Featured Story:
  • Facing The Romance
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  • Spoiling For A Complaint

    | CA, USA | Dating

    (I am at work, and during my break I text my boyfriend who is at home overseas for the holidays. Note that I deal with incredibly spoiled rich customers.)

    Me: “Just worked on [Credit Card] inquiries for the most spoiled bratty couple ever. Promise we won’t ever be like those couples?”

    Boyfriend: “We won’t.”

    (But another text pops up…)

    Boyfriend: “We’ll have people to complain for us.”

    She Gets Rid Of My Grief(ers)

    | LA, USA | Dating

    Me: “Ugh. I hate being unproductive. Fridays will kill me… and the day is going by so slow!”

    Boyfriend: “Just think, Minecraft tonight.”

    Me: “Oh, I am so going to kiss you when I get home.”

    An Unreasonable Assumption

    | Kent, England, UK | Advice, Engaged

    (I am chatting with two of my co-workers about nothing in particular. My male coworker is getting married next year. I am female.)

    Female Coworker: *to male coworker* “You can be quite feminine at times, you know.”

    Me: *laughing* “You know, I thought that earlier when you were saying about how good the Bridget Jones films were!”

    Male Coworker: *indignantly* “I thought that women liked it when men are in touch with their feminine side?”

    (My female coworker and I share a knowing look.)

    Me: “Yeah… When a woman says she likes a man who is in touch with his feminine side, she actually means ‘I like a man who will sympathise with me even when I’m being completely unreasonable.'”

    Male Coworker: “Ah…”

    Split From Reality

    | Galveston, TX, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband is finishing his PhD, and I am applying to enter grad school. I’m discussing our future plans with my boss.)

    Me: “I’m also applying to a school in [City], because I have family there. That way if [Husband] and I split up it will be easier on me.”

    Boss: *looking horrified* “I didn’t think that something you should be planning for.”

    Me: *completely missing the point* “Well, it’ll suck, but we’ve done it before… Wait! No! Not SPLIT UP split up, just live apart for school. No, we’re not planning for THAT!”

    Feel-Good Language

    | NY, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are talking on the phone about my plans to work out more and be healthier in general. He is a scientist, while I am a writer.)

    Boyfriend: “You know, exercising is proven to release feel good thingies in your head. It’s a fact.”

    Me: “By ‘feel good thingies in your head’, I assume you mean ‘endorphins in your brain’?”

    Boyfriend: “Well, I didn’t want to get all technical on you.”

    Me: “God forbid.”

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