• Time To Step Up
    (321 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: Crushes!

    A Girlfriend Not Called Wanda

    | Kitchener, ON, Canada | Dating

    (While on the way to a restaurant with my boyfriend, he begins speaking with a fake but fairly believable Australian accent. I really like certain accents, and knowing this, he compared me to Jamie-Lee Curtis’ character in the movie “A Fish Called Wanda,” as she also really liked accents.)

    Me: “I can’t help it! Certain accents just sound so… sexy.”

    Boyfriend: “Uh-huh.” *parks car* “Come on, Wanda. Let’s go.”

    (I laugh, then we both freeze for a second.)

    Boyfriend: “Wait…”

    Me: “Wanda is the name of the fish… who is eaten. You just called me a fish.”

    Boyfriend: “N- No… Okay, come on, Jamie.”

    Me: “That’s the actress’ name, not the character’s.”

    Boyfriend: “Well, I don’t remember the character’s name!”

    Me: “You know I’m putting this on Not Always Romantic, right?”

    Boyfriend: “I figured.”

    Hopefully Awesome Makes The Cut

    | UT, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband has been growing his hair out since he was 13, so at the point of this story, it is fairly long. We are driving to a friend’s house, and the friend’s wife will be cutting my husband’s hair short.)

    Husband: “I hope I don’t lose my power, like Samson from the Bible.”

    Me: “Oh, my god, what if you lose your awesome?”

    Husband: “We’re f***** if I lose my awesome.”

    Me: “Mainly because my awesome is kind of pitiful, and we are living off of your awesome.”

    Husband: “What will we do?”

    Me: “Hey, we’re only halfway to [Friend]’s house. You can still back out. We could just have a pleasant dinner with them!”

    Husband: “No, I can’t back out now. This is the closest I’ve gotten to actually cutting my hair.”

    Me: “And losing your awesome.”

    Husband: “S***.”

    (He went through with the haircut, and it looks really good! We still have yet to find out if he has lost his awesome, though…)

    Thinking Is Magic

    | UK | Dating

    (My boyfriend tends to call me a pain in the butt, because of me generally being clumsy and not thinking when I say things so words end up jumbled. We’ve just gotten into his car after he’s finished work and are about to go get food when he notices I forgot something.)

    Boyfriend: “Honey, you left the parking permit in here.”

    Me: “I forgot to think again.”

    Boyfriend: “I’ll just drop it in tomorrow, then. Do you ever think about anything?”

    Me: “You know my brain is full of rainbows and sparkles.”

    Canadian Love Story

    | ON, Canada | Dating

    (My boyfriend is driving me home after a full day of hanging out at his place. It’s worth mentioning that we live in Canada and are both hopeless romantics.)

    Me: *after saying something particularly romantic* “Geez, I’m such a sap.”

    Boyfriend: “Hey, if you’re a sap, then so am I.”

    Me: “Yeah, you are a sap.”

    Boyfriend: “Then we’re both saps!”

    Me: “I can deal with this.”

    Boyfriend: “In fact, we’re such saps that if they tapped us, actual sap would come out!”

    Me: *laughing* “We’re so Canadian that we bleed maple syrup!”

    Saw That Punchline Coming A Mile Away

    | Elyria, OH, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I am driving with my wife in the passenger seat to visit her parents in a suburb of Cleveland, OH. She spots a small road sign that reads “Cleveland Psychic Convention June 10th.” It is July, so obviously the sign is outdated.)

    Wife: “Oh shoot, we missed the Psychic Convention!”

    Me: “I saw that coming.”

    Page 1/3612345...Last