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    In The Heat Of The Night

    | IL, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (Our old-fashioned waterbed heater shorts out in the ‘on’ position. Consequently, it starts burning the wood support. Luckily, my husband sees the smoke just as it is beginning, wakes me, and does everything necessary to extinguish the fire, safely remove the heater, and drain the water mattress. He also has to call into work to explain why he will be late. When he walks into work a few hours later, he is greeted with:)

    Coworkers: “Here’s [Husband]. The last of the red hot lovers.”

    When I Look Into Your Eyes, I Don’t See Metal

    | Eagan, MN, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I have just gotten back from lunch and I email my husband.)

    Me: “Honey! I was just listening to heavy metal in the car!”

    Husband: “Firehouse is NOT heavy metal.”

    (It was Firehouse.)

    Cheesy Interior Decorating

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Marriage & Partners

    (I’m at work and debating whether to go to my dance class afterwards and text my husband.)

    Me: “Couch, pizza, and hubby sound much more appealing. In fact swap that couch for bed and I think I’m sold.”

    Husband: “Couch pizza, or bed pizza are new. Do they make them from couches or beds or do they make them to look like them?”

    Spoiling For A Complaint

    | CA, USA | Dating

    (I am at work, and during my break I text my boyfriend who is at home overseas for the holidays. Note that I deal with incredibly spoiled rich customers.)

    Me: “Just worked on [Credit Card] inquiries for the most spoiled bratty couple ever. Promise we won’t ever be like those couples?”

    Boyfriend: “We won’t.”

    (But another text pops up…)

    Boyfriend: “We’ll have people to complain for us.”

    She Gets Rid Of My Grief(ers)

    | LA, USA | Dating

    Me: “Ugh. I hate being unproductive. Fridays will kill me… and the day is going by so slow!”

    Boyfriend: “Just think, Minecraft tonight.”

    Me: “Oh, I am so going to kiss you when I get home.”


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