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    Eating Out

    | NY, USA | Dating

    (My boyfriend is coming over after work and we’re texting about timing.)

    Boyfriend: “I’ll leave work at six. Dinner?”

    Me: “Yes, we will eat something for dinner.”

    Boyfriend: “Haha.”

    Me: “What? It’s true.”

    Boyfriend: “If you keep this up I’m going to eat you for dinner.”

    Me: “Well, that’s not very appropriate in public…”

    Take A Chance On Me

    | Darmstadt, Germany | Dating

    (My boyfriend spends the night at my place and has a shower in the morning. The week before, I had started to hang the shower curtain over the bathtub, so I could clean it more easily.)

    Me: “Good morning. I’d just like to say that I did not speak of the wet curtain, when I said it should be hung over the bathtub. That is all I have to say about it.”

    Boyfriend: “Okay, I had a 50/50 chance on that curtain and I failed. That’s why I don’t gamble.”

    The Danger Of Falling In Love

    | Buckinghamshire, England, UK | Engaged, Theme Of The Month

    (I’ve just arrived at work. As usual, I send my fiancée an email to let her know I’ve got there safely, as there is no signal at work.)

    Me: “Got to work okay, my love! Traffic was all right. Heavy rain at one point but I got through it. Cold here, even with the heating coming on early. It’s through the air con, which takes longer to warm the room. How did you sleep? I love you.”

    Fiancée: “Hello. My bed warm. World cold. Need wee. Danger Will Robinson. X.”

    (She doesn’t yet know this is going online. This is why I’m with her.)

    Back To Black Chocolate

    | WA, USA | Marriage & Partners

    (I am IMing my wife while we’re at work.)

    Wife: “I just got a rehab commercial on Pandora.”

    Me: “Chocolate rehab?”

    Wife: “Haha.”

    Me: “They tried to send me back to rehab, I said nooom, nom, nom!”

    They Just Compute

    , | Bergen, Norway | Flirting/How We Met

    (Despite being one of the go-to guys whenever there’s a problem with one of our computers at work, I consider myself fairly incompetent with computers. Thankfully most problems at work can be solved with very basic troubleshooting skills, but my private laptop is another matter. There’s a coworker that I’ve flirted a little with, but so far, nothing more. I’m a bit awkward due to some particularly nasty earlier dating experiences.)

    Me: “Hey, [Coworker]. You’re pretty decent with computers? Right?”

    Coworker: “Yes.”

    Me: “Um… Would you like to come to my place and defragment my computer?”

    Coworker: “I… what? Yeah, I could do that.”

    (She was nervous about going to the place of an almost stranger. After fixing up my laptop we watched ‘Hackers’ before she took the bus home. Been married three years now!)

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