!”

    Me: “Well, I mean, it wouldn’t glow in the dark, but it would still reflect light.”

    Boyfriend: “CAN WE NOT?! Stop talking about it! That’s super weird and creepy!”

    When Red Means Go

    | MA, USA | Dating

    (I am seeing a new guy, and since he doesn’t have a car I’ve been driving for us whenever we go somewhere. We’re currently sitting at a red light, and he tilts my face towards him and starts to give me a kiss.)

    Me: *teasingly* “Hey… I’m driving!”

    Guy: *with a giant grin* “It’s okay. We’re stopped now!”

    Me: “Okay, fine. Just this time.”

    (Over the next few red lights the guy continues to kiss me every time, and every time I complain about it jokingly. We come to a red light where he forgets because we’re talking so I go silent and start looking at him expectantly.)

    Guy: “Why are you looking at me like that?”

    Me: “You’re slacking off!”

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