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    Mentally Healthier To Blame Someone Else

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Dating

    (My girlfriend has schizophrenia, which causes her to believe her inconsequential actions will make bad things happen to others. She’s part of a mental health stand-up group, so we often use humour to help manage those thoughts. We’re walking down the street one day when we hear an ambulance siren.)

    Girlfriend: *shrinking into herself* “I hope I didn’t cause that….”

    Me: *puts an arm around her* “Oh, don’t worry sweetie; I’m sure it was someone ELSE with schizophrenia that caused it.”

    A New Scale Of Understanding Each Other

    | Houston, TX, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I just had dinner with his family at a BBQ restaurant, and we leave to take a walk in the park. We end up making out.)

    Me: *burps a little while we are making out* “Oh, I’m sorry. I guess the BBQ isn’t settling.”

    Boyfriend: “It’s okay. I give that one a three.”

    Must Love Dogs

    | Canada | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I have just spent the day together. We’re going up the escalator with him on the stair behind him. I turn around and grab his chin, petting his facial hair a bit.)

    Me: “You’re such a cutie.”

    Him: “Did you just do the same thing to me that you do to your dog?”

    (Yes, yes, I did.)

    The Recipe Is Out

    | USA | Dating

    (I’m hanging out with my best friend, his brother, and his girlfriend. The conversation topic turns to plans for the evening.)

    Best Friend: “I’m excited, because [Girlfriend] is teaching me how to make pretzels tonight.”

    Friend’s Brother: *in a loud whisper* “Yeah, that’s not the only thing they’ll be making tonight.”

    Me: “Like what?”

    Friend’s Brother: “They’ll probably be making a little-known recipe called ‘out.'”

    Friend’s Girlfriend: “Making ou— Really?”

    Best Friend: “Well, he’s not lying.”

    A Lot Of Inappropriate Content In The Cloud

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Dating

    (While enjoying a relaxing date by lounging in the grass at a local park, the two of us have started staring at the sky.)

    Me: “There’s one of the seaplanes.”

    Girlfriend: “Let’s find shapes in the clouds! That one kinda looks like a big mushroom.”

    Me: “Hmm… yeah.” *pointing to a cloud* “And that one over there kinda looks like a seahorse.”

    Girlfriend: *pointing at the same cloud* “Look, a PENIS!”

    (She proceeded to giggle madly for ten minutes and now enjoys sending me seahorse related gifts.)


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