(My husband and I are in bed. I’m reading; he’s on his laptop playing an adventure game. I reach over and poke his stomach.)

Husband: “Hey! You poked the ‘Belly of Destiny’!”

Me: “The ‘Belly of Destiny’?”

Husband: *looking down* “Oh, sorry. That was the ‘Belly of Density’.”

(I am notorious for taking a while to shut down the computer and go to bed.)

Husband: “Hey, honey, it’s bedtime!”

Me: “Okay, be right there.”

(I finish what I’m doing, and shut down the computer after a few minutes. I walk down the hallway to find my husband waiting for me; light-saber flashlight in his hand.)

Husband: “There you are. I was about to come get you… with Force.”

(My boyfriend will often go on weird tangents about superheroes. It’s one of the things I adore about him, figuring out where his mind is going. We’re snuggling in the morning before beginning our day.)

Boyfriend: “You know how you’re at a grocery store, and you see those pyramid type of displays? And how you’re at the front of it, looking, admiring, and thinking about how you don’t want to disturb it, but you want some of the product?”

Me: “Yeah…”

Boyfriend: “So, I was thinking about Superman. He could swoop in and take a can from the bottom-most end of the display, causing it to crash. But because he’s so fast, he’d do it, put the can in your hand, and be around the corner before anyone could see or react.”

Me: “Uh huh…”

Boyfriend: “Then I thought it’d be a cool TV show idea… ‘Superman: The Douche Moves’.”

(It’s now a running theme in our conversations: trying to find the ‘douche-iest’ things that Superman could do.)

(It’s Saturday morning, but I have some errands to run. When I return home it’s still early, so I get naked and return to bed. My boyfriend purrs happily and returns to sleep. About an hour later, he wakes up.)

Boyfriend: “You’re naked!”

Me: “Erm… yes.”

Boyfriend: “You’ve been lying with me naked this whole time, and I didn’t realize it and kept sleeping! I’m so sorry!”

Me: “It’s okay!”

Boyfriend: “No, it’s not! I’m so sorry; what a waste…”

(He then starts kissing me, always mumbling about the wasted time.)

(I am snuggling with my boyfriend when suddenly he dives under the covers and starts play with my boobs.)

Boyfriend: “Beep, beep.”

Me: “What are you doing?”

Boyfriend: “Trying to turn your sexy level up, but the computer says it’s at the highest.”