(My boyfriend and I are at our friend’s wedding reception. I totally blank, and can’t think of the word ‘groomsmen.’)
 
Me: “So, the brides side has bridesmaids. What are the guys on the grooms side called again?”
 
Boyfriend: “Uh, pallbearers?”

(My dad plays in a band, and they often play wedding receptions. During one such instance, someone runs out during the wedding to buy a broom to use as a pole for the limbo. It is after the reception.)

Groom: “Does anyone have use for this broom?”

My Dad: “Oh! Do you mind if I take it? It’s mine and my wife’s anniversary. I can’t wait to see the look on her face!”

(My dad is giving a speech at a wedding reception.)

Dad: “Me and my wife make an almost perfect couple.”

Crowd: “Aw!”

Dad: “I’m perfect. She’s almost!”

(It’s my boyfriend’s sisters wedding, and we’ve been together for almost two years. His younger sisters are both in relationships as well, and we’re all anticipating the awful ‘who’s next’ jokes.)

Me: *quietly, to my boyfriend* “So, what’s the plan of action if anyone asks when
we’re getting married?”

Boyfriend: *equally quietly* “Punch them.”

(After the ceremony, the groom’s grandfather is talking to us.)

Grandfather: *jokingly* “So, when are you two getting married?”

Boyfriend: *to me* “Go on, punch him!”

(Thankfully, he wasn’t serious, and the grandfather thought it was hilarious!)

(My uncle, the baby in his family, is finally getting married. The whole thing takes place on Orcas Island, which meant we all had to take ferries over from the mainland. My grandmother, his mother, is notoriously bad at finding the right train/bus/boat to get her wherever she needs to go, and sure enough, she lets on the wrong ferry and now has to take a much later one. As a result, she is missing the rehearsal dinner.)

Dinner Guest: “Where’s [Uncle's Name]? Cold feet already?”

Bride: “He had to go pick up his mom from the ferry. There was some confusion about the ferry schedule, I think, but they should be back soon.”

Dinner Guest: “Well, I don’t know if I’d want to marry a man who missed his own rehearsal dinner. Aren’t you upset about it?”

Bride: “Why would I want to marry a man who WOULDN’T skip a party to go pick up his mother? If he hadn’t gone, I would have. So, no, I’m not upset to be marrying a wonderful, family oriented man!”