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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Chocolate Balls

    | PA, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My friend and I are driving back from a popular local amusement park where lots of candy is sold. I am texting my significant other from the passenger seat.)

    Significant Other: “Does [Popular Local Theme Park] carry a five-pound version of [Popular Chocolate]?”

    Friend: “No. Just a five pound chocolate bar.”

    Significant Other: “How big a marshmallow would you need to make s’mores with that?”

    Friend: “One of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man’s testicles?”

    Significant Other: “There’s something strange in the neighborhood…”

    Friend: “No. No. Some people like nuts in their chocolate.”

    Don’t Be Weird About The Beard

    | Moss Point, MS, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I have Asperger’s and thus tend to be a bit weird about things. My husband has just gotten a new job that allows him to grow facial hair and we are discussing what styles I would be okay with him having.)

    Husband: “Wait, so a long beard with mustache is okay, but a long mustache or a long goatee is not okay?”

    Me: “Yes. Long mustaches without a beard are creepy and long goatees are just gross.”

    Husband: “I am not equipped to deal with your neurosis.”

    Me: “Hey! You had ample warning! My mom even sat you down and talked about it!”

    Husband: “Well, they warned you about me and you didn’t listen.”

    Me: “Yeah, but they were wrong about you so that doesn’t count.”

    Training Dragons: Challenge Accepted!

    | CA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I love to watch shows like How I Met Your Mother, M*A*S*H, etc., but we also love animated shows and movies…)

    Me: “[Ex] always liked that one stupid thing from Madagascar 2… and every now and again I hear his voice in my head quoting it and I cringe… I liked Madagascar 1 but I never wanted to see 2.”

    Boyfriend: “I didn’t like Madagascar. It seemed like DreamsWorks’ attempt at not being bad… Nothing they made was really good until How I Met Your Dragon…”

    Me: *laughs hysterically*How to TRAIN Your Dragon!”

    Boyfriend: “Nope! It’s How I Met Your Dragon, now!”

    Me: “And that kids… is how I met your dragon!”

    Dialed-In Dinner

    | Australia | Dating

    (My girlfriend had apparently ‘butt-dialed’ me by accident. After some silence from her, and the noise from the cd-player, I hear this:)

    Girlfriend: “Tabouleh, tabouleh, I’m gonna make some tabouleh. Tabouleh, tabouleh, taluba-uba-uba-uba-oooouuu-leh.”

    (I hung up and when she told me what she was making for dinner, I asked her if she had any tabouleh for it. She was thoroughly confused.)

    Stair-ing Into Each Other’s Soul

    | Half Moon Bay, CA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I share the same bizarre trains of thought. We are driving along the coast when he gestures out the window at some seagulls that are floating in the air above the beach.)

    Boyfriend: “I like how the seabirds just, like… become stairs.”

    Me: “You mean when they hover?”

    Boyfriend: “Yes!” *pause* “It’s nice that you get what I’m saying even when I don’t make sense.”

    Me: “But it does make sense: they’re not moving, like an escalator when it becomes stairs.”

    Boyfriend: “EXACTLY!”

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