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    Paying The Price Of Corniness

    | IA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are out to eat. I happen to look down at my drink and the foam has randomly made a shape of an arrow.)

    Me: “Hey, look! There’s an arrow in my drink.”

    Boyfriend: “And it’s pointing at me; it must be a sign.”

    Me: “Of what? Who’s going to pay?”

    Boyfriend: “…Ouch.”

    Shut Up You Butt-Head!

    | Bloomington, MN, USA | Dating

    (I have what some people call a “butt chin” and my boyfriend and I are just finishing eating.)

    Me: “Ugh. I don’t feel good now. I ate too much.”

    Boyfriend: “You gonna poop out of your chin? You’d feel better!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Boyfriend: “I said that out loud, didn’t I?”

    Me: “Yes. Yes, you did.”

    A Warming Friendtionship

    | PA, USA | Flirting/How We Met

    (My best friend and are I are incredibly close, to the point where people think we are dating. My friend is male, while I am female. We go out on weekly dinner dates during school, and this happens on one of our ‘dates.’)

    Me: “You know, [Mutual Friend] asked me yesterday if we were ‘a thing.'”

    Him: “Yeah, my parents asked my sister the same thing.”

    Me: “Are we not allowed to have friends of the opposite gender without getting asked if we are together?

    (At this point I pretend to lay down on the table in exasperation and he grabs my hands to warm his own hands up. He continues to hold my hands across that table until he feels his hands are adequately warm.)

    Me: “You know, this might be why people think we are dating…”

    Him: “I was thinking the same thing!”

    Mickey Maus

    | Atascadero, CA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are just leaving a restaurant after dinner. Over the course of the weekend we have had several different conversations about WWII Japan and the U.S.S.R. about war atrocities and the experiments they performed.)

    Boyfriend: “Okay, lets talk about something different, something happy. Like Disneyland!”

    Me: *absentmindedly* “Yeah… like Mickey, Goofey and Donald going in with shotguns and blowing them away…”

    (My boyfriend starts laugh and smiling as he grabs me in a hug.)

    Boyfriend: “And this is why I love you!”

    This Relationship Died Before It Began

    , | Antwerp, Belgium | Flirting/How We Met

    (Upon leaving the restaurant, a passer-by stops me:)

    Him: “Are you single?”

    Me: *a bit cautious after earlier experiences* “Why?”

    Him: “I’m looking for someone like you to replace my recently deceased girlfriend.”

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