(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)

Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”

Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”

Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”

Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”

(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)

(It is my first Valentine’s Day with my boyfriend, and I am nervous about trying to find him a present because he spoils me silly. I buy a plush toy on a whim to add to the main present.)

Me: “I hope that you like your present. I tried to think of things that you might like!”

Boyfriend: *supportively* “Don’t worry, I’m sure that I’ll like whatever you… IS THAT A TIGER SHARK PLUSH TOY?!”

Me: *sheepishly* “Happy Valentine’s Day?”

(He carried the plush tiger shark around with him all evening, stroking and petting it like a super-villain and a pet cat. Apparently, it was the best Valentine’s Day gift he had ever received!)

(My boyfriend and I are out on a walk. We goof around a lot, and are huge geeks. I put my arm around his shoulders.)

Boyfriend: “Hey, you’re choking me!”

(I move my arm so only my hand is touching his shoulder.)

Boyfriend: “You’re still choking me.”

(I move my arm so it is hovering above his shoulders.)

Boyfriend: “Stop choking me!”

Me: “Yes! Darth Vader status achieved!”

Boyfriend: “Your confidence is your weakness!”

Me: “Your faith in your friends is yours!”

(I am walking with my best guy friend, who I have had a crush on for the longest time. We are going to get coffee together. It is Christmas.)

Guy friend: “So, what do you want for Christmas?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Guy friend: “No, seriously… I have no idea what to get you this year!”

Me: *laughs* “Seriously, I don’t know!”

Guy friend: *raises eyebrow* “Why are you so hard to buy for?”

Me: *teasing smile* “I don’t know? Anything is fine!”

Guy friend: “Anything?”

Me: “Yes, anything!”

Guy friend: “Well, then…”

(He steps in front of me, takes both my hands, and kisses me, right there in the street. I am surprised, but kiss him back.)

Guy friend: *forehead against mine* “How’s that for a start?”

Me: “Wow. Definitely a good start. Can I have you for Christmas?”

Guy friend: *laughs* “Of course, and every day after if you’ll have me.”

Me: “There’s no one I’d rather have these cheesy moments with!”

(My girlfriend and I are walking down the street on my way to work, when a leaf flutters down from a nearby tree. My girlfriend recoils about a foot, with a sudden look of terror. We stop, and I stare at her with huge eyes.)

Girlfriend: “We’re being attacked!”

Me: “It’s a leaf.”

Girlfriend: “But it came at me!”

Me: “With leaf-al intent!”