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    When I Look Into Your Eyes, I Don’t See Metal

    | Eagan, MN, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I have just gotten back from lunch and I email my husband.)

    Me: “Honey! I was just listening to heavy metal in the car!”

    Husband: “Firehouse is NOT heavy metal.”

    (It was Firehouse.)

    Cheesy Interior Decorating

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Marriage & Partners

    (I’m at work and debating whether to go to my dance class afterwards and text my husband.)

    Me: “Couch, pizza, and hubby sound much more appealing. In fact swap that couch for bed and I think I’m sold.”

    Husband: “Couch pizza, or bed pizza are new. Do they make them from couches or beds or do they make them to look like them?”

    Spoiling For A Complaint

    | CA, USA | Dating

    (I am at work, and during my break I text my boyfriend who is at home overseas for the holidays. Note that I deal with incredibly spoiled rich customers.)

    Me: “Just worked on [Credit Card] inquiries for the most spoiled bratty couple ever. Promise we won’t ever be like those couples?”

    Boyfriend: “We won’t.”

    (But another text pops up…)

    Boyfriend: “We’ll have people to complain for us.”

    She Gets Rid Of My Grief(ers)

    | LA, USA | Dating

    Me: “Ugh. I hate being unproductive. Fridays will kill me… and the day is going by so slow!”

    Boyfriend: “Just think, Minecraft tonight.”

    Me: “Oh, I am so going to kiss you when I get home.”

    An Unreasonable Assumption

    | Kent, England, UK | Advice, Engaged

    (I am chatting with two of my co-workers about nothing in particular. My male coworker is getting married next year. I am female.)

    Female Coworker: *to male coworker* “You can be quite feminine at times, you know.”

    Me: *laughing* “You know, I thought that earlier when you were saying about how good the Bridget Jones films were!”

    Male Coworker: *indignantly* “I thought that women liked it when men are in touch with their feminine side?”

    (My female coworker and I share a knowing look.)

    Me: “Yeah… When a woman says she likes a man who is in touch with his feminine side, she actually means ‘I like a man who will sympathise with me even when I’m being completely unreasonable.'”

    Male Coworker: “Ah…”

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