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    A New Scale Of Understanding Each Other

    | Houston, TX, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I just had dinner with his family at a BBQ restaurant, and we leave to take a walk in the park. We end up making out.)

    Me: *burps a little while we are making out* “Oh, I’m sorry. I guess the BBQ isn’t settling.”

    Boyfriend: “It’s okay. I give that one a three.”

    Must Love Dogs

    | Canada | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I have just spent the day together. We’re going up the escalator with him on the stair behind him. I turn around and grab his chin, petting his facial hair a bit.)

    Me: “You’re such a cutie.”

    Him: “Did you just do the same thing to me that you do to your dog?”

    (Yes, yes, I did.)

    The Recipe Is Out

    | USA | Dating

    (I’m hanging out with my best friend, his brother, and his girlfriend. The conversation topic turns to plans for the evening.)

    Best Friend: “I’m excited, because [Girlfriend] is teaching me how to make pretzels tonight.”

    Friend’s Brother: *in a loud whisper* “Yeah, that’s not the only thing they’ll be making tonight.”

    Me: “Like what?”

    Friend’s Brother: “They’ll probably be making a little-known recipe called ‘out.'”

    Friend’s Girlfriend: “Making ou— Really?”

    Best Friend: “Well, he’s not lying.”

    A Lot Of Inappropriate Content In The Cloud

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Dating

    (While enjoying a relaxing date by lounging in the grass at a local park, the two of us have started staring at the sky.)

    Me: “There’s one of the seaplanes.”

    Girlfriend: “Let’s find shapes in the clouds! That one kinda looks like a big mushroom.”

    Me: “Hmm… yeah.” *pointing to a cloud* “And that one over there kinda looks like a seahorse.”

    Girlfriend: *pointing at the same cloud* “Look, a PENIS!”

    (She proceeded to giggle madly for ten minutes and now enjoys sending me seahorse related gifts.)

    Growing To New Heights Of Gullibility

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Dating, Theme Of The Month

    (My boyfriend’s family lives in a more affluent part of town. We are on a walk around his neighbourhood.)

    Boyfriend: “You know houses in [Neighbourhood] can’t have grass past a certain height?”

    Me: “Really? That’s kind of ridiculous.”

    Boyfriend: “Yeah, if you have your grass taller than four centimetres, you have to cut it.”

    Me: “How would you even police that?”

    Boyfriend: “Volunteers go around with rulers to measure everyone’s lawns.”

    Me: “Seriously? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!”

    (My boyfriend goes silent and when I look over at him he is grinning smugly.)

    Me: “Oh, shut up!”


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