(My husband and I are rather tight on money since I’m not working and he’s at a min-wage job. We can’t afford to do anything for Valentine’s Day this year. We both play a MMORPG called ‘EverQuest 2’.)

Husband: “I have something I want to show you.”

Me: “Um, okay.”

Husband: “Take the housing portal to Nezerreth’s Inn Room.”

Me: *confused* “Okay.”

(The entire room is decorated for me. Hedges with red roses frame the room, roses are scattered everywhere, butterflies and fireflies are also used. In the middle of the room on the floor he has spelt out in silver roses: ‘I Love You’.)

Husband: “Well, we don’t have any money, but I just wanted to do something for you.”

Me: *staring at it happily* “Yay!” *claps hands* “There’s no pink!”

(I often tease my girlfriend and call her a lesbian. We’ve decided she’s actually half bisexual.)

Me: “You always round up to the nearest whole if you have half or more, right?”

Girlfriend: “Yeah?”

Me: “Well if you’re half bi, then you’re all bi, which would make you half lesbian.”

Girlfriend: “Hmm.”

Me: “And if you’re half lesbian, you’re all lesbian. Therefore, you are a lesbian.”

Girlfriend: “Well, I can’t argue with math!”

(I am playing an MMORPG. My character’s avatar is quite colourful, with a rather flamboyant name, which is ironic since I am gay but not flamboyant in real life. I am running a single player quest when a guild of other characters come across mine. The in-game banter kicks in.)

Player #1: “Are you a queer?”

Me: “Why does that matter?”

Player #1: “Because you look like a f***ing queer. All that rainbow s*** on you.”

Me: “So what if I am?”

Player #2: “Oh, my God! He is a queer! Get off this game you homo! Go play My Little Pony!”

Me: *sarcastic* “Oh, my. How progressive.”

(Suddenly one of the players starts attacking my character. Being a seasoned player, I respond immediately with a rather powerful magic spell. I KO one character immediately, but there are still four left and they are all quite powerful in their own right. I am about to die myself, when another character, literally a knight in shining armour, runs into the scene and starts attacking the characters. He also manages to heal me and together we manage to fend off the homophobic guild.)

Heroic knight: “Hey there! I saw that they were grieving you, so I thought I would jump in and help.”

Me: “My hero! Lol. Thanks so much!”

Heroic knight: “I wonder what their problem was anyway?”

Me: “Just a bunch of homophobes.”

Heroic knight: “Death to all homophobes! Someone should invent that spell!”

(We chat in-game a little more and discover that we are both gay, the same age, and live in London! We have been dating for a few years, and people always gasp when I tell them we met when he saved me from being killed by a bunch of thugs.)