(My boyfriend often makes fun of me for saying a lot of blonde things. On this particular night, I’m exhausted from work and on my A game for dumb statements.)

Boyfriend: “I’ll scoop you up and carry you back to the car if you need me to.”

Me: “Babe, I’m not ice cream.”

Boyfriend: *blank stare* “You’re lucky I love you. Following your thought process makes my brain hurt.”

Me: “Oh, like brain freeze?”