(My boyfriend and I are in bed, settling down for the night. We turn to face opposite sides, with our backs to each other.)

Me: “Apparently, sleeping with your backs facing each other is a sign of trust between you and your partner.”

Boyfriend: “Uh huh.”

(We adjust to get comfortable, and shift so that we are both angled and our bums are touching.)

Me: “So, what do you think it means if our butts are touching?”

Boyfriend: “Ultimate trust. Or war!”