(I have brought my girlfriend to a family gathering. She has not met my family before and is very nervous about it.)

Uncle: *to me* “Be gone! I must question your new paramour.”

Me: “Righto!”

(I wander off, but stay within earshot.)

Uncle: *to my girlfriend* “Young lady, what are your intentions with my nephew?”

Girlfriend: “I am going to lull him into a false sense of security, kill him, and then mount his head in my basement with the others.”

Uncle: *immediately gets up and walks past me* “She’s a keeper.”

Related:
The Couple That Slays Together, Stays Together, Part 5
The Couple That Slays Together, Stays Together, Part 4
The Couple That Slays Together, Stays Together, Part 3
The Couple That Slays Together, Stays Together, Part 2
The Couple That Slays Together, Stays Together