(One of my guy friends has asked me out on a date after admitting he’s had a crush on me for several months. Since the crush is mutual, I accept. It’s the day before the date, and I’m at work (part-time cashier), in a great mood.)

Customer: “You don’t have to go on break anytime soon, do you? I’ve got a massive order.”

Me: “Nope, I actually just got off break, so you’re fine.”

Customer: “Great!” *I start scanning items* “So, are you looking forward to the weekend?”

Me: “Yes! I have a date this weekend that I’m really excited about. And you?”

Customer: “Having a family get-together; a really big one, obviously!”

(10 minutes later, they’re still going on this huge order.)

Customer: “I forgot something! Can I—”

Me: “Sure.” *customer runs off, and I spot my guy friend/date at the end of the line* “Hey! I thought you were at work!”

Guy friend: “Nah, I work the late shift today. Just stopping in to pick up some dinner and see you!” *grins*

Me: “Aw! You’re so great.” *big, stupid smile on my face*

Customer: “Okay, I’m back. So sorry about that.” *sees my guy at the end of the line* “Oh, you only have two items. You know, I have a really big order, so you might want to go to the express lane.”

Guy friend: “I’m cool here.”

Customer: “No, seriously, she’s in the middle of my order, and you don’t want to be standing here for a long time.”

Guy friend: “Really, it’s okay.”

Customer: “The express lane has no line!”

Me: “No, no, he’s fine! He’s here to-”

Guy friend: “I’m here to see her.” *points at me*

Customer: *looks at me, then looks at my guy* “Oh. Oh! I am so sorry! Never mind, you stay right there!”

(My guy did stay there—for another 10 minutes while I rang up the rest of the customer’s order!)

(It’s Christmas time, and I’m doing some overtime to help my boss and a female co-worker put up some decorations around the store when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Can I have that tinsel?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry ma’am, this isn’t for sale. It’s just for the store. We’ve got some decorations for sale in the next aisle if you want me to show you?

Customer: “No. I want that one, are you even Christian?”

Me: *taken aback* “Uh, no ma’am, I’m not.”

Customer: “I thought so, you don’t deserve these decorations…you’re a heathen!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but my boss wouldn’t be happy with me giving away the decorations he’s already paid for.”

Customer: “I bet he wouldn’t be happy knowing that he’s got a heathen as an employee! I bet you’re one of them gays as well right?”

Me: *stunned* “Um…actually…”

Customer: *shouting* “You’re going straight to hell! I bet the rest of the staff don’t even know about your little secret!”

(Just then, my coworker walks up to us.)

Female Coworker: “Hey babe, can you help me set up the tree?”

(The customer turns white, and practically runs out of the store.)

Female Coworker: “Man, that woman was a b****!”

(We set up the tree and she asks me out afterwards, we’ve been dating for nearly seven months!)

(I work as a bagger in a popular market chain. A customer comes in with her son about my age. They get a huge amount of items and I help them load it to the car. She seems to have back problems.)

Customer: “Hey, [son], do you think we should get a movie for tonight?”

Customer’s Son: “Not much on right now, it being almost Halloween. The only thing good was the [popular comic book based movie].”

Me: *being a total nerd* “Oh, I loved that movie!”

(The customer’s son looks surprised.)

Customer’s Son: “It wasn’t as good as [prequel] though. I just think they took out the story.”

Me: “Oh, I know. [Prequel] was a lot better. It was still pretty good though.”

(We geek out for about five minutes as we load the items into the car. I get back to work when my manager approaches me.)

Manager: “Did you get his number?”

Me: “I don’t think he was that interesting.”

Manager: *laughing* “Are you kidding? He’s practically throwing himself at you! You have to admit, he was pretty cute.”

Me: “Yeah he was. It is too late now though.”

(I start to feel sad when I notice my manager smiling stupidly. I turn around to see the son.)

Customer’s Son: “Well, maybe then you will accept my number and maybe you will actually call.”

(We have been together for a month now and have barely been apart for a single day.)

Me: “Hello sir, how can I help?”

Customer: “I want to make a complaint about the lady who just served my wife. She is 8 months pregnant. When she came to pay, the checkout girl didn’t offer to help with the packing. She let my wife struggle!”

Me: “I’m really sorry. It’s store policy to ask if the customer needs help with the packing. Do you have the receipt so I can see who served her?”

(I walk over to the till and show the checkout girl the receipt. She explains what happened. I return to the customer.)

Me: “Hi sir, the checkout girl explained that your wife was on her phone at the till. She asked a few times if she needed help packing but she didn’t answer. I’m confident we did all we could to help.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not good enough. I want some money back on the shopping for the poor service. My wife is pregnant and in a lot of pain and had to struggle on her own. No one helped her.”

Me: “This receipt is from a few minutes ago. Can I ask where you were?”

Customer: “I sat in the car waiting for her to come back. What’s that got to do with anything?”

Also seen on: Not Always Right

(This happened about 5 years ago, when I was doing weekend work having just turned 18. A customer in his 50s approaches my checkout.)

Customer: “I’m sorry, but why aren’t you wearing your ring? That’s very disrespectful.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but what ring?”

Customer: “You know, your wedding ring?”

Me: “I think you may have mistaken me for someone else. I’m not married–I’m only 18.”

Customer: “When I was your age, I was married and my wife was pregnant with our son! How can you not be married yet?! It’s getting far too late for you! No one will ever want to marry you at this rate!”

(I love the idea of romance, and am very emotional, so I have tears in my eyes, even though I know he is wrong. A male coworker has been listening the whole time and speaks up to defend me.)

Male coworker: “I disagree, sir. I, for one, would like to marry her.”

(In frustration, the man takes his shopping bags and storms out the shop, all the while muttering. My coworker and I went out for drinks after work, and now, five years on, he really is my fiancé! I suppose I have a lot to thank that man for!)