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  • First Mis-Steak Of The Relationship, Part 2

    | Newport, RI, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are eating dinner.)

    Boyfriend: “[My Name], I only have eyes for you.”


    Boyfriend: “And this steak.”

    First Mis-Steak Of The Relationship

    Even The Tardis Can’t Go There

    | Mountain Home, AK, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are at a restaurant eating soup, and I look up and happen to notice he’s staring down my shirt. I put my hand over my cleavage.)

    Me: “What are you doing?”

    Boyfriend: “I’m not doing anything!”

    (He pointedly looks away and I go back to eating my soup. Not even five seconds later I look up and he’s just staring down my shirt again. I put my hand over my cleavage again.)

    Me: “Not doing anything?”

    Boyfriend: “… I’m… staring into all of space and time!”

    Has No Beef With A Breakup

    | WA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I have only been seeing each other for about four months. I introduce him to a local Brazilian steakhouse, and we’ve decided that we’re going to go there semi-regularly because their food is amazing. He tends to say very strange things when we’re there, because the tastiness of the food and the ambiance of the place just put him in a weird state of mind. He’s just said something else weird, and this conversation follows.)

    Me: *having just noticed there is a five-year-old seated behind me* “You tend to say a lot of weird crap when we’re here.”

    Boyfriend: “I think this place just kind of puts me in a no-filter state of mind.”

    Me: “So… it puts your mind somewhere near mine?” *laughs* “Because we both know that I can censor myself. I just don’t particularly care to most of the time.”

    Boyfriend: “Wait, what other weird stuff have I said here?”

    Me: “Last time you said you thought this was the kind of place that you could get dumped in and not even care.”

    Boyfriend: “Oh yeah. Well, it’s true!” *taking a bite of steak* “Even if you and I aren’t together anymore, I’d still have a soft spot for you for introducing me to this place.”

    Me: *laughing* “There you go again. It is a nice place, though. We should bring your parents here next time they’re in town.”

    Boyfriend: “My dad would love this place more than I do, I think. But I love this place, and I love the person who brought me here!” *smiling*

    (Neither of us had said ‘I love you’ yet, and that was certainly the last thing I was expecting to hear!)

    A Very Picky Partner

    | Jacksonville, FL, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I are leaving a restaurant. I stop at the curb, and yell “CURB TOLL.” He knows that if I do this that I want a kiss.)

    Boyfriend: *hands the doggy bag to me and tries to pick me up, which he knows I hate*

    Me: “No, no, no! I don’t want to be picked up!”

    Boyfriend: “Well, I’m sorry, but this is the only way I know how. I’m no good at pickup lines.”

    Guacamole Always Beats Romance

    | Tampa, FL, USA | Engaged

    (I am out to dinner with my finance.)

    Me: “So, I read this story on Not Always Romantic—”

    Fiancé: *interrupting* “You have guacamole on your forehead.”

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