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    Made A Huge Mistake

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend and I often make fake non-nonsensical insults back and forth to one another. He says ‘I want a Popsicle’ I say ‘YOU’RE a Popsicle!’ This will progress to ‘Your FACE is a Popsicle’ to ‘Your MOM’s face is a Popsicle’ etc. We are out shopping.)

    Boyfriend: “I swear this store looks closer than it did before.”

    Me: “Well, they did open up this area here with some construction. It looks huge.”

    Boyfriend: *in joking tone* “YOU’RE huge!”

    (Pause.)

    Boyfriend: *in horrified tone* “Oh, my god… What did I just say?!”

    Me: *cracks up laughing*

    Doing It Mexican Style

    | Bloomington, IN, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (My husband and I decided to stop mid-intercourse to race across town before the local adult store closed, because we discovered that the toy we wanted to use had mysteriously melted in the box under our bed. He also occasionally forgets how in-sync we are.)

    Me: *toy in hand* “We made it in time!”

    Husband: *starts car and looks at me funny*

    Me: “Don’t tell me you don’t want to anymore?”

    Husband: “No, I do, a lot. I was just wondering if we could stop at Taco Bell on the way home?”

    Me: “Oh, my God! I can get a freeze!”

    (He won’t doubt my commitment to sex or Taco Bell for awhile.)

    They Met On The Bleach, Part 2

    | Germany | Flirting/How We Met

    (My friends and I are cosplayers, and I am searching for a specific fabric for a bunch of new costumes we want to wear to the next convention. I go to a store and ask for that fabric. They don’t have any of it so I start to ask if there was something else we could use. There were two girls and a boy in this shop looking at the fabrics as well.)

    Saleswoman: “So, what do you need that fabric for?”

    Me: “A costume.” *in Germany a ladies’ suit is also called a costume*

    Saleswoman: *blank stare*

    Me: “You know… not like a skirt and a jacket. More like… a real costume.”

    Saleswoman: “OH, MY GOD! YOU’RE A COSPLAYER?”

    Me: “Um… yes?”

    Saleswoman: “Oh, my God! Are you going to be at [Next Convention], too? Who are you going to be?”

    Me: “Um yes… A character from Bleach. He is called Shunsui.”

    Saleswoman: “THAT’S SO COOL!”

    (By this time the two girls and the boy are standing practically next to me, talking about cosplay being ‘childish’ and so on. I really don’t want to cause trouble, so I ignore them and tell the saleswoman about the last convention we were at.)

    Me: “It was really hot. I had this cosplay made out of this really long synthetic fur. And one of the guards told me to let security check me for weapons. So we went there and I let them put a sticker on my nose. And one of my friends was checked too, because she was dressed as the Easter bunny—”

    (At this moment the boy whirls around and stares at me before he starts yelling too.)

    Boy: “Oh, my God! YOU ARE THE MOONKIN!”

    Me: *nods*

    Boy: “How cool!”

    (Complete silence, while everybody, including the two girls stares at him in disbelief.)

    Girl #1: “You are SO embarrassing! I don’t want you to be my boyfriend anymore!”

    Boy: *deadpan* “You insulted a moonkin… I don’t want to be your boyfriend anymore, either!”

    (With that, he just turned and left while the girls just glared at me until they left, too. Wherever you are, young man, you made my day! Thank you!)

    Related:
    They Met On The Bleach

    A (Very) Simple Matter Of Engagement

    | NC, USA | Dating, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (My boyfriend and I have just wrapped a Sci-Fi/Fantasy convention for which we both work as staff, and are walking about looking at supplies and talking about things we need for the Con next year.)

    Boyfriend: “We should pick up a binder to start planning a wedding, too.”

    Me: *silent for a moment, then nodding*

    Boyfriend: “Did I just… I guess it’s official, then.”

    Me: “Yeah. We have to come up with a better story to tell my mother.”

    (Proposing between conversations about our mutual work: he’s a keeper.)

    Love Is Blind, Part 3

    | MT, USA | Marriage & Partners, Theme Of The Month

    (My husband and I rarely go to the store without one another out of convenience because most stores are a considerable drive away. This makes it incredibly easy for us to drop hints about gifts to one another, but equally difficult to actually buy gifts without the other knowing. We are at the store waiting for a prescription to be filled. We are browsing the Valentine’s Day themed aisles to kill time when my husband points excitedly at a shelf.)

    Husband: “Oh! I like that one!”

    (I see he is pointing at a teddy bear with a felt mustache stuffed into a tall mug decorated with mustaches.)

    Me: “Really? The mustache one?”

    (I visibly pause to consider if I’ll get the chance to visit the store without him to get it before Valentine’s Day and decide that it isn’t an option. While he looks at me in confusion I grab the bear and shiftily place it in the cart as if he can’t see me.)

    Me: “You saw nothing!”

    Husband: *shiftily placing a nice flower vase in the cart* “You saw nothing, too!”

    Related:
    Love Is Blind, Part 2
    Love Is Blind


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